So,
I take this opportunity to allow any would-be trolls to press the close button
on your browser - thank you.
Have
they gone? Great. I often think they should put a similar announcement over the
speakers on trains and planes, asking any would-be terrorists to kindly vacate.
Anyway,
on with the show! Another year has passed, and enclosed in it has been many
terrible things that mankind wishes to forget, like Margret Thatcher, the
Woolwich terrorist attack, and sitcom failure on BBC1: The Wright Way. However,
many great things have happened. A baby was born, Andy Murray won Wimbledon,
and we found out that horse meat doesn't taste too bad. As well as that, this
year I wrote my 200th post for this blog… In fact, this is that
200th post.
Wow…
What. A. Year.
Most
Annoying Song of the Year: This year, this award goes to the song which gets
stuck in my head, just like a piece of beef between my teeth. I try everything,
but I just cannot get it out. Ylvis - The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?),
is an inaccurate song, which is accompanied by an obnoxious music video, and
reminds me of a time when The Crazy Frog ruled the airwaves. The Norwegian
comedy act clearly knew what they were doing. Now, sing along with me:
"Ning ning ning ning ning ning ning…"
Best
Song of the Year: Surprisingly, this doesn't go to One Direction's
inaptly-named song Best Song Ever. It is in fact harder to decide, what with
most of my best musical discoveries being from other years. That said, OneRepublic
- Counting Stars, is a song I almost-always sing along too, and thus, walks
away with the prize.
Over-played
Song of the Year: Back in March, I would have declared Pink - Just Give Me A
Reason featuring Nate Ruess to be an early winner of Best Song... However,
having heard it again and again and again and again and again… and again, I
hate it. Thus, it wins this award instead.
Album
of the Year: Again, due to enjoying older music more, this has a surprise
winner. However, I cannot fault it. The album puts a smile on my face, and has
been my album of choice when commuting in London. So, for anyone in London who
saw a grinning idiot on the DLR on a Friday morning, it was probably me
listening to ex-Westlife singer Shane Filan - You and Me.
Find
of the Year: Because I have spent so much of this year catching up on music I
have missed from previous years, it felt right to make up an award just so I
could give it to Sara Bereilles - Kaleidoscope Heart from 2010. I
thought it a fantabulous album that clearly didn't get the recognition it
deserved.
Most
Uncomfortable Music Video of the Year: This has been a hard one to pick. Runner
up to this award is Miley Cyrus swinging on a wrecking ball, wearing no clothes
and licking a blow-up hammer; it's like watching someone's mental breakdown.
Regardless, the award goes to Robin Thicke - Blurred Lines. Not only
because it uses an unnecessary amount of hashtags (frankly, one is unnecessary
in my opinion), but even as a pervy man, I found the unorthodox amount of naked
women disgusting and pointless.
TV/Film
Drama
of the Year: Everyone was raving about it, including me. Everyone was comparing
notes with everyone else about who they suspected the killer to be, including me. Broadchurch
has to be the biggest success on TV this year, and is a great competitor
to the likes of those popular drama imports I haven't watched.
Series
of the Year: Doctor Who has won it every year previous, so why should
this year be an exception? It's the Ant & Dec of this award. The special
episode in November was amazing, if only because it contained John Hurt, and
will be remembered as one of the greatest episodes. However, the Christmas
special will not. Is it just me that thought it disappointing exit for Matt
Smith? But long-live Capaldi and his eyes!
TV
Newcomer of the Year: Who would have thought a show where you watching other
people watching TV would be so brilliant. Gogglebox is a marvellous and
intriguing thing. It is essentially Twitter on television, and sits perfectly
in a era where everyone is a reviewer. It's a non-scripted version of TV Burp.
It can be funny, heart-warming, romantic, and, most importantly, real people
and real lives. The gay couple are my favourite; 'Hitler was born with all this
teeth’ said one. ‘The dirty evil bastard’ said the other, deadpan.
Comedy
Disappointment of the Year: I was ready for it to be amazing, and I refused to
believe otherwise the first week. I loved The Thin Blue Line, and this was to be
its long-awaited replacement. Same writer and similar cast. Yet, Ben Elton
really flopped with The Wright Way, with an identical story and jokes
each week, and over-use of stereotypes. It was like he wasn't even trying!
Comedy
of the Year: Not only does this win because one of the main characters is
called Stuart, but it also wins because it contains one of the best casts of
any sitcom, ever, and it is thankfully funny. A lot of sitcoms these days
forget to be funny. Regardless, Vicious on ITV has been a treat to
watch. Of course, it suffers from overacting from Ian McKellen and Derek
Jacobi, but it is amazingly juxtaposed by the underacting of Marcia Warren.
Best
TV Theme Tune: 'Oh, Oh, it's the Kevin Eldon show, it's the Kevin Kevin Eldon
show, it's called It's Kevin...' It has been in my head since I first
heard it. Check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0167dbf
Film of the Year: Having seen a rich variety of films, I have chosen Rush as the ultimate best. A real-life story about the rivalry between James Hunt and Niki Lauda in Formula 1 in the late 70's. It is amazingly accurate, up to the detail of the Lauda's famous accident and injuries. It is heart-warming and deeply upsetting.
Film of the Year: Having seen a rich variety of films, I have chosen Rush as the ultimate best. A real-life story about the rivalry between James Hunt and Niki Lauda in Formula 1 in the late 70's. It is amazingly accurate, up to the detail of the Lauda's famous accident and injuries. It is heart-warming and deeply upsetting.
Children's
Film of the Year: This a toughie! I thoroughly enjoyed Wreck-It Ralph and
Despicable Me 2, and laughed the whole way through both. However, as a diehard
Pixar fan, it is hard to say anything but Monsters University, which is
also made me laugh the whole way through, as well as re-live my childhood.
Celebrity
Death
of the Year: In the past, this award has been given to people who contributed
very little to human existence, but still had a public presence. However, this
year has many 'worthwhile' candidates. Margret Thatcher closed London for her
funeral, and sparked a real debate in her absence. Much loved people like
Richard Griffiths and Mel Smith left us. However, Nelson Mandela wins
the prize. I suspect media organisation have kept his obituary close to hand
over the past few years, but he finally went this year, and stole the TV
schedules world-wide for the week. And in his bringing together of world leaders,
created a historic moment in world history - THAT selfie…
'Who
Cares' of the Year: This goes to Tom Daley for announcing in a YouTube
video that he has a boyfriend. However, it is perhaps not him who deserves this
award, but the media for turning it into a news story, and making everyone
praise his bravery. I feel it is now people making these stories a big deal
which is detrimental to other people coming out, and no longer a perceived
stigma.
Celebrity
Baby Name of the Year: This has to go to Kanye West for turning the life of his
first born into one big joke, by naming her North West...
Journalism
Trial
of the Year: The Current Trial into Phone Hacking… Anything that could
lead to Rebecca Brooks going to jail, is a winner for me.
Inaccuracy
of the Year: In recent weeks, we learned about the disturbing habits of Lost
Prophets band member Ian Watkins. Unfortunately, he isn't the only Ian
Watkins on the planet, and as a result, Steps band member H, has had his
picture on various news sites, being associated with it and himself being the
subject of abuse online.
News
Coverage of the Year: There has been a lot of big news stories this year, and
all covered in great depth by most of the big news organisations. However, I
feel the murder of Drummer Lee Rigby in Woolwich is perhaps the most
shocking, and was covered with the appropriate tone and respect. Perhaps I feel
a greater affinity because I was just a 10 minute walk away when it happened,
but I think all news outlets done their job brilliantly over the following
days.
Politics
Personal
Invasion of a Politician's Personal Space of the Year: The photographer and
Chris Huhne is a personal favourite:
Bandwagon
of the Year: Every politician has been quick to shake their heads in
disapproval at the energy firms who have been raising their prices.
However, they have failed to point out the reason for this predicament: They
have failed at building new power stations to meet the increasing demand. MP's
have been shutting down the old, dirty coal power stations, and old nuclear
power stations, but have not build any new ones for over 20 years. Thus, energy
is more expensive because it comes from the far reaches of the world.
Hypocritical politicians; who'd have thought it.
Political
Gaffe of the Year: Well, UKIP MEP Godfrey Bloom is just one big walking
gaffe. This year he has called women 'sluts', complained about the amount of
money being sent to 'bongo bongo land' in foreign aid, claimed women are more
interesting in making beds than business, and decided feminism was created by
'shrill, bored, middle class women'…
Meal
of the Year: This goes to George Osborne with his failed attempt to look
like a man of the people, and show we're all in it together, by tweeting
himself eating a takeaway:
General
Baby
of the Year: As I predicted last year, Kate Middleton gave birth, and the birth
of said child was celebrated beyond belief. I'm surprised we haven't marked the
birth of Prince George Alexander Louis, with a bank holiday.
Tumblr Post of the Year: Benedict Cumberbatch Hates Liquids.
I found this while a man fixed a boiler, and I laughed embarrassingly loud.
Check it out here: http://t.co/kJrdC7FCAx
Thing I Don't Understand of the Year: When I first heard of
Twerking, I honestly thought it was a term to describe being a berk on Twitter.
Turns out it's the sort of dance Grannies do when they've had a few too many.
However, it goes to the Harlem Shake, which a sudden swarm of dancers,
and not an earthquake in a New York neighbourhood.
If you're still here, then it is at this point where I say thank
you for coming, but ask you to kindly vacate the area. The ceremony has
finished for another year. The winners don't even know they've won, and the
losers don't care, but at least I have finally had the chance to vent my apparently
un-cared for opinions.
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