The Stuart Awards for 2008

Well, just to start off, I’m only doing this because I can, and no awards will be given to anyone, due to the credit crunch. That really would have changed the Oscars this year if they had said that.

So, I’ll start with music.
Most annoying song of the year has to be: Katy Perry’s I Kissed A Girl.I mean get over it. You kissed a girl, then you thought, that wasn’t too bad. The video to her next song ‘Hot and Cold’ is of her getting married to a guy, so we can work out from that, she is in fact bisexual.
Song of the year for me would be Coldplay’s Violet Hill. No particular reason, it’s just the song I’ve listened to the most this year.
Going by that same logic, my Album of the year is Guillemots with their album 'Red'. It has lots of great tracks on it, and different to a lot of music this year. I suggest you buy it.
My favourite song of the year, which was released many years ago, goes to 2 different bands. Until June with Sleepless, and Third Eye Blind with Blinded (When I See You). Neither of which I expect you have heard of, but have a listen if you can. Try YouTube.

Next to Film
Well no awards for guessing who this award goes to – Most annoying film of the year goes to High School Musical 3. For all the joy it has brought to millions of children, and teenagers who are obsessed with Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgins.
My favourite film of the year is a surprise. I’m giving it to ‘The Dark Knight’. Was a truly brilliant film, which I thought I wouldn’t like. Mainly I liked it for Heath Ledger’s turn as the Joker. I would have given it to ‘Wall-E’, but the fact is I enjoyed the little short film with the magician’s rabbit, which was on first, more.

Then there was TV
Sitcom of the year goes to ‘Outnumbered’ on BBC 1. Hilarious performances by Hugh Dennis and Clair Skinner, although out shinned by the child actors, with their genius spontaneity. Mainly though, they get it because the child actors aren’t acting, which gives it that edge of reality.
Overall British comedy show of the year could go anywhere. It could go to Harry Hill’s TV Burp, or to Have I Got News For You, or it could venture to The IT Crowd or numerous other places. Therefore, no-one’s getting it. They can all share!!
American Comedy of the year, has to go to The Big Bang Theory. I don’t know what it is about the show I like, I just find it rather funny. Also they get the award for theme tune of the year, thanks to Barenaked Ladies singing it.
Worst show of the year, like every year, goes to Big Brother. I watched absolutely none of it this year, yet it still annoys me beyond belief with all the hype that has to accompany it.
Reality show of the year goes to The Family, purely for the fact they live near Canterbury, and is the most fame we’re going to get, apart from the Archbishop of Canterbury moaning about something else on the news.
Reality show contestant of the year, undoubtedly goes to George Takei, for coming third in I’m A Celebrity... and of course having his voice!

So onto science awards now
Most pointless scientific discovery goes to the scientist who spoke to a few people who knew Hitler, and came to the conclusion that he did actually only have one ball. Then concluded this could be the reason for him being a bit annoyed with the world.
Scientific scaremongering of the year goes to those in Switzerland, who said they would throw 2 particles at each other, quite fast to see what would happen. Either they would create a black hole or find out what happened at the start of everything. I’ve not heard the results let.

General Awards
Comeback of the year could go to Boyzone for releasing two rather good songs, but instead I think the Cadbury’s Whisper deserves it. How very tasty they are, I’m talking about Whisper’s not Boyzone.
Most idiotic person in Britain of the year goes to no other person than Gordon Brown. Has he actually done anything right yet? No is the answer you’re looking for. How can he bail out all the banks with billions of pounds, but can’t spare any for failing businesses like Woolworths?
Country of the year surprisingly goes to America, for managing to get over racism, and voting a black president into the white house. Well done.
Worst summer of the year goes to this summer. The summer of 2008, for being one of the shortest I can remember. The 3 month season was squashed in a few weeks, and the rest was overcast or raining.

Well that is it for this year, come back next year for The Stuart Awards – 2009.
Have a good one.