Sinking Britain

These are scary times for those of us who cannot swim, or indeed float. Luckily for me though, I live in a third floor flat on the bank of the Thames. I'm safe in the knowledge that if my feet get wet, we're probably in the midst of water-based apocalypse. I would have to resort to thumbing for a lift from any passing arks.

Two years ago we were in the middle of a roasting spring, with the threat of draught hanging over our parched heads. In a bid to overcome the hosepipe ban, my Grandad constructed a series of aqueducts with drainpipes. Plastic pipes are suspended across the garden, feeding from the roof into his fish pond and water butts. It doesn't seem to have stopped raining since.

The past few months have been particularly soggy. I don't think we have had a week since December were the Daily Mail's front page hasn't warned of floods hitting Britain; both the Bulgarian and water-based floods.

There has also been much debate over the causes of the recent storms to have affected Britain in recent weeks. Is it because we have allowed gay marriage, or because of man-made global warming? Do we believe a UKIP councillor, or a majority of the science community? These are tough questions we'll perhaps never know the answer to.

However, whatever the cause of these devastating events, people have lost their lives, homes and livelihoods. We have just come out of the wettest January for 250 years. Yet, there still seems to be no sign of let-up from the rain. The stubborn sky still continues on with its full-frontal rain assault on our heads.

This has resulted in political point scoring from all sides. All political party leaders have rushed, wellies in tow, to stand and look sad at a water-clogged playing field. Prime Minister David Cameron has promised money to individuals and businesses affected by the floods. In response, many have pointed out that he perhaps should not have cut the Environment Agency's budget in the first place.

Key political figureheads have also been quick to point the finger of blame. Eric Pickles blames the Environment Agency for not dredging the rivers. Others demanding that money should be diverted from foreign aid. I even heard one Conservative MP blaming the public for having driveways instead of gardens.

Luckily, David Cameron waded in and put a stop to blame-game to spread some British Blitz spirit: "It will be a long haul and it will require a stepped up national effort, with the whole country pulling together. Amidst all of this, as is so often the case, in the toughest of times we are seeing the best of Britain.”

Of course, the flooding has become a more serious issue for the Government, since it hit Conservative strongholds along the Thames. But one must be grateful for flood defences where they have existed. Namely, the Thames Barrier for at least managing to protect London. Over the past 31 winters since its completion, it has been closed 124 times. This winter so far, it has been shut 17 times.

One year of floods doesn't immediately mean global warming. However, if floods are to become a regular feature, then we should look towards the Dutch for help. With two thirds of the Netherlands being vulnerable to flooding, they have an extensive set of measures to protect the land. These range from dikes, dams, flood gates and controlled flooding of uninhabited areas.

They may not be pretty, but if we're going to continue to allow gay marriage, then perhaps this is our only answer.