Yes, Another Pompous Review

IT'S NOW OVER! I promise this will be my last blog about Britain's Got Talent, well until next year anyway. You may have noticed that this past week, everywhere has been mainly about Britain's Got Talent - even if you went on holiday, you wouldn't get away from it because the world is addicted apparently. Twitter is swamped by comments about it, Facebook is full of supporters creating fan group, and the newspapers are loving it, as well as the news programs which directly follow it and tell us what happened all over again.

Let's just quickly run through the acts that made it into the final. Flawless, a dance group, which were very similar to Diversity in the fact both groups were made of dancers from different minorities. There was Aidan Davis, who was also a dancer, who was compared to being the next Justin Timberlake, and he was good. Also there was another dance duo, called Stavros Flatley who were a Greek father and son group, who do Irish dancing. I say Irish dancing, all they seemed to do was prance around the stage with their tops off - their influence looked to be Omid Djalili. So, that's 4 dance acts.
We had Shaheen Jafargholi, which isn't just a load of letters stuck together, it is actually his name, and for some reason my spell checker doesn't like it. Anyway, he was a young singing boy, who sung some songs. We had 2 Grand, who are a Grandfather/Granddaughter singing act, who sung together quite well, seeming to favour the more operatic songs. As did Hollie Steel, the blabber mouth as The Sun called her Saturday, who cried in the Semi-Finals because she got nervous. It's not her fault. She didn't want to sing, and when her mother pushed her on stage in that ballerina costume, it really hurt. Shaun Smith was singer too, and indeed, my favourite singer of the lot as he was singing my kind of songs. We also had Susan Boyle, who we all know as that Scottish thing. Her dress for the final made her look like a mermaid - who had eaten all the fish in the ocean. So that's 5 singing acts.
The last act was Julian Smith, who seems to only know how to play two songs, but managed to bluff his way to the final. He was a rather good saxophone player, and was the only saxophone player in the finals. However, in the semi-finals there was a bloke who could make the sound of a saxophone for the sake of it, but he didn't make it to the final surprisingly.
So going by those statistics, that means the world now thinks that 40% of us can dance, 50% sing and the other 10% all go around playing the saxophone. Not exactly a huge range of talent we seem to have here by the looks of it. One thing I noticed is that I don't remember seeing one comedian this year, which means we're all serious twerps as well. None of us can act either because no actors got into the semi finals. There were no painters, meaning we must all live dull lives. There were no writers, which is a talent, all be it a rather dull one to watch. There was a group of knitters, but they weren't entertaining enough and resulting in them being booed off. Britain has more talent to offer than singers, dancers and a saxophone player - surely.

I must say though, that I am rather proud of you lot. Julian Smith, the saxophone player came third. Susan Boyle, the new Jade Goody as far as I'm concerned came second and Diversity, the dance act who I was supporting to win, actually won - I picked a winner. You didn't listen to The Sun tell 'subtly' tell you to vote for Susan Boyle because she was the best (which she wasn't), you actually grew a backbone and voted for the talent in the competition - Diversity.
Although now, it seems we must have slipped into a parallel universe, because this was bad, according to Piers Morgan's posy, which is more commonly known as 'The Media'. The headlines have included things such as 'Britain's Got Talent Upset'. Yes, it seems that the public went mad, and voted for the wrong person last night - how could Diversity possibly win. Potato face was obviously the best act... The media are not happy today. It's almost as bad as Diana dying. You see the media are always right. Either they predicted something right and boast about it, or they were right, and everyone else was wrong. At the moment, it's the latter.
This is all despite the fact that we have found out that Susan Boyle is set to make over £8millon through her Internet success, so unfortunately, this isn't the last we have heard of her, and there is some more mileage for the media to push her through. I'm expecting Diversity to perform in front of the Queen, and unless Prince Charles makes a racist remake towards them, be forgotten about and cast to metaphorical waste bin of reality TV, were David Van Day, Jade Goody and Michael Barrymore now rest, because they have been overshadowed by a huge Boyle.

But despite all that, let me say once again to you - the general public; Thank-you for not giving Susan Boyle a majority of the votes on the Britain's Got Talent final. Don't get used to it though, it won't be long before you all do something stupid and I have to write another blog calling you all idiots, yet again.

Toodles m’dearys
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