‘Z-lebrities’ In Need (of Sympathy)

Unless you are a tortoise who has come out of hibernation early, you are most probably aware of Jade Goody’s new reason to have the media spot light. The racism has blown away, and the perfume and finally dried up and meant men are now aloud to smell women again without catching some disease. As you are aware, she has ‘Cancer’.

Now you may be asking why I put ‘Cancer’ in apostrophes. It’s not because I’m implying she hasn’t got cancer, because that is out of taste, even for her, but maybe it’s being played up a bit to make it sound worse. The news today is that she is getting married on Sunday to her fiancée, which sounds very sweet – wanting to spend the rest of her (short) life with him; until you find out she is selling the pictures to a magazine for a lot of money. I don’t remember the amount, mainly because I don’t care.

So, she is getting no sympathy from me. She is no different to the thousands, probably millions of people who are diagnosed with cancer, which is terminal. So why should she be treated any different, just because she was on Big Brother in 2002. I’m not trying to make light of the situation, I just find it annoying that she gets all this attention from us because she has cancer, when there are many women with identical cases who don’t even get a mention in their local paper, let alone headline news on the BBC news.

Although, I will say this, as a lot of people have, I do have sympathy for her children. Not only for having her as a mother, but also the fact they will lose their mother. No-one deserves that.

Then there is Michael Jackson. Who, last I heard, has MRSA, which is from his latest nose job. Now, if you think about it, he brought it on himself. He looks dead already, so would we really notice the difference? The MRSA is apparently flesh eating, which will mean his eerily white skin will be gone. Although I’m sure he’ll make sure he gets it back.

It’s times like this when you think that there is a God(s). He/She has finally had enough of people changing the way they look and being total bitches. So he is getting his revenge, in what my Nan would say, ‘God doesn’t pay his debts in money’. This does lead you to believe, if he did, the credit crunch would be solved, but anyway, I’m getting off the subject.

The question I want to know, and I’m sure a lot of you want to know; What colour is Michael Jackson's penis? Black or White?
Or actually, does he even have a penis?