Katie Hopkins Eats The Souls Of Disabled Children

I figured that Katie Hopkins wouldn't mind me writing that about her. It might even give her an idea for her next topic to be outraged on. You see, her diet actually consists of outrage directed at her. She is a monster who feeds on incandescent fury, and it makes her grow bigger, stronger and more opinionated, until one day she will defeat Holly Willoughby.

The media attention surrounding her has grown since the start of 2013, but particularly in the past few weeks. She is arguably one of the most famous Apprentices to come out of the show after causing much controversy and finally quitting the show. Since then, she's not really had a proper job, as far as I can see from Googling her name. Her career highlights include going into the I'm A Celebrity jungle, appearing on Question Time, appearing on This Morning, taking Alan Sugar to court and having her name trend on Twitter.

At present, she is currently riding a wave of media criticism. However, she is just one of many 'celebrities' who hold outrageous opinions, who, unlike most of mankind, seem unable to keep them to themselves; or at most debate around a table at a dinner party. She is part of a rare breed of people who go on TV to vent such opinions, or write them down for people splutter over when they read the newspaper over breakfast.

This breed includes people such as Samantha Brick (a woman who stole the sperm of a man in a hopeless attempt to have a baby, and thinks she is hated by women because of her beauty), Richard Littlejohn (who appears to have a vendetta against everyone who is not a straight-forward heterosexual) and Jan Moir (who proclaimed to know the "sleazy" truth behind the death of homosexual Stephen Gately). However, I would like to include people like Jade Goody in this list of people, as she too was someone who held opinions shared by a minority, but still made a living by spreading controversy like a tyrannical fairy godmother.

This breed of semi-famous human enjoy irregular, fleeting moments in the public sphere. They write an article or appear on the DFS-supplied, This Morning sofa, and they know that saying something shocking will give them publicity. Katie Hopkins is her own publicist (she does have plenty of free time after all), so when she saw her name trending on Twitter because of the fury she created through her name snobbery, you can't blame her for thinking that is the way to easy fame.

Her appearance on This Morning will be one of the most memorable televisual delights on 2013, where she revealed how she will not let her children become friends with others who have names such a Tyler or Charmaine. The YouTube clip went viral, her name trended on Twitter for hours, and people were discussing the issue for the rest of the week. She was successful.

Then she took to Twitter to state that 'Ginger babies. Like a baby. Just so much harder to love.' She then went to OK Magazine to further confirm that there is nothing worse than a ginger child. She then told The Sun that she would never hire a fat person because 'They look lazy', which continues on from a previous This Morning rant about how 'big is not beautiful'.

As a result, she has been branded in the media and online as being 'vile' and 'ignorant'. It is almost as if she is being sponsored to be an overly-opinionated woman. Surely next she will have a book out and appear on Celebrity Big Brother; just like Jade Goody. We moan about trolls on the Internet, but surely she is just like them, but with a somehow more acceptable platform.

She is not going to just disappear however. She is like a fire; the more oxygen we give her, the bigger she will grow. Actually, maybe that's not a good comparison. I'm not suggesting we take oxygen away from her; that's murder. She is more like a petulant, annoying child. She is only doing it for the attention, and because we keep giving her what she wants, she carries on doing it for the same reaction.

Well, I suggest we just ignore. Then act blasé when we hear her voice complaining that she won't talk to people who live within a 5 mile radius of an Aldi. Or be unresponsive when she  reveals in her book that her first question to the midwife when her daughter was born was 'whether or not she looked like the sort of girl who would bring home a black boyfriend'. Or something equally moronic. Maybe then she will stop being booked to appear on television.

However, before I end, I wish to admit that I share her name snobbery. Whenever I hear of a child being named 'Katie', I will think of them as being a loathsome, primitive person.

And here is that famous This Morning rant about children with common names: