Once upon a time in a street in Tottenham, London, a black man was shot under dubious circumstances by a Policeman who claimed to have been in danger. However, an IPCC investigation found evidence to disprove that, such as the bullet in the policeman's radio to be of police issue, and the victim’s gun to have not been fired. The friends and family, rather graciously, disagreed and wanted a real answer to the reason for the shooting. The big, hypocritical, media Ogres seemed to ignore this news event and saw no reason to bring attention to it, like they would have, for example, if a Policeman was shot in dubious circumstances by a black man. Then, on a lovely, quiet, summer's afternoon, the victim’s family were upset, and therefore set up a small vigil outside a Police Station in Tottenham.
Then the Morons invaded from across the London borough of Tottenham. Their invasion left much devastation. Police cars were vandalised and set alight. A bus had petrol bombs aimed at it. Shops were looted by these morons for their own personal gain and set about burning various other buildings; one which had survived a World wars. The Morons of Tottenham had invaded, and the News crews had swarmed in to film the burning devastation and make irrational comments. The Tottenham Morons stood behind the various presenters, talking on their phones and lurking about in an attempt to be considered famous by their other Moronic friends. The Moron's grew weary of the vain attempts at being a celebrity, so set about destroying passing cars, before setting upon the news crews and destroying thousands of pounds of equipment. The violence continued for hours, into the early morning hours of Sunday the 7th of August, and news channels speculated from their cosy studios, miles away from the violence, about how bad it was. The morons eventually went home to sleep in their grubby council flats, gathered around the light of social network websites, and their event pages.
Many people spent the following day, insisting that Tottenham was a lovely, happy community, in which the many different races lived together in one, harmonious family which have no problems or 'issues with the black, teenage community'; despite the evidence proving otherwise. The sun began to set, and the disease of Moronicitis [muh-ron-ik-tahy-tis] had spread through to other London boroughs such as Enfield, Islington and Oxford Circus. This violence was much stronger than the previous nights, with more buildings being pointlessly set alight and raided for the consumer goods. A Sony warehouse in Enfield was set ablaze for no reason other than to course as much destruction as possible, and apparently, make a statement about race quality and joblessness. This again continued late into the night, which lead to news channels sending out their helicopters in an attempt to film all huge fires from above, while the ground film crews tip-toed around the city to film the aftermath of rioting, instead of the actual swarm of Morons, ripping their way through toughened glass and metal shutters, and occasionally farting out fire bomb. The Morons eventually grew tired of the lines of ill-equipped and ill-trained police officers following them about, and went to their homes to sleep, in their brand new tracksuit which they had just looted.
The light of Monday morning shined through London, showing the amount of destruction which was left after the swarm of Morons had made their way through the various boroughs. While the Morons slept, the news announced that over 100 people had already been arrested, and that David Cameron was to cut short his holiday to return home, after seeing that Nick Clegg had clearly ballsed up being in charge of the country; much like getting a phone call from a neighbour, to tell you that the person you asked to feed your pets and water the plants, had in fact attacked everything with a flame thrower and hearing the screeching cat through the phone. More people went to the media and to social networking sites to give their own, unwanted opinion to decry how stupid every single teenager who currently exists is. FYI: I'm a teenager, and from my eloquence, you can decipher that I'm not exactly stupid.
The darkness of Monday night loomed, and the Morons woke up for yet another night of pointless violence, despite the news that the Prime Minister's return home was looming. They went on to cause even more, pointless, copycat destruction; still claiming to have a cause to be angry about. It became evident that Moronicitis had spread to both sides of the River Thames, to boroughs such as Lewisham, Woolwich, Peckham, East Ham, Hackney, Camden, Bethnal Green, and even Stratford. The news crews hurried around, again filming the aftermath of the swarms, and interviewing random, angry onlookers who have their own personal, upsetting story, such as having bricks through the window or witnessing violent attacks etc. People which were caught up in the aftermath of Moronicitis, called into the news channels and said, usually very angrily, how pathetic the riots were being and how over stretched the police were. This was usually broadcast over repeated footage of a rampaging fire, or footage which demonstrated the police being over stretched.
As the evening carried on, it continued to become evident that Mononicitis had not only spread through London, but across the country, to other cities such as Bristol, Liverpool and Birmingham. The news had not planned for it to be so wide-spread, and therefore these events were described pointlessly down the phone by local news correspondents, agitatedly saying how Birmingham has small outbursts of violence, sometimes even played over mobile phone footage of Morons charging at a line of police with bins and wood, before running back home. This led to a change in news headline going from 'London Riots' to 'UK Riots'. Monday night was the night when Moronicitis became a national pandemic, with no cure in sight.
The following day, after the Morons had yet again gone back to their hovels to sulk in their own filth, and as the sun once again shinned over London, and other cities, there was light at the end of tunnel. Not the hope of 13,000 police in London to act as a vaccine to Moronicitis, nor was it David Cameron's speech, in which he basically said 'You should all be very ashamed of yourselves'. No. The bad and evil social networking websites, changed their allegiance, and done positive work to help the lives and communities destroyed. Volunteer clean up operations were organised via Twitter, asking people to bring brooms and rubbish sacks, and within the day, totally cleaned up all the London boroughs, as well as other major UK cities. There was hope for humanity and forces of good, just like the end of most, blockbuster, apocalyptic films. Those events remind us that humanity isn't just a violent, moronic species.
Then the evening came. The 13,000 strong army of police officers circulating the English capital, seemed to act as a deterrent, or a vaccine, if you will, resulting in Moronicitis being almost completely cured in the main problem areas. However, the rest of the country was now in the heightened grips of suffering from Moronicitis. Birmingham, Manchester and Leicester were the English cities hit badly by Moronicitis, with many shops in those cities being looted, and yes, pointlessly burnt, as well as the needless violence aimed at the Police, because they ‘like’, represent authority. One of the shops, which the News channels swarmed to, to film its destruction, was a Miss Selfridge in Salford, Manchester. How that represents racial quality issues, I don't know. That, to me at least, (and remember, I don't live in the 'Ghetto's', I live in a Middle class, consistently Conservative village in Kent) seems like needless, pointless violence.
From then on, the nightmare of Moronicitis seemed to subside, and the country, which was once in the grips of this deadly disease, is still continuing to recover. Many people appear to be very lovely and helpful, and are good advocates for humanity. Yet, we are still reminded of Moronicitis, by the facts that the disease took the lives of 5 people, as well as injuring 16 bystanders and 186 police officers, as well as the hundreds of millions of pounds of damage caused by these large swarms of Morons.
Initially, Humanity comes out of these events as a terrible species that does not deserve our place on Planet Earth, however, overall, when you take into account the willingness by the general majority to help communities and individuals recover as quickly as possible, and this 'Keep Calm and Carry On' attitude that, England as a nation has, puts a positive spin on a such an frightening and appalling ordeal, and maybe, just maybe, Humanity isn't that bad after all. I hope the people who were overpowered by Moronicitis will receive the treatment they deserve; being severely punished to the extremes of the Law system, despite their age. As David Cameron said in his speech after his return from Italy; "If you're old enough to commit the crime, you're old enough too punished". The thought of 16 year olds committing these crimes is very depressing. The thought of 10 year olds committing these crimes is upsetting and very worrying. One hopes that the families of those young offenders are also punished, and the Governments threats to do so, were not empty ones.
Anyway, if you want to look at a gallery of scumbags and recent suffers of Moronicitis, then visit 'Crimefighters'. If you recognise one those faces; Shout! Shout loudly, preferably over the phone or on the Internet, at the right source.
If you want to blame the police for the nationwide spread of Moronicitis, then go and see about having that lobotomy reversed; they done their absolute best with the recourses at their disposal. Also, if you're one of those stupid fuddy-duddies whose answer to everything is 'National Service', then go and hang your head in shame at diminishing the work done by our Army.
P.S. I'm not in the slightest bit patriotic, but some people just don't fully appreciate anything!
