Thou Shall Not Share Thy Opinion

You have an opinion that you would like to express do you? Well, let us make some checks... Is it remotely racist? Can it be construed as sexist? Are you mocking religion? What about being homophobic? Could it be gingerist? How about insulting fat people or discriminating the disabled? Are you Fascist or Ageist? Is what you are saying stereotyping a group within society, like Gypsy's or Dwarfs or is it a joke about class? Are you promoting genocide or heightism? Does this comment hate on young people? Are you pointing fun at Goths etc? Could this be you thinking you're satirising politics? Is it judging people with a certain taste of music? Are you generalising people with certain jobs like estate agents or lawyers? Do you want to share findings which you have spent years researching and have conclusive proof for what you want to say? Are you just pointing out the bleeding obvious?

If it is any of the above, then I would keep quiet if I were you. I mean, we don't want to start a worldwide scandal here. Mind you, if you really have no choice and you have to express your opinion, then take the following advice: Stand your ground. Or, failing that, run away as soon as someone slightly disagrees with your opinion and apologise until you have completely worn away all twenty eight of your teeth and then resign from your job, no matter what it is. You're an I.T. Technician whole commented on a ginger person standing in the queue in front of you to your friend the next day? Resign! You’re an old lady who said to a tall black man “You’re very tall dear, aren’t you; and surprisingly nice...”? Well run away before he gets offended dammit! How dare you people try and carry out the basic human right of Freedom of Speech. You disgust me! Moving your tongue about like a free spirit; you Hippie! Oh no, now I've done it. I'll have to get a job and resign straight away to prove how deeply sorry I am for any offence I may caused to anyone, ever!

Shall we take a break from the sarcasm and calm down now?

In case you are yet to notice, this blog is trying to make sense of this new trend we have of complaining about someone's opinion and thus taking a metaphorical sledge hammer to Freedom of Speech after being deeply offended by something we heard someone might have said.

In recent weeks, television personalities have been at the front of this worldwide misunderstanding. The BBC had to apologise to China after an innocent joke, made on Qi a little while back, was completely misunderstood by the entire nation and taken as slanderous racism. The little bloke on Top Gear forced the BBC to apologise to Mexico after he called them all lazy and flatulent. Maybe he took it slightly too far in the end, but it was merely exaggerating on a stereotype, which doesn't translate well in other countries. The latter scandal infuriated everyone who didn't particularly care. Steve Coogan is one, as he ranted to The Daily Express about the trio’s casual racism and calling them bullies. Yes, you see, sharing your opinion is no longer considered to be decent honesty; it is now called 'bullying'.

Take another recent example: the sexism scandal of Sky Sport pundits, which resulted in Andy Gray being sacked and Richard Keys resigning. The entire thing was due to them merely expressing the opinion that a female football official would not be able to under the Off-Side Rule. It isn't even as if they said it publically on TV; the pair was just recorded off air saying it. Now, how many blokes do you think sat in pubs watching the game and said exactly the same thing? I wouldn't like to guess how many. I don't think that was a comment to be taken as gospel; I think it was just part of a blokey shenanigan. Mind you, Andy Gray did lose his case when it was revealed he asked a female to help 'tuck him in', but even that was just a bit of banter, and it was off air.

We are nearing a time when you might as well be sacked for thinking. This must be a scary time if you are one of those lunatics that constantly wears a tinfoil hat for fear that the CIA are reading your mind. If even a slightly racist thought crossed their brain waves for more than a nanosecond, they would constantly fear the risk of being prosecuted. Many times I have had the thought to kill people. Could I therefore be charged for Intention to kill or commit GBH? If I had a barely racist thought, that doesn't mean I'm going to don the KKK's white cape and start chasing black people does it!? The world needs to get a grasp of how ridiculous it is becoming in an attempt to remain politically correct at all times.

Twitter is making this even worse as well. Over a year ago, a man called Paul Chambers tweeted "FUCK! Robin Hood airport is closed. You've got a week and a bit to get your shit together otherwise I'm blowing the airport sky high!" That is very unlikely to have been a real threat. I mean, you don't see al-Qaeda making threats on social networking sites. That would ruin the point of them. This was clearly an attempt at humour by the accountant, albeit slightly ill-conceived. This man has been charged of 'sending a menacing electronic communication'. Utter ridiculousness!

Paul Chambers, the bastard who tried to have a sense of humour!

I'm currently a bit peeved at the NHS and how I have been untreated with my dental pain the past few months because of bureaucratic slowness, so if I should tweet: "FUCK! Kent and Canterbury Hospital are irritatingly slow. They have one week to get me an appointment or I'm blowing the hospital sky high!"* am I going to be prosecuted? I probably won't because there is no real menace behind it, and if I know that and you know that, then where is the threat? It's the same thing.

Another example of this is a Conservative councillor being arrested for comments he made on Twitter about a Journalist, saying she should 'be stoned to death'. This has led to the man losing his job as councillor. I think it is a scary thought that normal people can be convicted through comments made on social networking sites. The amount of times I've called Piers Morgan a cunt, or continuously ranted about Jade Goody and applauding her eventual death. I tweeted the other day that I wanted to punch a small child in the face because my toothache was getting unbearable; am I now at risk of being arrested? Well, I hope not. I tweeted a long time ago that I drove through a set of red lights (accidentally, I'm not a dickhead). I didn't get contacted by the DVLA, but why is that any different? That is an actual crime that I committed; not an empty threat about blowing an airport up.

Twitter is also the centre of other scandals, such as comedians pointing out the bleeding obvious to Keith Chegwin. A comedian pointed out to the ageing unfunny man that a lot of the jokes he tweeted were not actually his, and were in fact material by current comedians working the circuit, and he claiming it as his own material. Other comedians then backed up the claims which 'Cheggers' refused to admit to, and carried on tweeting the jokes of people like Milton Jones. It has resulted in a continuous debate on Twitter with many slanderous comments being passed about. All this just because someone noticed that Chegwin tweeted jokes of other people; and it was painfully obvious. It was a friendly comment which ensued into electronic carnage with various top Tweeters abandoning the social networking site.

I mean, both sides of the debate have fair points. Jokes are a comedian’s livelihood. You don't steal famous artworks and claim them as your own handiwork. However, can someone actually claim ownership of a joke? Someone put the words in the right order to cause laughter, but can they actually own it? That's the beauty of jokes; you can share them with the world, and they get passed around and changed.

We just live in silly times where people are easily offended. I don't know the Offside Rule in Football particularly well, but accuse me of not knowing it; I'm not going to get offended. You can call me overweight if you want, I'm not going to get offended. You can make fun of my race and nationality; I'm not going to get offended. You can call me ginger if you want, I won't get offended (Mind you, I'm not ginger, so I'd just be confused...). So the list could carry on. It's an opinion, not fact. You see, the fact seems to be that you have the freedom of speech, but just don't be moronic enough to actually practice your rights.

That is what happens when you let people read The Daily Mail. Their journalists and columnist regularly flex their outrage muscles and think up slanderous opinions about anyone and anything, link it up to some comment about immigration, and BAM! That person's opinion has been turned into fact just because Daily Mail readers are gullible enough to believe anything. Tell them that Princess Diana, The Nations Princess, was actually killed by a giant Octopus brandishing the Eiffel Tower as a weapon, who then got stuck in the tunnel, and was also under the awesome power of an asylum seeker with a vengeance, they'd probably believe you. The Daily Mail has ruined England, and is the source of a virus that is spreading worldwide, which allows people to be told when they are outraged. It's the next pandemic: Offendere Flu. How do we cure this? Well, I'm afraid morons are just going to have to be culled in their millions in a frantic bid to save the uninfected members of the Human Race.**

I have no conclusive end for this blog. I get annoyed by people being offended and big scandals being born from someone sharing their opinions with another, joking about, being misunderstood or just pointing out the bleeding obvious that everyone is also thinking. This needs to come to an end, but I don't actually see a way in which this can resolved. I think it's a scary moment to voice unappreciated opinions. Thank God no-one has heard from Jim Davidson for a while. What? He's making a comeback this year? Oh mercy!

*This is a joke. I am not going to blow up Kent and Canterbury Hospital, or any other hospital. This was an ill-conceived attempt at humour which I deeply regret and hope no-one has been inconvenienced by my comment. No malice was intended.

**This is a joke. When I said I wanted all moronic people culled, I was misquoted and I am deeply apologetic for any offence caused to the community of complete morons...

Milton Jones. You Know, Him With The Shirts On Mock The Week...

The Crazy-haired, obscure shirt-wearer, pun-machine,
that is Milton Jones!

I don't think Milton Jones really suits the surroundings of Mock The Week. The show is a bear pit where comedians race to get their joke heard, and it will sometimes involve a race to the microphone or shouting louder than someone else until they give up. However, he still seems to excel himself. He is much like a senile Grandad who sits in the corner of a room quietly, until you forget he's there. Then, all of a sudden, he says what he has just been thinking about amongst all of the shouting. Everyone stops and listens, and then everyone laughs harder than they have previously to any of the other comedian’s material. He is brilliant and fast becoming my favourite current comedian.

                                                         

Therefore, it won't come as a surprise when I say that I have now seen him perform live for the second time, in a space of under 18 months. I reviewed his first show in 'My Comedy Nights Reviewed' blog at the end of 2009, and I very much enjoyed it. Well, I obviously did otherwise I wouldn't put myself through torture of going to watch him again for a few hours...

The show at Canterbury's Gulbenkian Theatre was actually scheduled for January, but due to 'TV commitments', it got postponed by a month. Also, this date was one of two, with the first one being booked very fast. This I think is a sign of how his popularity has increased since our last meeting. However, he is still different from all other comedians I have seen live. Last time I saw him walking about outside after the show. This time, I saw him wondering around before the show. I have only seen five other comedians live, but none of them have walked through the cafe part of the theatre, to buy a sandwich. Obviously, being the English people I, my friend and everyone else in 'holding pen' are, I don't believe anyone actually acknowledged him.

Anyway, once released from the holding pen into the theatre, and after a few Queen songs played and the lights turned off, the warm-up act came out. This was Milton Jones's Grandfather; or for the more cynical amongst us, Milton Jones wearing a cap, jacket and a gurn, whilst pushing a check shopping trolley, in the guise of the aforementioned Grandfather. Yes, he was his own warm-up act.

Or rather, he was a warm-up act for his warm-up act. After Milton's 'Grandfather' left the stage, a young chap called James 'Giftshop' Acaster took to the stage. In all honesty, I am always cynical about young comedians, so I was feeling anxious about this blonde haired man who has barely stopped using Freederm. He was actually, really funny and I thought him a great addition to the night. A great raconteur who will make every audience member squirm at the amount of detail he squeezes from every story. He also had great audience interaction in which he practically sodomised another young man live on stage. Whether that was a one off or if it always happens, I don't know, but that was a moment which had the entire room laughing. If it wasn't part of his routine, it probably is now. Incidentally, you won't get the 'Giftshop' part of his name unless you see him live.

He left the stage leaving everyone still slightly giggling and the interval happened.

Then the interval ceased, people returned to their seats and on stage came Milton Jones, sporting a blue addition to his collection of fabulous shirts.

His act was obviously brilliant. It was fast paced puns continuously, with him using props such as an overhead projector, a small book and slides to help him seamlessly flit from pun to another. He was only ever slowed down by hecklers, but then when has that never been the case with top comedians? He, and indeed other members of the audience, dealt with the heckler, who was soon put back in his place. One may enquire why people insist on shouting out, when they don't intend to deal with the follow up.

If you have flicked back to my old blog, you would notice that Milton has done the same thing in his last live show, such as dressing as an old man, but it was completely different. In fact, I think Milton was fantastic and I actually never wanted him to stop telling jokes. I would have been happy to sit there for many more hours. This whole evening out only took up two hours of life, and it felt like much longer. I suppose being told a vast volume of jokes in a short amount of time seems to affect how time seems to pass.

If you can go and see him, I strongly recommend it. If you like jokes, laughter, sodomy, old people impersonations, colourful shirts and props, then Milton Jones: Lion Whisper is the comedy show for you.

P.S. I have no real idea why he named it 'Lion Whisper', apart from the fact it's a reference to one of his jokes, which you'll miss if you cough.

Stuart's Unrequited Love Song Album

Regular readers of my misanthropic writings on this blog, or just generally know me, have an idea of my general idea of 'love', and will know this is yet another blog with a cynical outlook on the basic human emotion of Love. Not a lot has changed in the area of love since my blogs last Valentine's Day. I'm still single. People around me still insist on being 'in love' and insist of sharing it with the entire world. Surely I'm not the only one that hates being sat next to people who smooch each other’s faces off?

I have nothing more to say, so this year, I'm here to support my fellow singletons in their day of need. We're the sort of people that dread 14th February. We're the sort of people who never get a Valentine's card. We're the sort of people who never get the person we want, and probably, at some point in our lives, will settle for anyone. We are the unrequited lovers.

In respect to those people, I have created my own playlist of Unrequited Love Songs. This will give people the power to celebrate Valentine's in their own way. I have put this playlist on both YouTube and Spotify, and you can listen to all twenty songs the whole way through using whichever format you like. It will only take 80 minutes up of your life, and let's be honest, if you're reading this blog on Valentine's Day, you have the time.  Below I have given a small insight into why I have picked each song. Think of it as the inlay which sits in the CD case and hardly ever gets read. Enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=65C2AB4059BEBFE1

Or

On Spotify: Stuart's Valaween Unrequited Love Album

1.    Is This Love? - Whitesnake

Now, my album starts off with one of the vintage love song anthems. It's hard to find a love album which doesn't contain a Whitesnake song. 'Is This Love?' is a nice way to ease a listener into a romantic album. Everyone associates it with love, and with it being about the unrequited love for another, it also fits into the genre of this particular album of love songs rather well.

2.    Lovestruck - Madness

This is my sort of love song. It has an odd, cheery beat and rather unusual. Yes, this song may actually be about the love of a lamp post, but the general message is relevant. Listen to the lyrics. They're great. Remember, the lamp post is actually a metaphor. We're not dealing with a song about Objectum Sexuality. Anyway, I think it's a great song, and I hope you do too.

3.    Auf Achse - Franz Ferdinand

Never judge a song by its title. This song is actually about the unreturned love for a girl. I really like Franz Ferdinand, so I will always like this song. Again, it doesn't have that classic love song feel to it, but it's catchy and again, listen to the lyrics and understand the message in the song. Mind you, the general gist of the song is 'You want her, but you can't have her'...

4.    Invisible Touch - Genesis

This is a return to the classic love song genre. The words 'Phil Collins' are actually synonymous with love songs. It has a powerful edge to the song, and it kind of gets in your head after a while. Again, it works in this album because of it describing the power someone can have and how they can change you. Also, I love the sounds of the 70's; as do the normal love song albums. There seems to be something about that era.

5.    What If You Knew - Gabriella Cilmi

I don't suppose you really know this song, but this is a song about the unrequited love of a best friend. I think the lyrics are actually clever and I really love this song (I don't suppose the song loves me back though). It's also the only song on the album sung by a female. Not an intended choice, just how it worked out. It has a slightly electro, catchy feel to it too and is not what you would expect from a classic love song.

6.    Boomerang - Plain White T's

This is a modern song, which takes a different outlook on love, in comparison to the old classics. This song is about how the loved might treat the other person due to being oblivious to the feelings the other feels, and also how the unrequited lover would feel as a result. It has great lyrics which I expect from Plain White T's, and is again, not the classic sound for a love album. Are you noticing a trend here?

7.    Iris - Goo Goo Dolls

This is one of my all time favourite songs, and also an unappreciated classic of the love songs. Ronan Keating covered it, so it must be a classic love song, right? It's slow, yet intense beat pierces your emotions via the ear cannel, and the lyrics are brilliantly powerful; listen to them carefully to understand the full message. Listen to it a few times and you notice more. The song also has the big key change at the end, which something else which is synonymous of a true, emotional song about love.

8.    I Found Out - Pigeon Detectives

Indie Rock; Hormonal teenagers with mixed emotions about everything. A short song, but they fit a lot in. It’s about the feeling of not being good enough for the person you love, which is classic of unrequited love, and I think it brilliant for this album as half way through it wakes you up in case you start to feel depressed.

9.    Creep - Radiohead

You're brought back down by this amazingly powerful and emotional song. This song is again completely different from the classic love song, yet has just as good of a message. The sound is intense, just like the lyrics and the singing and the subject is again about the feeling of being unworthy. Also, slightly about stalking, but that's what love it about, right?

10. Sleepless - Until June

I'm mad about this song and this band. They are unknown, yet brilliant. This is sort of a classic song about love, and is something which a majority of people will be able to relate to: Not being able to sleep because you can't stop thinking about that one person and is also about the feelings of love. I think this song has a great sound, and for me at least, evokes emotions unlike any other song.

11. Shiver - Coldplay

Being in unrequited love can be depressing, and you cannot have an album of depressing songs without including Coldplay's dull and depressing sound. This song is good for that, and this song is also good for the message conveyed: wanting to change to get what you want. I like this song though, and again you can tell the emotion in the song.

12. Look Away - Chicago

The video for this is odd, but it matches the era which it comes from. Chicago are another classic rock band which are known for their big love ballads. This song covers the thought of the one you love (in this case, an ex) having another lover, and the intense feelings which this makes the unloved person feel, and forced to cover them up. Also, it has that classic key change towards the end.

13. Can't Fight This Feeling - REO Speedwagon

Another of the classic love songs on this album, and it might also make you want to buy yoghurt after a recent advertising campaign. The message is one classic of unrequited love, and feeling closer to that one person, who doesn't feel the same for you and also covers the mental turmoil caused to you. It's also filled with many metaphors, such as candles and ships.

14. Over And Out - Newton Faulkner

I don't particularly like him, and I think he has chosen an awful piano sound for the verses, but the power of the chorus and the general lyrics of the song are what make me like this song and made me put it in. Also, in the video, he hasn't quite figured the complexities of creating a hologram, but maybe I'm being too critical. Just listen to the lyrics of the song, enjoy them and relate to them. Overall, it's good.

15. My Never - Blue October

This, and the following few songs, are slow and depressing, so get over it. This song has some beautiful lyrics I think, and the emotion is just flowing out of the singers’ voice. There isn't a lot to say about it, just listen to it and let the lyrics and the sounds of the song consume you.

16. If You're Not The One - Daniel Beddingfield

I was in two minds about including this song. I mean, it's far too obvious and overused in these scenarios, but I've not actually heard it for a while, and I don't expect you have either, so here it is. You all know the message of this unrequited love song (I think it's rather sweet though), so just listen to it. If it's too 'popish' for you, then skip it.

17. You're Beautiful - James Blunt

Another edition to the 'obvious', 'classic' and 'overused' categories, but I think it's actually a rather good song. I'm not one of these people that get annoyed by his voice. Again, you know it, so there's no point me blabbering on, but it fits the message brilliantly with the lyrics '... But I'll never be with you'. Mind you, he does sound slightly like a stalker in the song.

18. Gotten - Slash featuring Adam Levine

This is another one of my very favourite tracks. You can interpret this song in many different ways, but I think it to be about the unrequited love for another and how the thoughts of them being with another mentally hurt you. A great song what with it having brilliant lyrics, a great guitarist and one of my favourite singers (FYI: He's from Maroon 5).

19. Congratulations - Blue October

Yes, another song by them. They must go through a lot of emotional turmoil. Anyway, this is another fantastic song which is really thought provoking and beautiful in its sound and meaning. This is a song about wanting to tell the person you love how you feel, but finding out it's too late. Again, just sit back, listen to the song, and let it touch your soul. Too cheesy?

20. I Can't Believe That You Would Fall For All The Crap In This Song - Sparks

Not strictly a song about the unrequited love for another, but it is an uplifting song which will wash you of the emotions you may have felt for the previous nineteen tracks. I think this is actually a song which should appear on every love song, and with it actually satirising boybands and their love songs, it works. A lot of people don't quite get them. Yes, they're weird and one of the blokes has moustache and yes, their dancing is a lot to be desired, but give them a chance to captivate you.

I really hope you have/you will enjoy my selection of songs of the Unrequited Love genre. I hope you feel fine, and get through Valentine's Day without using too many tissues (Your imagination can decide what you do with the said tissues...).

I hope you got a Valentine's Card and that you soon find love. If not, I’ll see you again next Valentine’s Day for another cynical blog.

Flee From Glee

Well, what can I say? Oh dear. America, when did you turn so gay? I don't mean in a homosexual way (however, that too is appropriate), I just mean, when did you become so happy and cheesy? Since you started bombing Iraq and Afghanistan, your TV seems to have become brightly coloured, with merriment, young people and 'improvised' dancing. First we had that High School Musical, in which over-aged actors and actresses play young teenagers who play basketball in between dancing, singing and lessons. That finished years ago. However, its soul lives on in a very slightly more mature way, in Glee.

Look at them, smiling. You wait until they get mentally crushed by real life!

Glee. Now this is pretty much the same format, but they apparently tackle more adult situations. I don't know what they could be. Maybe in a later episode, they sing the hits of Gary Glitter, and a few of them get sexually assaulted by their teacher. Maybe in a later episode they sing Gangsta Rap and a crazed American screams into the Glee Club and shoots them all in their gormless faces before turned the shotgun on himself after a 5 hour standoff with the police. Maybe they will have a Nirvana special, and the guy in the wheelchair gets bullied, causing him to hang himself. During Madonna week, did one of the blonde girls sing 'Papa Don't Preach' after finding out she was pregnant after a one night fling? I don't know, I didn't watch it, but I don't suppose that happened.

The remnants of High School Musical can be found in other American shows too. Camp Rock and Hannah Montana to name two. Both have the same format as High School Musical. 'Actors' 'singing' for the entertainment of snot-nosed children who cannot tell the difference between creativity and liquidised puke being poured into their ears in the form of an electric guitar and a teenager covered in more make up than someone attacked by a boots beautician with a vengeance. It's not the fault of magazines that 10 year olds want to be slim and wished they were prettier, blame Miley Cyrus; who is essentially a pile of fur balls choked up by an adorable kitten, with raisins stuck on for facial expressions, and a fire damaged novelty card which shouts at you every time you open it as a singing voice.

Anyway, yes. Glee. I understand that it is equally just as cool to not like Glee as it is to like Glee. If you are unaware and apathetic, then I am jealous of you and your better quality of life. If you've ever sat on your sofa and thought 'I wonder what it would sound like if some American adolescents sung some of my favourite songs badly and tried to attach them loosely to a story line', or you're easily mesmerised by moving colours, then Glee is the show for you! Mind you, do you remember ITV's version called 'Britannia' which was on TV a few years ago? Well, in comparison, Glee is great; but that is a very small victory.

I mean, honestly. If you consider yourself to be a fan of music in any shape or form, you just wouldn't watch that show. It's musical suicide. They may as well have a tick list of great performers who they have murdered through their computer generated voices. Say what you like about High School Musical, and I have, but at least they sing new, original songs. If you're going to be rubbish, then don't take successful musicians down with you!

We're also supposed to empathise with these characters. I empathise more with violent dogs which have been out down after mauling the face off a toddler than I do with them. The characters seem very one dimensional. In fact, they are exactly what you expect from an American show with teenagers in them. I can tell all of that by barely paying any attention to one episode.

I was glancing my eyes through the TV listings, and all of a sudden the words 'Rock Horror Show' captured them. A repeated look indicated the words 'Glee' where also very close by. I had never watched an episode previously. I had heard songs. You find it hard to go through life without hearing their version of 'Don't Stop Believing'. I go to the Pantomime and they sing the song. They then expect me to actually clap along! Excuse me, but I didn't pay for that. I paid to see grown fools make idiots of themselves to the loose script of a fairy tale and for the chance to hark back to my childhood. Not to be told to clap along with a cheap version of what was already a perfectly good song.

I digress again. Glee. Rocky Horror Show. Right.

I thought I would give Glee a chance. They're performing songs from one of my favoured musicals. The Rocky Horror Show is obscure, random, mind-boggling, bewildering, fun, sexy and outlandish. Glee certainly made their mark on the original. It made for an interesting interpretation. Not good interesting though. I got very bored of the tediously slow 'plot' and pathetic attempts at romantic and intimate moments. Mind you, whatever I say, the singing isn't awful. I've heard worse singing and I expect it would be quite refreshing to listen to after a night of karaoke singers in some tiny pub. However, they're all miming, badly. Which then makes you suspicious that isn't there real singing voice you're listening too. One of them is either fantastically brilliant at singing in a voice completely different to his speaking voice, or there has been some manipulation. The former would indicate talent, so it must be the latter.

Then again, I do dislike anything popular. My retired Godmother watches Glee. She likes it. It comes to something when a retired woman who enjoys cricket and Cliff Richard, is more down with the popular television shows of the younger generation than her 18 year old Godson...

A lot of people watch Glee, and from the episode I've seen, I cannot fathom out why. It isn't for the story line. It isn't for the singing. It isn't for the acting. It isn't for the characters. It isn't for the dancing. It isn't even for the songs. If you like music, go to a charity shop, buy some CD's and discover some brand new artist with brand new songs to get excited about, instead of bad interpretations of good songs. Which therefore takes me back to the point of people watching it for the moving colours; or maybe they find something enjoyable in watching forced smiles prancing about on their screen for an hour.

We will never know.