Major Congestion Reported Getting Into SimCity

I have come up with another insult to sling around the playground: "Your Mumma's so fat, that she's slower than an EA Game Server". I can imagine it would be, and quite rightly so, followed by a chorus of "RINSED" by some teenagers, who also slap their fingers in appreciation.

This comes in light of recent events, in which people spent tens of pounds on a PC game, only to be told they couldn't play the game because too many people were playing the game. One might think that if you made 'X' number of games, you would, in the end, expect 'X' amount of people to actually want to play the game. But I'm not an expert, so what do I know?

The game I am referring to is the new SimCity game, which enables people to create a virtual city. These are usually the same people who complain about how David Cameron and Nick Clegg have ruined this country, but take no active role in trying to make things better. However, they're quick to build police stations when rioting keeps breaking out in an area without considering cost, and raise taxes without a second thought when they need money so they have enough coins to build a landmark.

Understandably though, people have been quick to take to the Internet and complain on forums and leave one-star feedback on Amazon because they have spent £40 on a game, they cannot play. All because some 'clever' games design thought it would be a good idea to make sure you have to be connected to the Internet to play the game. Apparently this is to make a 'realistic, social experience', and NOT AT ALL to nosey at what players are up to. I mean, when has a global corporate company ever been known to do something as sneaky as that?

What people are not realising however, is that what they are actually experiencing is realistic city life. Players are facing delays when trying to enter a city because large numbers of people are all trying to do the same thing. That seems spot on to me. The other day a journey in London, which would normally take 20 minutes, took me over 45 minutes to complete because of large amounts of traffic.

One reason cited as being the cause of the issues, are that large amounts of people were playing the game, and liking it so much, that they didn't want to leave. Now, that is an issue which faces many major cities - overcrowding. For the same reasons, when I went to the SeaLife Aquarium in London last year, I had to wait over an hour in the queue. When you're sat on your sofa waiting for the game to load, there isn't some foreign child behind you kicking you in the ankle, because they have liberal parents who believe their little cherub could never do anything wrong. I know what I'd rather.

Also, just like the running of a real city, sanctions and restrictions are put upon them, which no-one likes but are necessary to get cities working. So, people have been logging into their city to find they cannot engage 'Cheetah Mode', which allows time to pass quicker. Now they'll realise that time doesn't just fly-by; life in a city is dreary and slow. Either way, it's more realistic than Godzilla attacks, like in past versions.

In arguing about how realistic the game actually is, a month ago I would have been tempted to say "When has there ever been a meteor attack on a city?" However, with recent events in Russia, that's not really a good argument. Mind you, perhaps a UFO will reportedly sweep in and stop the meteor from doing as much damage, because that would, and did, happen, according to idiots and Daily Mail readers.

I always find that SimCity isn't so much realistic, as it is idealistic. In SimCity you can put roads where you like, build houses and commercial space where you please, and then knock it down and start again whenever you fancy. In real city life, that could never happen. When a council cuts down nine trees, every person who has ever walked past it is willing to sign a petition to keep trees that are in ill-health. Imagine if homes were actually just being knocked down with no warning what-so-ever. No-one would want to live in that city.

Want to build some housing on a green field? Forget it! You have to put the plans in motion at least 5 years in advance, alter the plans to appease people, and then still receive verbal and written abuse from passionate residents. It'd be soul-crushing to actually be mayor of an actual city. How Boris Johnson continues to be, well, Boris Johnson, I will never know.