Flee From Glee

Well, what can I say? Oh dear. America, when did you turn so gay? I don't mean in a homosexual way (however, that too is appropriate), I just mean, when did you become so happy and cheesy? Since you started bombing Iraq and Afghanistan, your TV seems to have become brightly coloured, with merriment, young people and 'improvised' dancing. First we had that High School Musical, in which over-aged actors and actresses play young teenagers who play basketball in between dancing, singing and lessons. That finished years ago. However, its soul lives on in a very slightly more mature way, in Glee.

Look at them, smiling. You wait until they get mentally crushed by real life!

Glee. Now this is pretty much the same format, but they apparently tackle more adult situations. I don't know what they could be. Maybe in a later episode, they sing the hits of Gary Glitter, and a few of them get sexually assaulted by their teacher. Maybe in a later episode they sing Gangsta Rap and a crazed American screams into the Glee Club and shoots them all in their gormless faces before turned the shotgun on himself after a 5 hour standoff with the police. Maybe they will have a Nirvana special, and the guy in the wheelchair gets bullied, causing him to hang himself. During Madonna week, did one of the blonde girls sing 'Papa Don't Preach' after finding out she was pregnant after a one night fling? I don't know, I didn't watch it, but I don't suppose that happened.

The remnants of High School Musical can be found in other American shows too. Camp Rock and Hannah Montana to name two. Both have the same format as High School Musical. 'Actors' 'singing' for the entertainment of snot-nosed children who cannot tell the difference between creativity and liquidised puke being poured into their ears in the form of an electric guitar and a teenager covered in more make up than someone attacked by a boots beautician with a vengeance. It's not the fault of magazines that 10 year olds want to be slim and wished they were prettier, blame Miley Cyrus; who is essentially a pile of fur balls choked up by an adorable kitten, with raisins stuck on for facial expressions, and a fire damaged novelty card which shouts at you every time you open it as a singing voice.

Anyway, yes. Glee. I understand that it is equally just as cool to not like Glee as it is to like Glee. If you are unaware and apathetic, then I am jealous of you and your better quality of life. If you've ever sat on your sofa and thought 'I wonder what it would sound like if some American adolescents sung some of my favourite songs badly and tried to attach them loosely to a story line', or you're easily mesmerised by moving colours, then Glee is the show for you! Mind you, do you remember ITV's version called 'Britannia' which was on TV a few years ago? Well, in comparison, Glee is great; but that is a very small victory.

I mean, honestly. If you consider yourself to be a fan of music in any shape or form, you just wouldn't watch that show. It's musical suicide. They may as well have a tick list of great performers who they have murdered through their computer generated voices. Say what you like about High School Musical, and I have, but at least they sing new, original songs. If you're going to be rubbish, then don't take successful musicians down with you!

We're also supposed to empathise with these characters. I empathise more with violent dogs which have been out down after mauling the face off a toddler than I do with them. The characters seem very one dimensional. In fact, they are exactly what you expect from an American show with teenagers in them. I can tell all of that by barely paying any attention to one episode.

I was glancing my eyes through the TV listings, and all of a sudden the words 'Rock Horror Show' captured them. A repeated look indicated the words 'Glee' where also very close by. I had never watched an episode previously. I had heard songs. You find it hard to go through life without hearing their version of 'Don't Stop Believing'. I go to the Pantomime and they sing the song. They then expect me to actually clap along! Excuse me, but I didn't pay for that. I paid to see grown fools make idiots of themselves to the loose script of a fairy tale and for the chance to hark back to my childhood. Not to be told to clap along with a cheap version of what was already a perfectly good song.

I digress again. Glee. Rocky Horror Show. Right.

I thought I would give Glee a chance. They're performing songs from one of my favoured musicals. The Rocky Horror Show is obscure, random, mind-boggling, bewildering, fun, sexy and outlandish. Glee certainly made their mark on the original. It made for an interesting interpretation. Not good interesting though. I got very bored of the tediously slow 'plot' and pathetic attempts at romantic and intimate moments. Mind you, whatever I say, the singing isn't awful. I've heard worse singing and I expect it would be quite refreshing to listen to after a night of karaoke singers in some tiny pub. However, they're all miming, badly. Which then makes you suspicious that isn't there real singing voice you're listening too. One of them is either fantastically brilliant at singing in a voice completely different to his speaking voice, or there has been some manipulation. The former would indicate talent, so it must be the latter.

Then again, I do dislike anything popular. My retired Godmother watches Glee. She likes it. It comes to something when a retired woman who enjoys cricket and Cliff Richard, is more down with the popular television shows of the younger generation than her 18 year old Godson...

A lot of people watch Glee, and from the episode I've seen, I cannot fathom out why. It isn't for the story line. It isn't for the singing. It isn't for the acting. It isn't for the characters. It isn't for the dancing. It isn't even for the songs. If you like music, go to a charity shop, buy some CD's and discover some brand new artist with brand new songs to get excited about, instead of bad interpretations of good songs. Which therefore takes me back to the point of people watching it for the moving colours; or maybe they find something enjoyable in watching forced smiles prancing about on their screen for an hour.

We will never know.