Hmm, So What Have I Left To Write About... Feet?

You can tell I have began to run out of blog ideas because this blog is about my foot problems, so I am sorry for boring you with what I should really be consulting my doctor with. I can list three current problems that I am having with my feet, which cause me pain and makes walking less comfortable. An ingrown toenail is one thing, multiple blisters is another and also having a bruised ankle bone, making it impossible to walk without limping.

I know a lot of my problems are caused by wearing shoes of the wrong size. Length wise, my foot is a size 10, but the width of my foot makes it a size 11, thus meaning I have to wear size 11 shoes. That is what causes most of my problems I believe. The ingrown toenail is a result of insufficient support around my toes and the blisters caused by my foot sliding around in my show. My bruised ankle however is a result of not having a big enough bed and I keep kicking my bedroom units in my sleep.

Looking around on the Internet for help isn't much use either. For an ingrown toenail they just tell you to keep washing it. Should washing not cure it though, they say the next step is to have part or the entire toenail cut away in a 'Painful, but safe procedure'. People, who know me, will know I don't cope with pain particularly well, and usually makes my stroppy and miserable, so if they think I'm bad now, they haven't seen anything yet.
Today in the post did come some nail softener, which was brought off the Internet last week. Usually I wouldn't buy medication or any form off the Internet whether it is cream or tablets, but in this case - I did. The label on the bottle is written in another language, apart from one sentence which tells you how to use it. 'Put two drops of the nail softener on the affected area twice a day'. This is as well as me smothering my foot with cream in an attempt to get rid of my blisters and the redness from my sore feet.

Someone suggested that I buy a pair of sandals and wear them, in an attempt to let my feet breath more, making them healthier during the summer. You can tell this person has never seen my bare feet, as they are not exactly the best looking feet, and they are not even symmetrical. On one foot, all my toes are curled up, and on the other they are all straight, meaning one foot looks bigger than the other. I also have incredibly hairy feet for some unknown reason, and should I wear sandals, people looking at my feet would think I had a foot transplant from a gorilla. Another thing is that an ingrown toenail isn't the prettiest of sights, so showing it off to the world won't be vastly appreciated, and most likely won't help with my mission of 'wooing' a woman into foolishly loving me.

I have had foot problems for years, and more than likely inherited it from my father who seems to always be complaining of foot problems. This isn't the first time I've had an ingrown toenail either. A few years ago I had one and was sent to a podiatrist who was useless and thus I have the problem again. Maybe I should go to the doctors again and take a list of problems I have, but it's just my yearly cycle. During the summer, most years I have at least one problem with my feet, and during the winter, I usually have a problem with my ears. I may as well just start getting used to it

As an attempt of saying sorry for this dull blog, I shall attempt another one tomorrow, hopefully a happier one.
Toodles m’dearys
xXXx

BBC News 24 Say 'He Touched All Generations'

Have you heard? Well, there's this little rumour going around that Michael Jackson may have died from a Cardiac Arrest. There are so many jokes which I could say about Michael Jackson's life and subsequent death, but a majority of which are very inappropriate, and I won't lower myself to saying them, as a lot of people have done and instead I'm writing a blog to show a little bit of respect. I have decided that I am not going mention his recent history in the media, but shall stick to the good points about him and how he has been conveyed in the past 18 hours; well I will try my best anyway.

Let me just draw your attention to a blog I wrote in February entitled "'Z-lebrities' In Need (of Sympathy)" in which I moan about two people. Jade Goody and Michael Jackson, moaning about how they both try and get sympathy from the public through their health situations and now within 4 months both have died. It's only a coincidence, but it did seem I had created a hit list, or a list of people Max Clifford advisees.
Max Clifford was on BBC News 24 talking about MJ's death, and he managed to bring the conversation around to saying how brilliant Jade Goody was. When will people shut up about her? Anyway, I digress.

Everyone knows Michael Jackson, and a lot of people like his music, whether it's in the times of The Jackson 5 or whether he was black or white at the time of recording. He is an icon of pop music as the news keep telling us, and of course that is true. He has the biggest selling album, meaning he had a huge amount of money, but how to spend it? Numerous operations. He went from looking incredibly normal in his early days when he was still black in his Billie Jean and Thriller music videos, to looking like a complete and utter freak.

Some 18 hours later after the news first broke on Sky News and BBC News 24, it was still considered to be breaking news by the news channels and Sky's headline throughout has been very blunt - 'MICHAEL JACKSON IS DEAD'. There is only so much these news channels can say though, and it wasn't long before they started repeating themselves, and constantly telling us that he was dead and just showing helicopter footage of the hospital and a small crowd of people outside it, why the newsreaders kept saying how tragic this sudden death was and how it will affect millions across the world and Interviewing irrelevant people.
Both BBC and Sky News managed to get footage of the ambulance reversing out of the Jackson residence and then the dead body being put in a van and taken to a coroner. During the night they had interviews with people who vaguely knew him and had met him once or twice to tell their memories of him. Then it was time to round up the sobbing American idiots to ask how they felt of this tragic event. Most of them were crying and saying how they loved him so much. He seems to have some rather hardcore fans, that has to be said.

Since the news was first told to us about the death of Michael Jackson, that is all we have heard. News reports on the radio just simply say 'Michael Jackson has died from a cardiac arrest.' Forgetting the conflict in Iraq about the election results, or the babysitter who murdered a child and not paying any notice that Swine Flu outbreaks have increased substantially in the past 24 hours. Michael Jackson dying is the only piece of news we need to here, and has been compared to the likes of Elvis and John Lennon by the media. They were all icons of their times and all died early. Comparisons have even been found to Diana, and now you can't compare anything to Diana without comparing it to Jade Goody also - The peoples princess of the 21st Century so I keep being reminded. Anyway, I've digressed again.

Another thing that annoys me is the Americans and that they can be manipulated to feel anything. Should the media tell them to feel angry towards someone, then my goodness, they'll go around with a rather angry expression upon their faces. If the media tells them that to feel sad and cry over the death of a pop star, then they will go out into the streets and cry, then the media will capture them crying, and the most distressed looking one will be put on TV to show the emotions in an exaggerated form. Rather ridiculous looking, well from the point of view of a cynical man anyway.

Gordon Brown can never resist commenting on events like these, so he comes along and says it's upsetting news, and then in a bid to outdo him, David Cameron comments on it saying that he grew up listening to Michael Jackson, to make his connection to the public and make him seem like a normal guy. Then we get introduced to a face we haven't seen since he appeared on I'm A Celebrity... Good friend, Uri Geller. Telling us how Michael Jackson was a misunderstood soul and reminding us that he was upset, with a smile on his face. Probably because he hasn't been on TV for such a long time. In between all these pointless interviews with pointless people giving their pointless opinions, the news channels kept spontaneously changing to a music channel, who seemed to have Michael Jackson's songs on repeat, which again, the newsreader would speak over this and tell us something we already knew, for example that Michael Jackson was dead.

And every part of the media has been affected by this. News channels have had to find things to fill the time when nothing was happening, TV shows like Loose Women were gossiping about this loss of life. Journalists have been relying on Twitter, and not everything is real on Twitter, so they then put false information upon their newspaper's website. Telling us that David Miliband was upset, or at one point that Harrison Ford had died. The Internet was nearly broken by everyone logging in to find out whether Jackson was really dead. Twitter failed for 20 minutes, as did Google and Facebook reported an increase in status changes. 'Bob Bobson iz upset dat Michael Jackson iz dead. R.I.P. What a legend!'

His last tour was due to start in a few weeks also, entitled 'This Is It', and now they've all been cancelled would you believe it. A lot of people have said that the stress of doing these tours is what has caused him to die suddenly. Well I'm quite happy sitting at home listening to his music on my iPod. Admittedly, I only have 18 songs, and I'm not exactly a hardcore fan, but it has been a way of killing an hour and 20 minutes of my time listening to a selection of great tunes and has kept me entertained doing little dances as I sit here and write this blog.

I'm glad that no-one has really been mentioning all the allegations of Jackson's alleged paedophilia, because that isn't what I want him remembered for. He should be remembered as an icon of pop who created music that will live forever and remembered by most for his classic songs as Billie Jean, Thriller, Bad, Smooth Criminal, Beat It, Black Or White, Way You Make Me Feel and more than I can't be arse to name. Should you meet a person that makes a joke, making light of his death, you have permission to give them a good slap.
However, I still haven't found the answer to my question which I asked at the end on the blog I mentioned at the start of this blog. I am rather intrigued by this, as I'm sure you are:
What colour is Michael Jackson's penis? Black or White?
Or actually, does he even have a penis?

Try not to be to upset about it.
Toodles m’dearys
xXXx

Oh, and here is a link to a video on Youtube that Michael Jackson and Britain’s Got Talent fans may enjoy... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2YEX60XNJ0

Another Bloody Blog About Love... When Will He Give Up?

I can be considered to be more an observer of love, than a participant as over the past year I have watched many relationships fail and succeed while I just sit in an unlit corner watching and concluding my own opinions of relationships. Yes, I'm only seventeen, so I'm not exactly expected to be thinking about settling down with the one my heart desires and be planning how many children we'll have, what pets we'll get and the colour scheme for our first house, however I do feel a great expectation to not be single and start having a long term relationship. But with who?

Well, that is the question, but suggestions are welcomed. I've now been single for a year (roughly... Not that I've been counting...), and the single life is starting to get rather depressing. I recon I am becoming slightly bipolar. One day I'll be happy, cheery Stuy, making more euphemisms than you can shake your... Well you get the idea. The next day I'll be quiet and just generally depressed, usually when around friends who are in a relationship, or other friends who are also depressed about being single. But we are only in our late teens, we should be out enjoying ourselves, not being depressed because we've gone yet another day without a kiss and a hug from our one true love. Like I have said, there is an expectation for everyone to be in love. But what is the meaning love?

Well Dictionary.com describes it as "A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person" which I think is a lovely way of describing it. I'm not exactly an expert in love, having only had three relationships, which I wouldn't exactly describe as successful. But a lot of people of my age confuse love for 'fancying' or 'crushing' someone, or what I like to call - Disposable love. I've written a blog about this before, and it's where the relationship lasts a few weeks, but no real upset is felt when the brake up has happened, and even I know that's not love. Love is supposed to last a lifetime, apparently.

Love can't be forced upon a person either. You can't be told who to love, and who not to love as it's a personal emotion, and those feelings can only be created by yourself, not other people trying to set you up with someone else. That's why I hate the idea of dating websites, who find who they believe to be the best match for you, or blind dates set up by friends who are in relationships and feel sympathy for the sad, lonely and depressed.

Love is rather a funny thing to watch though, and I think everyone is guilty of this at some point in their lives. We pretend not to like a person which you actually do, and spend every waking hour thinking of. You convince other friends that you don't have strong emotions for that person by pretending you think they're ugly. Also convincing ourselves we don't like a person. This can come in the form of avoiding them at all costs or referring to them as a family member, so the idea of even kissing them becomes incest. As I've gotten older, I've thankfully stopped doing this, but it's rather funny to watch.

Then should we admit to ourselves and friends that we have these strong feelings about someone, we refuse to tell the actual person. You could quite easy walk over to the person, tap them on the shoulder and confess your love to them, but as human beings, we seem to find this embarrassing, so we admire from afar. Looking at them out the corner of our eye when they aren't looking is a favourite amongst most, as well as just looking through images of them on Facebook and wishing to ourselves that they were ours. However, I currently don't have feelings for anyone, although I wish I did, so I don't face this problem myself at the moment.

Something that has always troubled me though, is why people come to me for relationship advice, when like I have already said, I'm not exactly a connoisseur of love. I like the idea that people feel they can come to me for help, and trust me to give them good advice, but for relationship advice, I would go to someone else, anyone else really. However, my years of being single have paid off, as I have learnt to tell the signs of people fancying others, which include the ones above. Something which I've never understood though is that if a man acts like a bastard to a woman, they clearly like them apparently. I like to think of myself as a nice person, and being a bastard isn't one of my traits. So what does that mean for me? Well, I have no idea. When I fancy someone, I end up talking to them more, which also isn't a typical sign of attraction. A typical sign of attraction would be going all red if the person even looked in their direction, let along talk to them.

I am fed up of being single now, although I'm not sure how to change that. All the girls I know, I consider to be friends, and dating friends doesn't usually go right if Scrubs, Friends and personal experiences are anything to go by. I'm not really meeting new people either at the moment. Seeing as I don't believe in love at first sight, it seems unlikely that I'm going fall for a girl walking down the high street. People who say they found love at first sight are just liars. You can fancy someone at first sight, but you can't fall in love with someone without actually getting to know them. I'm sure there was at least one attractive Nazi, and besides the outfit you wouldn't know they were a Nazi without getting to know them, and who would want to marry a Nazi? Well, obviously not young Jewish girls. In fact that sounds worthy of Jeremy Kyle. "I Married A Nazi Who Murdered My Parents And Siblings. Now He Wants To Kill Me!" Anyway, the less said about that the better.

However, I feel I should point out at this point that I do love my friends, even though it is a different kind of love. I do know that they will always cheer me up; in between all the depressing moments we seem to have. The way it feels to me though, that it doesn't matter how great my friends are, it's not going to make up for being single. "It's just not having that someone to just make your day that little bit better with a cuddle" is a way one of my friends described it, which I do agree with. Being around friends who are madly in love isn't exactly that helpful either. You can't turn around without seeing them kissing. I think it's great they're in love, and I wouldn't change that, but come on! I know they don't do it on purpose - but talk about rubbing it in.

Unrequited love seems to be a favourite of mine, and it's when you love a person, and they don't feel the same emotions back to you. Unrequited love has been the subject of some heart wrenching poems and love stories throughout the ages, and most of us experience unrequited love at some point in our lives. Being in love with someone who doesn't love you can be a heartbreaking experience, which is something us teenagers seem to do a lot. Then we moan a lot about how no-one loves us and that we will be single for the rest of our lives.

Then for the unattractive, depressed, lonely and sad people like me, every year there is a day for people in relationships to mock the single. I have been single every Valentine’s Day of my life so far, and every year it gets worse. Where ever you go you see people cuddling and kissing after giving each other a cheap and tacky card with 'I Love You Soooo Much' carefully scribed inside. Because of my singleness every year I have grown a hatred to February the 14th, and I find it rather depressing when given a Friend's Valentine’s Card with 'I love you as a friend' scribbled in as an attempt to cheer me up.

Music doesn't exactly help either, with a majority of songs being about people who are in love or people sad after a break up. Music can usually change the way we feel, so by keep listening to songs by Maroon 5, you're guaranteed to feel depressed about your love life. My favourite song for that is Sleepless by Until June, and you can find a link at the end of this blog to the song on YouTube.

Talking about the end of the blog, here it is. So now it's time for me to get back to my depressing life of eating Pot Noodles alone and sleeping in bed with only my duvet to hug and keep me warm in the nights. And back to watching everyone around me being in relationships, where I sit in an unlit corner with a few other people crying as we watch everyone eat the faces off their partners and smile when they have an argument.

Toodles m’dearys
xXXx
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igpa75MyTbg

Unconventional

The word unconventional is used a lot, you could say it's used an unconventional number of times, but that would be an unconventional thing to say really, and very unconventional to keep saying the word unconventional in a paragraph about the word unconventional. Sometimes the word unconventional is used in unconventional places (like here) and other times it is conventional to use the word unconventional; possibly to describe my unconventional driving instructor.

I have been seventeen for two weeks and I have just completed my third driving lesson, which I must say are very frightening and how I've not hit anything yet is somewhat of a miracle. I had my first lesson on my birthday, but not under the best of conditions. The night before did include some drinking of alcohol in excessive amounts, not a great deal of sleep... And Mamma Mia three times (not my choice, that's for sure). So with my driving lesson I wasn't exactly the most alert I've ever been. It didn't really help that my driving instructor is unconventional.

Driving lesson one - Very simple really. It included a hill start, two roundabout, dual carriageways, and fourth gear hitting just over 50MPH. Just to break me into the act of driving softly. He claims it was a good way of building confidence, and it was really. However at the time I was totally and utterly nervous and a heart attack was only one more roundabout away. I got out of the car drenched in sweat and took me a few hours for my heart to return to what is considered to be a normal and healthy pace. I won't get bored though, and it is considerably better than just driving around a car park for an hour to practice using the clutch and break.

Driving lesson two - Again, very simple really. It included a hill start, dual carriageways and fourth gear hitting 50MPH. However it also included 5 roundabouts, a lot of country roads and I later worked out it was a 20 mile trip around East Kent. Not quite as terrifying as the first though. For a start, I got an early night sleep, hadn't touched a drop of alcohol for a few days and it had been a week since I last watched Mamma Mia. However, I did stall the car at the very start and at the very end, but the distance in between was rather successful. To be honest, this lesson was rather fun, even if I did get out of the car, drenched in sweat again and a heart that only took a matter of minutes to return to its normal state this time.

Driving lesson three – It was much simpler than the first two. It included the normal dual carriageways and fourth gear, not far away from 60 MPH and only 2 roundabouts. Also, I did a three point turn, something which is generally done after a few more lessons. Obviously I couldn't just attempt it and hope for the best, we had to have a chat first. But about the history of the introduction of the first driving test and World War II? You wouldn't think so, but yes, it is true and it did work. I knocked over no lamp posts and squashed no passing dogs; in fact it was rather successful. Well, the result was that the car was pointing in the opposite direction anyway. I got picked up from school and an hour later I was at home, so you could call it a £21 taxi ride, in which I chauffeured myself, ended up drenched in sweat again, but for the first time, got out with a smile on my face.

To be honest, the amount of times he keeps pushing me to go faster and faster makes me wonder if he is training me to drive fast so we can make a quick escape after he has robbed a bank; although I'm not saying he is. I am beginning to quite enjoy these lessons now with my confidence increasing as well as my skill. I have now nearly mastered the pedals and gear changing and the steering and general stuff that involves the car moving and not crashing.
He could be a heck of a lot worse though, because at no point does he shout when I make a stupid mistake, and he even adds a few laughs in between the serious business of teaching me drive. After walking 3/4 miles in the pouring rain the other day, I am even more focused on passing my driving test and driving my Orange Nissan Micra to school, or maybe even work by then. The day I have dreamt about.
I do feel guilty though because in my three lessons behind the wheel of a car, I seemed to have progressed the same as friends who have been learning to drive for months, and in one case, learning for over a year now. Am I just brilliant? I doubt it. Is it because the instructor is forever pushing me and thus growing my confidence? More than likely. Am I just delusional? Possibly.

Anyway, if you fancy going with this guy contact me because there is a free driving lesson in it for me!! And now the reason for the blog is apparent, I'm trying to persuade people living in the local area to me to drive with him so I can save £21. They never thought of that on Dragons Den did they!

Toodles m’dearys.
xXXx

Let’s Get A Lil Bit Political

Well everyone seems to be talking about the state of British politics and whether we should even have a parliament, and also everyone seems to be moaning to everyone else about the state of the country, if not the whole entire world, and how they would go about making it better. Well, surprisingly that is now what I am about to do, but without such a biased view - hopefully.

Today is Election Day, well the European and Local elections, where Labour are not exactly set to have record breaking success. Also, as usual, everyone gets into heated discussions about which party they will vote for, and other discussion along those lines. People sharing their opinion of who is to blame for the state of country this year, but I think the general consensus seems to be its Labour's fault.

Is there anything that doesn't result in David Cameron calling for a general election? Rhetorical question that, but he does seem to have said that every week for the past few years, mainly because he is at the top of the polls, showing that he would win, and the Conservatives would again lead us and put the reign of terror from Gordon and the Labour party at an end. However everyone is very against him and Labour for reasons I don't quite understand. Everyone's view is that we didn't vote for Gordon Brown to be leader, but the truth is you vote for the party, not the leader. That's the way British politics works, and that's why he is leader without us having voted for him. Another reason is that he is being blamed for things that aren't his fault, which he has tried his best to fix. This money scandal thing, is being blamed on him, and yet he must be the only one in the Houses of Parliament who hasn't swindled the money of country for his own personal gain, and now this coup business is all very hypocritical because some of the people wanting him out are actually ones who charged the tax payer to feed their cat in their second home.

So yes, the turmoil in The Houses of Parliament, which seems to be the catalysts for a lot of these discussions which are about the state of our country; the economic downturn for example or maybe the Government’s handling of Swine Flu or the current money scandal. People paying taxes for the politicians to spend it on duck islands, and cat food and fancy wood work for the outside of houses and hanging baskets and light bulbs; it's almost as if we've never heard of people taking advantage of their position, who'd have thought such a thing could happen. Honestly - this has been going on for years. Does secretaries stealing pens and mechanics fixing their own cars without all the heavy breathing sound familiar to you? If I'm honest, I don't think people actually appreciate how much hard work it can be for an MP, but they do say ignorance is bliss.

Another 'brilliant idea' is this new car initiative where you can trade in your old car which is 10 years or older for a new one with £2000 taken off the price is all to help the economy and reeve up the car industry, however they haven't exactly thought this through. The car industry isn't just dependant on the manufacture of new cars. It includes garages and the manufacture of spare parts. With less older cars, there will be less going wrong, which will mean the need for spares will decrease, as will the need for garages to fit the said spares, resulting in small business going bust. Plus the Government have to find £2000 for every person who participates in this. One big viscous circle they have found themselves in I think.

Joanna Lumley has defeated the labour party a few times recently, over this Ghurkha business and suddenly everyone thinks she should be Prime Minister, as if it was that simple. Did St. George become Prime Minister when he defeated the dragon? No, I don't believe he did, he just had a day named after him. If everyone became Prime Minister after achieving something we'd have had Jade Goody in number 10 and we would currently be under leadership of the dance group Diversity.
But back onto the politics, and let’s think about the prospect of Gordon Brown being the first Prime Minister to be dumped by e-mail shall we. Assuming they do succeed and we have a new PM by mid July, it really isn't going to go well with the public. As much as everyone seems to hate him, a new Prime Minister wouldn't be tolerated, as voters are already angry about having an unelected PM, so having another would be a disaster for the Labour party, who aren't exactly popular as it is.
Another effect of this coup, should it occur, is that there would be a great deal of pressure for an October election, and it wouldn't end happily for Labour, as they would lose a lot more seats. According to YouGov surveys yesterday, today's election results should leave them third, behind the Conservative party and UKIP, who seem to be increasing in popularity, because of the increasing racism Britain seems to be going through.

Now I face dilemma, do I carry on writing about my opinion of all this gibberish, which I could quite easily and quite happily do, or do I let you nice people go and get some sleep or get back to doing something more useful? I think I shall go for the latter.
So , Toodles m’dearys
xXXx