Britton's Got Tarrent

Yes, it is the ITV show in which the former day-time television host kidnaps the primetime quiz-show favourite, and for his return wants her career back. Hang on, I think I may have got slightly confused. Britain's Got Talent, the ITV show in which a couple of Geordie presenters lark about behind a curtain while three television 'personalities' judge the 'talent' that the general public of 'Britain' have, in order to provide an 'entertaining' show. Actually, I think the former sounds much better now...

Okay, so I am three weeks late with this blog about Britain's Got Talent, but it goes to prove how dedicated I have been to my studies; which have now finally finished - for now. Anyway, due to it being a while ago, my memory slightly fails me, so I shall my best.

Let us start with the winners. A acrobatics group called Spelbound who consisted of numerous young boys and girls to numerous young men and women. They were okay, but I was not keen on them. Everyone else thought they were brilliantly talented and were more than worthy of winning the big spot at the Royal Albert Hall. I feel there is too much consistency with the whole show itself. First year - Paul Potts (not the evil dictator - that's a different spelling) the bad-toothed opera singer won. The second year, Diversity, a group of dancers won and now Spelbound, a group of people performing a routine won. That is two slightly similar acts in the past two years. We don't have a great deal of talent really do we?

My two favourites to win the competition this year were either Twist And Pulse, two male dancers who combined street dance and comedy, or Paul Burling who was an impressionist. They both got into the final, which is a first for the two acts I liked to make it to the final. It was a more diverse final though, with the obvious few dancers, the few singers, an impressionist, a dancing dog and a drummer.

Something (well, one of many factors) which I found very annoying about the live shows of Britain's Got Talent is all the camera angles. Now, imagine you are trying to watch people dance and every 5 seconds they change the camera angel so you miss bits of the dance. They do wide shots so you can see the audience, but you can barely see the act performing if you squint. The flying camera angles which go from one side of the studio to another are just as irritating. You are trying to watch something and you can't because the director believes it would be idiotic to have the same camera angel throughout the performance. You would not go and watch a school performance and spend the whole time running around the hall to get a variety of angels, so why do it when we're trying to watch a dog dance? I just found that utterly ridiculous.

I have also concluded that the show is just inefficient. The show is mainly just dancers and singers, with the occasional novelty act which will never win. Well, considering ITV already have a singing show called 'The X-Factor' which you may have heard of, it seems pointless putting singers on Britain's Got Talent. So, the first change would be moving all singers to the X-Factor auditions. The second change would be changing the name of the show to 'Britain's Got Dancers' because that is the main brunt of the good performances to be honest. Of course, now that you've turned this into a dancing show, ITV's 'Dancing On Ice' can be scrapped because you don't want to show too much dancing on one channel. Also, now that it has been turned into a dancing show, the novelty, useless acts can no longer be apart of the show. However, the solution for this is just sending all other applicants to either Brighton Pier or The Circus, and then ITV can replace 'You've Been Framed' with occasional footage from Brighton Pier and The Circus. Sorted!

What is next for Spelbound now that they won Britain's Got Talent? Not a lot I don't suppose once they have done their performance at The Royal Albert Hall. Paul Potts performed there, got his teeth sorted, released an album and now we have not heard of him since. Diversity done their performance infront of the Queen, one of them became a judge on a Sky talent show and the others are occasionally seen in adverts on the Telly. My suggestion to Spelbound is once they've done their royal performance; they should try and audition as the Hitler Youth in a stage show, because they would be perfect. If Hitler were alive today and he saw them performing on Britain's Got Talent, he would have been so happy.

A nice short(ish) blog to ease you back into my regular blogging. Next blog, unless I have a change of heart, will be about Doctor Who and whether I did enjoy it in the end.

P.S. I'm aware Keith Chegwin Tweeted 'Britton's Got Tarrent' a few weeks ago, but I thought it up before him, however, I am not claiming I was first person to ever think it up, I'm just saying I'm better than Keith Chegwin.