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Adverts have a lot of influence on our every day behaviour. They can change the way we talk, make us perform little squeak noises, give us topics of conversation, and not to mention make us buy over-priced goods we don’t need. It now almost seems like we have started watching television programs in between watching a series of 30 second dramas which have the ability to invoke emotion in viewers. It's about time someone released a television channel that showed nothing but adverts day and night… Someone has created a website, tellyAds, which has archives of adverts, with their slogan actually being 'TV Without The Boring Bits: The Programmes'. A channel isn't far away, surely.

BT is quite good at turning their adverts into a mini drama series, what with Kris Marshall endlessly talking about wireless broadband for years. Now, they have three University students, in which one man tries to use Broadband to get his end away, so to speak. Somehow, this sells their multitude of services they offer.

Another recent drama in adverts is the GoCompare adverts. Somehow, having Sue Barker undertaking in terrorism to kill a fat opera singer, sells their Insurance Comparison services; it eludes me. I mean, what will happen next? Will we see some Russian Meerkats being run over by a tank, in which we hear a solitary squeak as it goes over the head of Aleksandr, and a squirt of blood? To be honest, I find the new GoCompare advert more annoying because it is constantly on, and it makes no sense as to why Sue Barker is doing it. Also, they only have Gio Compario (The name of the character did you know?) to thank for their success, so doing a 'Saving The Nation' campaign seems a bit like a cop-out…

I'd like to what all the foreigners coming to the UK for the Olympics, will think when they turn on the television and see a singing Welshman being subjected to the Bazooka fire by that woman presenting some the Olympic coverage. However, the Olympics are producing some very peculiar adverts anyway. The oddest one, in my opinion, is that Tampex is the official Tampon of the Olympics. Official Tampon? They have paid thousands of pounds to the Olympic brand, to be able to say that they are 'The Official Tampon for the Olympics'. I mean, how trivial do the sponsorship deals go? Are there official nail clippers for the Olympics? Or maybe an official Porn provider?  Or how about an official Insurance Comparison website to the Olympics?

Thanks to advertising and sponsorship, the 'Boris Bikes' in London, which are all sponsored by Barclays, as Jenny Jones, who was the Green Party Mayoral candidate, said  that people wouldstill not be able to use the bikes at the Olympic Park because Barclays"is not a tier-one sponsor of the Olympics" and Lloyds TSB are. Now, if that is the case and they are being that strict, then surely people who don't have a Panasonic camera (the Official Digital Camera provider of the Olympics) are not allowed to take pictures. For example, McDonalds are the official Fast-Food provider of the Olympics, so does that mean people eating a KFC will have to stand 100 metres outside the gates and finish their bucket before being allowed into the park? What you've not washed your hair with Head and Shoulder, the Official Shampoo of the Olympics? Will you be ordered to wash your hair with it, otherwise no admittance?  It begs the question of whether the Army should actually be allowed in the park themselves as they're not the Official Security provider of the Olympics; G4S are.

All brands are quick to use major sporting events to sell their products. I remember in 2010 in the run-up to the Football World Cup, that Curry's were pushing their 3D televisions, and praising how good football would look in 3D; carefully forgetting that at that time, there were no 3D television channels in the UK, with only very few people being able to actually watch the matchesin 3D worldwide.

Anyway, I seem to have drifted off topic somewhat. Adverts!

People are very impressionable, especially the dumb and young, so they copy what other people do, as well as what they see on television. Now, young people are using words such as 'literally' and 'epic' completely out of context, thanks to them seeing the people they look up to, using them incorrectly. So, when an advert says 'Confused.com', everyone says it when they say they're confused - as if changing their mental state into a website address, simplifies the situation… And now, it has become somewhat of the modern equivalent to Cockney rhyming slang, just easier to decipher. I now hear and see people saying that they Confused.com, Angry.com, are feeling Awkward.com and even simply Happy.com and Sad.com, but I never see anyone say IAmAMoron.net…

 As for all of the Boots adverts, they are so female based, that they might as well rename the shop 'Boobs'. At Mother's Day, they buy themselves expensive presents which they hide from their husband. In the Winter, they keep going through their flu's while the men lay in bed and sulk, and currently they want to go on a nudist beach just because they've 'buffed' themselves and brought a pubic trimmer. However, they don't show a woman chock-slamming a male shop assistant because they've run out of the Official Olympic provider of Tampons. Boot appeal to every other female stereotype, the only one left is that women get moody during their 'time of the month'.

There are only three adverts on TV that I like watching. One is the Hank Marvin Matteson's advert, mostly for the music and hair; the second being the Virgin Media ones with David Tennant, which are very clever, and now Stephen Fry; with the third being the cute little dancing Flame on the EDF energy advert. I was even tempted to buy one when I walked into a shop saw the animatronic boggier. The trouble is, now that EDF Energy are the Official Energy provider of the Olympics, their adverts have unfortunately caught the bug...