Book Review: Sh*t My Dad Says

I’m not a keen reader of book. For instance, last year I read none. The books I had read the previous year were actually compulsory for my English A-level. However, there has been a change for 2011. Maybe it’s something in the water, possibly the long, cold, harsh Winter has completely altered me, or probably because I’m finding the right books and have a lot of free time on my hands. Whatever the reason, I am currently on my third book of the year. The first one being a Charlie Brooker book I made an attempt at starting many years ago. The second one started life as a ‘Twitter Sensation’ before becoming a book and then an American sitcom, making it somewhat of an American institution.

This is called ‘Sh*t My Dad Says’, and as the title suggests, it has a hefty amount of swearing, so if your easily offended, this is not the book for you (mind you, nor are a majority of my blogs, so what are you doing here?). I had heard about this book long before buying it and even read the introduction on the Amazon website. Then, once confronted by the book in HMV, and a large amount of vouchers received for my birthday, I couldn’t resist purchasing it. The back of the book got me more intrigued by the book, and the following line from the blurb, I think, describes it perfectly. Better than what I will attempt to say anyway.

“More than a million people now follow Mr Halpern Senior’s philosophical gems every day on Twitter, and this book weaves a brilliantly funny, surprisingly touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his quotes.”

The author is pretty unknown, but Justin Halpern is a comedy writer for varying websites and such. On a whole, his writing is pretty talented and knows the secrets behind comedy and can get as much laughter out of a scenario as is possible. However, his use of metaphors seem to be too often and sometimes are very forced. It is like he is trying desperately hard to come across as talented. They sometimes seem somewhat pressurised. For those amongst you who are not Sherlock Holmes, Justin Halpern is the son, writing down his father’s brilliant quips.

“So there you go. Your mother thinks you’re handsome. This should be an exciting day for you.”

So, the book. It shows the father and son relationship between a loving, but very straight talking, opinionated scientist in nuclear medicine (the Dad), and a young boy/man going through the regular ordeals of a growing American boy. It’s very light-hearted, and is in great detail. The two main characters, and others, have been created brilliantly so you can imagine these interactions happening, and I think that takes skill to achieve.

“A three-year-old doesn’t have a license to act like an asshole.”

Each chapter follows particular scenarios which are memorable in the life of Justin, and how his Dad either reacted to, or was involved in them. It may not seem that great when described like this, but trust me, it bloody well is. The first chapter starts off being about how this book came about, and the events that led towards it. The author had quit his job and been dumped by his girlfriend, on the same day, which led to him seeking shelter with parents, essentially.

“All I ask is that you pick up your stuff so you don’t leave your bedroom looking like it was used for a gangbang. Also, sorry that your girlfriend dumped you.”

The following chapters describe events that happened while Justin grew up, in order from six years old to the writing of the book. Such events include attending a family wedding, failing maths, going to college and working in the kitchens at Hooters. Hilarity ensues in every chapter, I promise.

“You’re not a cigar guy… Well, the first reason that jumps out at me is that you hold it like you’re jerking off a mouse.”

I absolutely love the father, and is actually quite inspiring for an angry person like myself. How can you possibly not laugh at someone who says “Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn’t stand for shit. Big let down” or says “Hello… Fuck you” to a telemarketer. The book is absolutely filled with superb quotes like these, with there being two or three pages of odd remarks in between each chapter. These are a brilliant touch; with it is yet another way of filling the book with humour, and it really just makes the book look a lot larger than it is in reality.

“The baby will talk when he talks, relax. It ain’t like he knows the cure for cancer and just ain’t spitting it out.”

The book is 185 pages long, which is quite small in book terms anyway. The font is rather large; not much smaller than what you might find in a children’s book. It has a lot of chapters, but they’re relatively short with the longer ones reaching a peak of eleven pages. Then, between each chapter, you have two or three pages of quotes. This isn’t a book you take on holiday to read for days on the beach while catching some serious skin cancer, or you spend many weeks thinking deeply about. You could read and enjoy it on a long coach or plane journey to past the time with laughter, or do what I did, and read big chunks at a time over the course of a week. I still highly recommend this book to anyone who appreciates angry, straight-talking humour and can happily read page after page of the word ‘bullshit’.

“What are you doing with that rake?... No, that is not raking… What? Different styles of raking? No, there’s one style, and then there’s bullshit. Guess which one you’re doing.”

So, I recommend the book, but what about the sitcom?

Well, part created by Justin Halpern, it was produced for the American network CBS, and they, probably in an attempt at political correctness, called it ‘$#*! My Dad Says’. In the UK, it is currently being shown on the channel that is currently being called ‘Five*’. I have only watched one episode, and that was the opening episode. The following words will give you can understanding as to why I watched no more. The Dad is played by William Shatner.

“You’re going to run into jerk-offs, but remember, It’s not the size of the asshole you worry about, it’s how much shit comes out of it.”

I understand he is popular, but I have always thought that he does not suit comedy. I find his delivery of funny lines to very ‘wooden’ and it almost seems like he doesn’t get the joke he is saying. I personally think the TV adaption to be very poor, and I can’t be the only one to think so, otherwise it wouldn’t be buried away in schedules of what is a channel filled with bullshit in the UK. I hope Mr Halpern Senior gave a frank and more insulting opinion of the show, in his own unique, loving way.

“Son, you’re a good athlete, but I’ve seen what you call swimming. It looks like a slow kid on his knees trying to smash ants.”