Miracle Day Dragged On For Ten Weeks

The American bastardisation of what could have ended up as a British drama classic if left be, has come to the end of its first series as a coalition between two sides of the Atlantic Ocean. My initial reaction, as I stated in my blog "Americanised; Synonyms: Bastardised", which was written three episodes into the series, was not a positive one. I thought the series was slow to start and felt it had been somewhat ruined and therefore, disappointed with the whole thing. I hoped that it would pick up with excitement and the usual Torchwood charm which previous fans loved, but were my hopes fulfilled?

Yes and no. Some episodes were fast paced and exciting, and others, continued to be slow and rather boring. Some episodes were created to purely create a back story, or to create an emotional connection with a new or departing character. Some episodes seemed to be there purely as an afterthought to bridge a gap. However, there were the odd episodes that managed to grip you tightly by the attention strings and not let you go until the credits began to roll. The reason for this inconsistency seems to be because different writers wrote different episodes. Although top-guy Russell T. Davies wrote the series, he actually only wrote the opening and closing episodes for the series.

One of the major problems with the series was the characters. Captain Jack Harkness (John Barrowman) is undoubtedly the main character of Torchwood, and has been from day one. Without that character in the story, it cannot work. Jack has not had the role in this latest series that he should have had. He has been put second behind new American characters. The writers have assumed that we care about these new American members, so attach personal storylines and tragedies to them. These don't really work purely because we have not had time to get to know them. The character of Gwen has been somewhat underestimated this series too, with her not being used to her full potential, and only a handful of times does she seem to fully be the strong, independent character who we knew in the previous series. She still has those personal stories, which are there to help the audience relate to the consequences of Miracle Day however, but her strong character is under minded as a result.

Another reoccurring character who I'm not sure if we were supposed to despise or sympathise was Oswald Danes; a convicted felon who had been given the death penalty for murdering a young woman, but had survived. First we hated him. He was taking advantage of miracle day. Then he got shafted by the system that was using him, and he regularly got beaten up for no reason. Then he became selfish again and blackmailing people. Then be became a hero, before showing his true colours before finally dying. I have no idea what the writers’ purpose for that character was, and therefore, far too confusing.

We only have one episode out of the ten, which I feel felt like an original Torchwood episode. That was episode 7: "Immortal Sins". It was by far my favourite episode. The episode consisted of flashbacks of Jack's life, and  whilst in the present; he is being taken hostage by Gwen. The episode contains the only contact we have with an alien in the entire series. It is the only episode that seems to actually fully except that Jack is gay, and takes full advantage of that. Those are the four ingredients to a great, original Torchwood episode: Jack, Gwen, Aliens and outlandish gay scenes, and guns if you wish to garnish it off with a fifth ingredient. Davies seems to have completely sold out on those ingredients, which he could once put together brilliantly, just so he can have larger popularity state-side and have more money to play with.

The series itself has been over stretched too, which has completely weakened the series storyline. If we hark back to the previous series of Torchwood: Children of Earth, the storyline was squeezed to just five episodes. This series was stretched to 10 episodes, and as a result, some episodes have no purpose at all. Take the second episode where Jack and Gwen are being deported to the America in the plane flight. That flight lasted the entirety of the episode, with no relevant events actually occurring. All that footage could have been chucked in the bin, and it would have made no difference at all to the series. Those sorts of episodes, as a result, just seem to be irrelevant and an afterthought. Once again, you would have never had that with the older series of Torchwood. Every episode was exciting and gripping with an alien who promised to spark imagination and enjoyment, and maybe even an orgasm or two.

The lack of any aliens is the biggest crime for this series. Torchwood was once full of aliens. It was an extension of Doctor Who and all of their aliens, and sometimes they would overlap too. Now, they both seem like completely different shows which have nothing in common. They were once such close friends, but now, over time they have fallen apart and now keep very distant from each other. They still remember each other occasionally, but otherwise, contact between them is zilch. They have lost each other’s numbers and have no desire to get back into contact. Torchwood has changed into something different since the contact was lost, and that is shown in the lack of any alien action.

So how could they have improved the series? Aliens and more of Jack. Two simple requests, yet for some reason the writers decided to completely overlook them. I was so very disappointed in the ending when the event turned out to not be of a result of an extra-terrestrial being, but instead to be of ordinary, boring, bastard human beings. It was such a cop-out for Torchwood and Russell T. Davies.  It certainly is no longer Torchwood, but instead another spin-off going under the same alias.

Then take the series cliff-hanger. Rex, the black American, is now like Jack: indestructible and can now live forever. That is the biggest mistake of them all. The entire dynamic of the show has been altered. One of the great things about Jack is how individual he is from every other character on the show. Changing that, I think, will be the death of Torchwood. The next series could very well be its last, but maybe that isn't such a bad thing. It is painful watching Torchwood going through this painful change. Injecting American blood into something which is distinctively British through and through is causing vital organs to stop operating, and the entire body will slowly die, even if they do inject more of Jack's Miracle, life saving blood into it...

Americanised; Synonyms: Bastardised

What is Torchwood without people having group orgies with Aliens in the public toilets of Cardiff, before disintegrating into dust at the point of orgasm? Well, it isn't Torchwood without that. So, what is this show that is currently airing on BBC 1 on a Thursday evening under the name of Torchwood? Well, from what I can deduce, the only recognisable metaphor that could be used to describe this series is to compare it to 'a wolf in sheep's clothing'. It LOOKS like Torchwood, but it isn't Torchwood. It has the two main characters that we recognise as being Torchwood. It has scenes filmed in Cardiff. It has jokes about Cardiff. It has a supernatural storyline which is very, very intriguing and well portrayed, as well as being written by Russell T. Davies. However, from then on, it fails to be anything like the Torchwood that we British fans loved.

This program then, which is hiding under the alias of Torchwood, is brilliant, which makes it terrible. Doesn't make sense huh? Well, I shall explain my problem. Torchwood was originally this brilliant piece of British Drama, which was uniquely British with its humour, captivating (if not eccentric) stories and great characters. This Torchwood 'season' is a co-production between Britain and America. Torchwood now loses everything that was so unique about it when it was set purely in Cardiff. The British humour is sacrificed for the American audience, which is the main problem. However, the fact it is half American, means that the drama element of the program is great. The American's are creating the best quality programming at the moment by far, in all genres. How can their input in British programming be considered as a bad thing? It can't; but it is in Torchwood.

Still not getting me are you? Well, take this is an extreme example to illustrate my point. You can't all-of-a-sudden relocate Coronation Street to a French town and expect it to appeal to the same audience and remain just as popular. Torchwood worked because it was set in Cardiff. You can't all-of-a-sudden relocate Torchwood to America and expect it to appeal to the same audience and remain just as popular (however, viewing figures disprove me thus far).

I personally think that in this 'season' so far (three episodes in), they have focused far too much on building up characters and their own separate stories. The story has been heavily sacrificed as a result, as has the Torchwood feel. The first two episodes particularly were very slow in events actually happening, apart from the odd five minutes which end up being an anti-climax. I think the entirety of the second episode was completely pointless, and to me it just seems like it was a rushed afterthought. The idea seems weakly developed with pointless events thrown in, such as the drugging of Captain Jack, to provide false climax.

I will give credit where credit is due; the third episode was a lot better with it having a quicker pace, but still, there are just pointless interactions between characters which just do not need to happen and add absolutely nothing to the story. They may as well show a still image of the words 'Torchwood' for five minutes every so often. The third episode also had a slight original Torchwood feel to it, with some of the characters having sex. This makes me sound like a homosexual pervert, but as soon as there was a scene with Captain Jack about to have gay sex, I felt that just MAYBE, it was about to feel like Torchwood again. However, then there were some more pointless exchanges with some pointless American actors and it was ruined.

It's the American element of the show that I absolutely hate. Well, hate is a strong word. The Sci-fi element of the show has diminished, with it just being an obscure storyline, just like the American's 'The Event'; it's nothing but a drama about a fictional event. I want supernatural events and aliens, like the first three series of Torchwood. If this 'Miracle Day' doesn't end up being caused by an intergalactic being, I will be very unhappy. Torchwood and Russell T. Davies have sold out, just so they can have more money, and if they sacrifice the original roots of being a Doctor Who spin-off, for bigger, richer roots, then they would be the biggest sell-outs since Green Day went mainstream or when Nick Clegg had a lobotomy if favour of political power.

Anyway, maybe I'm being over critical too early. We're only three episodes into a 'season' of ten episodes. Incidentally, that's another reason for hating the Americanisation of Torchwood. They call it a season, but we Brits call it a series, so the American's ruined that too. Anyway, it might get more entertaining and it may not bother me so much as the SERIES goes on. Fingers crossed...

P.S. Both 'Americanisation' and 'Bastardisation' are spelt with S's, not Z's. It's called English, so therefore you should abide by the same rules as the English... Bloody Americans!

50 – There’s Something Disturbing About Children Chanting 'We Are Coming'

Welcome to my 50th blog, and the chosen subject for today is Torchwood. I have a habit of only doing blogs on things I dislike, people I'm not keen on, the media and how it's run and finding the negative points in human nature, such as love. I thought, for a bit of a change, this cynic would do a blog on something I did rather like, thus why Torchwood is the chosen subject.

Last week Torchwood did a week long story line for Series 3. Monday's episode was entitled 'Children of Earth - Day One', Tuesday's episode was 'Children of Earth - Day Two' and so on, until Friday with 'Children of Earth - Day 5' being the finale. I really wanted the voice of the Geordie guy who does the Big Brother voiceover, or Marcus as his mother named him, to come on say the title of each episode. That would have made me chuckle, but he didn't so I had to do an impression of him saying that myself, everyday.

The story line was, to put it simply, the children of Earth being controlled by drug-dealing aliens in an attempt to scare the world into giving them 10% of the child population of Earth in return for not killing everyone and Captain Jack Harkness being killed and resurrected many a time. This is his party trick really, someone will shoot him, and then he'll come back to life. Essentially his life would be a real-life version of Grand Theft Auto, if he was real, which he isn't.

I actually don't like this. I think everyone who watches Torchwood or Doctor Who, knows that Jack can't be permanently killed, and he will always come back to life, so we don't need to keep having it demonstrated to us. I didn't count how many time he was killed last week, and I wish I had, because to me, it seems that the writers are not the most imaginative bunch; keep using the same bit time and time again. They would kill him off for the suspense of 'Would he come back to life?' which we all knew he would. It just gets boring. It ended up very similar to this - "Oh Jack's Dead, Alive again, he's dead again, no wait, he's alive, oops he's died again - clumsy fellow, what a surprise, alive again" and so on and so forth.

Anyway, forgetting that, I did actually thoroughly enjoy the short but sweet series. The story line was actually very good, apart from the occasional boring bit which just dragged on for too long. The series also gave the viewers a chance to practice a whole range of emotions from disgust to sadness and confusion to shitting ourselves. Pretty much everyone can agree that the scenes in day two, after Jack had been blown apart and his body started to grow back, was rather shockingly, confusingly disgusting.
After that the viewing girls were giving a treat as some would call it, and got to see his penis, if only for a few seconds. Every woman with Sky+ would surely have used it.

I think everyone can also conclude that the finale was a very emotionally based episode, and I'm not afraid to admit, I actually got a bit tearful. For me, I think the most emotional bit was when John Frobisher (The Secretary to the Home Office) got a gun and shot his family then himself, to stop them from having to suffer being taken by these Aliens. Other emotional bits in the series finale were when the army were taking the kids and the parents screaming, as well as when Jack's Grandson died, as a result of Jack saving the world again.
That's right, in this series; we also found out that Jack had a daughter and also a Grandson, just to make the series that bit more emotional. And as if that wasn't enough, Ianto dies in the arms of Jack, before Jack dies again that is, but don't worry, he did come back to life, but Ianto didn't.

There really wasn't much Alien action in those five episodes, which was a bit of let down really. For a sci-fi drama, there really wasn't. A lot of emotion, that makes it a drama yes, but otherwise it was just a lot of people sitting around tables talking, talking to silhouette of an Alien in a glass container, people with Welsh accents running and Jack dying. You see, I find it really hard to like anything on TV these days because I'm just too cynical about everything. I read too much into everything, and I'm very good at 'Knit-picking'; picking holes in everything.

I even found a continuity error, albeit a small one, but towards the end of episode 3, Mr Dekker, or the guy who was always wearing the brown coat as he may be more commonly known, was in one camera angle counting on his hands, but in another angle, he wasn't.

It seems the credit crunch has hit the big BBC dramas. With Doctor Who being put down to 3 episodes this year and Torchwood being put down to 5, without a huge amount of special effects. That's why it's been more emotion based rather than the normal action-packed episodes where they run around shooting Aliens or having sex with them as the previous 2 series have been. If you think about it that way, it was a bit of a cheapskate really, but hey, nether-the-less, it wasn't too bad.

That was blog 50 then m’lovelys, but blog 51 shall come soon.
Toodles m’dearys
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