The Greatest Show On Earth

I enjoyed the Olympic Opening Ceremony so much, that I think I might just series link them all. I was cynical about the entire thing, but I was wrong to be so because it was an amazing thing to witness - right from the beginning to end, despite the even lasting for nearly four hours.

The opening clip with the animation of the journey down the River Thames was very well done, and was actually quite funny I thought. However, this show wasn't just for us Brit's - it was for the entire World, and like many people have said: I'm not sure they really got most of it.

London 2013

Breaking news! The Olympics are coming to London, and are set to start Friday, 27th of July 2012. So, let's start looking ahead to London 2013; the year which won't be very sporting at all.

There will be no build-up to London 2013; I doubt if it will even affect anyone. It won't cause traffic chaos or lead to the people of London taking two weeks off work. Also, unlike the Olympics, there will be no-one running around carrying ignited fuel, which will travel the country causing disruption where ever it goes. It will be an event which will allow everyone to carry on their lives however they wish.

IDontGetThisFad.co.uk/Adverts&Sponsorship

Adverts have a lot of influence on our every day behaviour. They can change the way we talk, make us perform little squeak noises, give us topics of conversation, and not to mention make us buy over-priced goods we don’t need. It now almost seems like we have started watching television programs in between watching a series of 30 second dramas which have the ability to invoke emotion in viewers. It's about time someone released a television channel that showed nothing but adverts day and night… Someone has created a website, tellyAds, which has archives of adverts, with their slogan actually being 'TV Without The Boring Bits: The Programmes'. A channel isn't far away, surely.

February: Love Month (Apparently)

The shortest month of the year has been and gone confined to the history books as the second snowy month of 2010. February consists of Pancake Day, a day which everyone eats Pancakes surprisingly. Why only on this day, I don't know. Then February also has 'Valaween' hidden in the middle of it. Just in case you were wondering, I got no late Valentine's Cards, so that is another year of receiving (and sending) none. I look forward to yet another year of having my Facebook Status set to 'Single'.

Snow played yet another big part in this the month of February as it did in January, and yet again every moaned about it. They say we had the coldest winter since 1979 and the news was quick to show us yet more images of our nation suffering. Whether it was of monkeys sitting in the snow in a zoo or a tractor ironically being stuck in the snow after trying to pull a car out of a ditch, we had to be constantly told how much devastation this is causing us Brits. Last year, experts predicted Swine Flu to be the worst thing to affect us this winter, with it potentially killing millions, but instead it was the snow. Who could've seen that coming? Well, you would have thought the people at the Met Office.
Would you believe that it is the job of people at the Met Office to predict the weather so we can prepare ourselves? Yet, every time they seem to fail. A good use of money I think - paying people to do a job wrong. Mind you, if we pay our bankers millions of pounds for losing our money, why shouldn't we pay them to not do their job properly either. It seems our country is full of failures, and yet the Daily Mail still wonder why we have foreigners doing our jobs. Maybe it is because they are more competent - just a guess.
While I am on the subject of competence, let’s go back a few weeks ago (To Valentine's Day infact) when there was a smashing interview between a twatting tit and an unpopular growth. Yes, I am referring to the Piers Morgan/Gordon Brown interview on ITV 1. Now I am sure that you are aware of my dislike of Piers Morgan, so you can imagine my surprise after watching an hour long show with him in it that I 'enjoyed'. Well, maybe 'enjoy' is a bit of an overstatement, but I did think it was very interesting. I believe that Mr Brown came across very well in the interview. Granted, I did spend a majority of the interview just being mesmerised by the skin of Gordon Brown's neck and maybe that is what hypnotised me into liking him.
I think the Scot answered all the questions exactly right, despite Piers Morgan asking him really inappropriate questions which no-one wants to know the answer to. Why should I want to know 'How many girls Gordon Brown slept with while at University’? This was a political interview, not Loose Women! The overall interview was near on 3 hours, so it makes you wonder how awful the other 2 hours of stuff was, but that is the positive of editing I suppose. Alistair Campbell (Incidentally, I met his wife at the beginning of February - Fiona Millar - Thanks Mr Karnavas!) and Gordon Brown must be very happy with the outcome of the interview, and I do truly believe that the interview has actually helped Brown's election chances. However, if I'm 18 before the elections, I will still vote Conservative, but at least he tried.
The Winter Olympics happened in Vancouver, Canada during February as well. It became slightly hard for me to watch after that guy died while practicing for the Luge, so I didn't watch much after the first few days. However, I was pretty addicted to it before that happened and I did become quite the expert in Short Hill Ski Jumping as well as the Speed Skiing. How well did Britain do? Shockingly bad as usual. You would have thought with all the snow we have had, we could have done better. The medal we did though was a gold one.
That medal was one for us by a Miss Amy Williams. She competed in the 'Bob Skelton' which is essentially laying front first on a toboggan while going around a bobsleigh track head-first. It seems like quite scary stuff, and luckily I did actually watch this. A positive of them laying front first is that you can see their rear ends very well. The comment I made while watching her being hurtled around the track by the G-Forces for her winning run was that she had a very nice arse. I am not lying either, it is a VERY nice arse that Amy Williams has.
I think we all know that John Terry would have liked it also. Just in case you are not aware due to being trapped on a desert island with no contact to civilisation, he has been accused of sleeping with his best friend’s girlfriend. Yes, it does seem like something that would be found on the Jeremy Kyle show. John Terry cheated on his own wife with the girlfriend of his former best friend and England Teammate. For some reason, Wayne Bridge has pulled out of the England Football team due to it. I wonder why?
Then of course you have the Cheryl Cole/Ashley Cole saga. What is it with footballers and their ability to 'score away from home' (a nice football based pun for you)? My theory is that they get paid too much to do sod all. They train in the morning and nothing the rest of the day. They have all that money, all that fame and the ball skill (two in one paragraph; look at me go). They have the ability to seduce any woman, so they do, despite how utterly gorgeous their 'WAG's are.
However, you can't talk about failing marriages without mentioning Katie Price, or whatever she is calling herself these days. It was only a few weeks since I wrote a blog about Katie Price's latest gossip and already it seems to be out dated. She and Alex got married in Las Vegas. Then there was talk they were getting divorced. Then talk of him wanting to adopt Peter Andre's children. Then talk that he gets no say in the marriage and that Katie 'wears' the trousers in the house. Then more talk about them getting divorced. Then I am being told that they are happily in love.
I am just confused. I try to use as little brain power as possible when it comes to trying to solve what is happening in modern pop culture because I have better and more important things to waste my time thinking about, like whether I want Cheese or Egg Sandwiches for lunch. However, trying to figure out Katie Price's love life is just confusing. However, this does trigger the question - why do we as a nation care?

Now, I apologise for being a day late in posting this blog 'End of the Month' blog. The reason for this is that I had a mad spasm of a social life. I was actually out and having fun which meant I had no time to write the blog. My weekend consisted of sleeping on a bed with more people than the bed was originally designed for then a sofa, as well as drinking alcohol (I am part of the statistic of underage drinkers, but then who isn't?) and eating far too much cake. However, I would describe the weekend as 'Brilliant', 'Much Needed', 'Extraordinary Fun' and also 'One Of My Best Yet'. If I may be slightly cheesy and ruin this angry persona I seem to have going, Thanks Guys for a great couple of days, and I hope you had a great time Emily.

Anyway, onwards with March. I predict that this month will bring more devastation, more marital conflict, more crap telly, and also the celebration of a year without an unloved celebrity...

Are You Ready, Are Your Ready For This, Are You Hanging On The Edge Of Your Seat...

This is the first blog in which I've talked about my day, which can mean either one of two things - Today has been extra ordinarily brilliant, or pretty bad - but today ticks both boxes... I have spent the entire day listening to Queen (And I still am) because I have a lot of Queen Songs which haven't been listened to for ages. So the background music for my day has been pretty darn good.

I didn't get a lot of sleep last night, because at 2 in the morning I was chasing a spider around my room, he was a big fellow, but he was also a quick little bugger. It makes me feel guilty that I killed him with one of my shoes now, because he would have been a great participant of the London 2012 spider Olympics. Nether-the-less, I saw him last week and lost him, so I refused to lose him again. Took me ages to get to sleep after, so I woke up in a pretty bad mood - and from there the day has progressed (like normal days really. You wake up, and the day progresses from there - nothing unusual - except I was in a particularly bad mood, like I have previously mentioned).

First lesson was Photography. I like photography, and in fact (excluding some of the company), it is probably my favourite lesson. The bad thing about photography, is you have to carry your folders everywhere, and at the moment I am carrying 3 folders around, so after a day of walking in the sun (which the next paragraph will be about), my hands are very, very sore - so my hands at the moment are not as smooth as normal.

Walking in the sun is a pain - especially when you hadn't planned to. My plan was to bus into town from my photography lesson, as the school where my lesson is literarily miles away from the high street, which is only the half way point to where my afternoon lesson of English is held. But knowing my luck, I didn't just miss one bus - I missed two. So I had to walk a fair distance, whilst lugging around three photography sketch books.

Me not catching a bus into town and walking instead, meant I was half hour late to meet my Nan, Aunt and various other people who mysteriously know my name, in a coffee shop in Canterbury, which meant I had no time for an energy boost of a drink, as I walked my (partially sighted) Nan to her pick-up point. This was my good deed of the day. Every day needs one, even if it's just letting a marathon running spider live a little longer, and seeing as I didn't do that, walking my Nan was the next best option.

After putting her into the car and waving her goodbye, I walked back into town to do a few things I needed to do, which included a trip to the bank so I could bank a cheque I've been holding onto for a few weeks. A trip to the bank, at lunchtime, means standing in cue for long periods of time - whilst holding heavy sketch books. After 25 minutes in the cue, it was my turn, and I was out within minutes afterwards. During my time the cue though, I decided that going to the bank is very much like participating in bad British quiz show, hosted by Michael Barrymore and Bruce Forsyth. I would go into detail, but this is now an idea for a sketch, which I am going to develop, so I shall enlighten you when the idea is developed - maybe.

Out the bank, get a few more things done, whilst still carrying these sketchbooks, which at this point seemed to be corroding my hand, and I began to walk down the town, to my next destination - school. If only it was that simple. As everyone is aware when walking through a high street, you always get people wanting to stop and chat to you, to make you feel guilty about how lucky you have life because African kids are dying, and try to get you to give them money - these are what I believe are called 'Charity Spokespeople'. Well, I got metaphorically tackled by one and had a good ten minute chat with a woman wearing a UNICEF jumper...

I will admit, she wasn't a great spokeswoman for them as discussions included the weather, talking about photography (because she saw my heavy folder), University life and her finger nails - before we got onto a brief discussion concerning these dying children. By me giving them 69p a week, I could give a child a vaccination apparently. I didn't give my card details, but I did walk away, feeling rather guilty for still being alive and not giving her some money - but at least I didn't bump into the Gypsy Women who sticks a heather up my nose and demands a pound for it.

After that, I sat in Westgate gardens and ate a sandwich that I had brought from Tesco's while watching the ducks play in the water; Chinese people take pictures of each other and builders the other side of the river, eating their lunches. It was at that point when I got my phone out and began to Tweet. After that, I went to school, and done hardly anything in English because I was tired and warn out, and that's how the rest of the day has been - pointless. Up until this moment in time where I am nearing the end of my blog.

That was my 'brief' account of my day, my first blog which documents 'A Day In The Life Of' and I expect it will be my last blog which does so. It feel a little better, after getting all of that off my chest, so I would recommend it to anyone who is considering going to therapy soon - just write a blog which hardly anyone will read.

So, that's the end, which leaves me with only one thing to say...
Toodles m'dearys.
xXXx