Life After the Woolwich Attack

Last week, Adebolajo and Adebowale, were both sentenced to life imprisonment, nine months after their brutal attack on Drummer Lee Rigby on a South London street.

The pair were sentenced in their absence after brawling with security guards during Mr Justice Sweeny's opening sentencing remarks. This brings around a legal resolution wanted by all. But how can the family move on after losing a loved one in such a tragic and public way?

Lee Rigby's funeral

Most of us would have seen the upsetting images taken on Artillery Place, Woolwich, in the immediate aftermath of the attack. We were horrified at the sight of an unshaken man calmly addressing a camera phone, while brandishing a blood-soaked cleaver. He stood in front of a man, who laid in the road in a puddle of blood.

Armchair Activist

A few days ago I took a bump to the head. And by that, I mean I accidentally whacked my head against the wooden door frame of a shed, multiple times until it culminated in one final blow which made me cry and punch said shed in a fit of emotion. I'd say I suffered for about two days after. Partly because the top of my head was bruised in such a way that a gentle breeze hurt. Partly because my personality took a minor detour towards selflessly wanting to help thy neighbour.

I took to Twitter to vent my rage at how Twitter is being mistreated at present. Within 10 minutes I had signed an online petition, vowed to join a Twitter boycott and shared my activistic opinions regarding 'trolling' with my followers. All within half hour of waking up and hearing the news of journalist Caroline Criado-Perez being inundated with rape threats. I lost two followers.

Following the story from its beginnings last week, through to the time of writing, is incredibly interesting if you like studying the evolution of stories. Last week, this story was originally the successful campaign by Caroline Criado-Perez to get a female back on English tender. Then some men who obviously felt women were getting ideas above their station, decided to send rape threats to her. And then people complained. And more men sent rape and death threats to more high profile females on Twitter. Then, on July 31st, one man tweeted bomb threats to three female journalists. As understated as this sounds, it got VERY out of hand.

Katie Hopkins Eats The Souls Of Disabled Children

I figured that Katie Hopkins wouldn't mind me writing that about her. It might even give her an idea for her next topic to be outraged on. You see, her diet actually consists of outrage directed at her. She is a monster who feeds on incandescent fury, and it makes her grow bigger, stronger and more opinionated, until one day she will defeat Holly Willoughby.

The media attention surrounding her has grown since the start of 2013, but particularly in the past few weeks. She is arguably one of the most famous Apprentices to come out of the show after causing much controversy and finally quitting the show. Since then, she's not really had a proper job, as far as I can see from Googling her name. Her career highlights include going into the I'm A Celebrity jungle, appearing on Question Time, appearing on This Morning, taking Alan Sugar to court and having her name trend on Twitter.

The Woolwich Murder

I was in Woolwich on that day. 22 May 2013. I live there. Fortunately, I was safely in our flat at 2:20pm. I was oblivious anything had happened. Then, helicopters kept circling around and around, and the sounds of distant sirens could be heard. However, after nearly a year of living there, I've become immune to that. Then I read a strange Tweet that stated that something had happened in Woolwich. No more than that. I went to Google. Two men had been shot after brandishing swords, barely a ten minutes walk away.

Telling it from my point of view is not interesting in the slightest. However, I haven't stopped thinking about it. Especially since I found out, many hours later, that it was being classified as an act of terrorism, and that they had beheaded a serving soilder. Those pictures on the television that evening will forever be imprinted in my brain. There has been much discussion as to whether that picture of Michael Adebolajo, the man with bloodied hands holding the meat cleaver, speaking to the camera, should have ever been used. They were distressing for me, let alone a young child walking past a newsagents on the way to school the next morning.

Stuart's Review Of The Noughties

Wave bye-bye to 2009 and to the Noughties. 2010 has arrived, bringing with it a new decade which is inappropriately named 'The Teens'. As a lot of people have commented, it shouldn't technically be called 'The Teens' until 2013, so I don't know what the official name for this decade will be. Also, what are we calling this year? Twenty Ten or Two Thousand and Ten? I personally prefer the former because it sounds quite futuristic, but it is an Americanism, which is a downside. The latter is quite a boring, British way of saying it. I expect I'll call it Twenty Ten because it is shorter, but no-one listens to me.

Anyway, back on with the subject, 'The Noughties' - the years 2000 to 2009. This is the decade of the Internet. Every decade has a 'thing' and the previous was the Internet; the marvellous invention that allows you to watch people getting hurt when You've Been Framed isn't on. It also allows people to communicate with each other, as well as looking at free porn and sharing pointless thoughts with the world on Twitter. The Internet also allows people to be very angry. The amount of comments you see on forums and YouTube which are an exchange of insults is phenomenal. People surely were not that angry before the Internet. Essentially, they're just 12 year old boys who like to act hard by calling everyone a 'Dickhead' under the alias of 'RudeBoi98'. If you met them in real life, they would run away at the mere thought of a fight. I've had a few of them comments on my Blog, which I think is evidence that I've made it.
The Internet has had an incredible amount of bad press also however. Only the other year some scientist said that 'Using Facebook could raise the risk of your child having cancer' and crying that 'It could ruin the brains of children effecting our future generation'. Well, I've been on Facebook a few years now and I'm no more stupid than I was before. Also, apparently, a rise in paedophilia has been recorded because a 42 year old man can pose as 15 year old girl of MSN or MySpace. No one said 70 years ago that 'Chimney sweeps could be a predator on your innocent teenage daughter' did they though. Anyway, I know I'm safe because if anyone wanted me, they'd have to be pretty darn desperate.

This has also been the decade of terror for other reasons. Ever since 11/9 (it's the right way around because I'm not American. They're the only country who writes the date the other way around - idiots) the Governments have drummed into us that we're living in a 'climate of fear' which they themselves created anyway. The planes crashing into the Twin Towers surely was a horrific moment of the decade, and is one thing it will be remembered for, but I don't think going to war with Afghanistan and Iraq has helped the situation. Overall, 6,255 people died in the Noughties because of the war. Then you have the bomb attack on a Spanish train, then the London Underground/Bus, Glasgow Airport and a Russian Train; as well as all the suicide attacks in the war-torn countries. Okay, not as bad as the World Wars, but still something a majority of people will remember about the decade.

The reality show boom. Yes, a lot of negative things happened during the Noughties. The popularity of these shows started at the dawn of decade, with Big Brother being the main one and then shows such as Pop Idol, X-Factor and Britain's Got Talent. Then shows like I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here, Strictly Come Dancing and Dancing On Ice. This is what tarred the basic fabric of humanity apart during the decade, with 95% of conversations linking to Reality TV in one way or another. Don't even get me started on the stars that have been born from this obsession. People like Chantelle from Big Brother, Cheryl Cole from Pop Stars: The Rivals and recently Susan Boyle from Britain's Got Talent. The most annoyingly famous one of the lot however is Jade Goody. You may be surprised that I mentioned her name, but in 45 years time when some poor sods have to learn about Culture in the Noughties, she'll be one of the people mentioned to your Grandchildren or Great Grandchildren. Now who wants that? I sure don't! The history of the decade has been soiled because of Reality TV and Jade Goody.
Simon Cowell has been a giant influence upon the decade as well. At the turn of the decade he was relatively unknown and now he is better known than the Queen according to a recent study. This is the man who brought us the treats of Pop Idol, X-Factor and Britain's Got Talent. This is the man who has helped to escalate our nations hunger to be a celebrity. This is a man who makes millions from making people look like complete and utter idiots on national telly in front of 10 Million people on a weekly basis. This is a man who at one point was more well known for being an angry, white-teethed, trousers-around-the-neck annoyance with terrible hair. Now he has far too much respect, money and ego as a result of the Noughties.

Journalism. Now remember I want a career in Journalism so this is a profession I'm suppose to admire and constantly dream about. Infact, only the other day I received a conditional offer to study Journalism at University. Well believe it or not I hate a majority of Journalists. Since the death of our dear Princess Diana, press has been given a bad name; in much the same way as one of Bon Jovi's ex's gave love a bad name. Piers Morgan was a twat during the 90's but he's even worse now - he's on TV. The news seems to only focus on the pointless moments in life like celebrity love lives. "Forget Australia being completely destroyed by a nuclear bomb, did you say Wayne and Coleen Rooney may be getting divorced?" That's what it would be like anyway. I'm sure most Journalist's are lovely in real-life, but the persona created by most in the papers is quite an unpleasant one.

Then you also have the recession, which looms over us still as we pass into another decade. This brought an increase of Shoplifting into the decade and a rise in unemployment. The decade will be known for bankers pissing our money away so they can go fancy yachts with cheesy names such as 'Bay Dream' and 'Fishin' Impossible'. People in years to come will talk about a ‘Northern Rock’ which once stood in high streets and raconteurs will share stories of the time when they stood in lines for hours on end to enter this 'Northern Rock'.

Something else that has come out of the decade and the Internet is the ability to watch TV without turning the actual television on. Yes, iPlayer was born, meaning that people can watch something a week later after it was originally shown on their laptops, iPods and phones. Phones are another invention which has really excelled during the Noughties. At the turn of the decade people hadn't even started playing Snake on their mobiles with them being the size of an actual brick with giant buttons. Remember them? Well why don't you go on the Internet via your phone and have a look on Google images if you don't.

Apples played a big part in the decade. No, not the edible ones which keep the doctor away, I mean the company. The idea that someone could play a few songs without using a CD player or tape deck was revolutionary. Now we think nothing of having an entire music collection in our pocket to listen to when we want, where we want. Now that my friends, this is what geeks are for: coming up with absolutely fantastic inventions. I love my iPod. I love mine so much I've named him Oscar and surprisingly he has the exact same taste in music as I do.

Twitter is a micro-blogging site which really made it big in the final year of the decade, and I have to stand up and say "Yes, I am a Twitterholic". I find it absolutely fantastic. What did we do before Twitter? Did we shout short messages of 140 characters in length out the window at people innocently walking past? No, it is such a pointless invention and is why I adore it. Essentially Twitter is a legalised form of stalking. I now know whenever my friends are having a shower and I can even tell you when Chris Moyles is going for 5 mile run so you can pop around his house and burgle him. Just brilliant.

This was the decade in which people stopped talking and spelling properly too (or should I say 2?). It’s a pet peeve of mine. I think you will find ‘U’ is an inappropriate way of spelling ‘you’. Even meaningful sentiments like ‘I love you’ have been destroyed. You’re lucky if someone goes to the effort of putting ‘luv u’ really because people very commonly go ‘ily’. The English language is slowly being destroyed. Even laughter has been destroyed. People have actually started saying ‘LOL’ instead of laughing. It’s the most common piece of gobbledegook used in society these days, and I hate it; a generation of people who can only communicate if they’re typing or using acronyms.

Games have had a huge impact in the previous decade. Years ago we sat infront of silly 2D animation with repetitive hypnotising music. Now at the end of the decade people have realistic games in which you feel part of the experience. Whether you're running people over in a stolen car on Grand Theft Auto or playing tennis in your living rooms, you are living in a realistic revolutionary game. You can play on your own while eating a packet of Doritos's or on the Internet against a thousand people eating Doritos's. If someone said to you in 1999 that in 2009 you could flapping like a bird to 'exercise' on your games console or pretending you're in a war zone with real blood effects and talking to someone in Australia, you probably would have already called the local mental institution claiming they were insane.

Then we have pop culture. This is something I am not going to say I 'adore' or find 'fantastic' because I actually detest it. As I mention far too many times in my blogs; Jade Goody was pretty the face of everything I despise. Amy Winehouse constantly being in and out of rehab so many times I can't remember when I first lost interest in her. Naomi Campbell has hit so many cleaners that her house now looks like a pig sty. Heather Mills has crushed so many Beatles that she has been named a threat to the environment. Victoria and David Beckham have moved country so many times that they themselves have contributed to 10% of all pollution. That leaves Katie Price; well she alone caused the great 2005 shortage of plastic and has been spread over so many papers that I can't be bothered to think up another metaphor for her. These are people we're supposed to idealise? These are role models to the next generation of adults? Celebrity Pop Culture was possibly the worst part of the Noughties. The sad thing is as well, that it shows no signs of stopping during the Teens. Even if we perfect space travel in the decade, we wouldn't be able to hide from it. How I wish I was a hermit sometimes.

Much more happened in the previous decade however, but I don’t want to make this blog so incredibly long no-one reads it so I’ve decreased it the bigger moments. What wonders do we expect from the Teens though? Maybe Jonathan Ross will leave the BBC to go onto more exciting projects? Maybe Big Brother will come to an end? Maybe we will learn how to cope with snow? Maybe big football teams like Manchester United and Liverpool will be squashed by teams like Leeds and Reading? Maybe the cure for cancer will be found? Maybe the British public will stop moaning about every little thing which could be portrayed as 'insulting' on the BBC? Maybe I will be able to text from my phone without pressing the camera button by accident? Maybe my blog will be found by the editor from The Guardian and I'll be found and become a renowned famous Journalist (I'm allowed to dream)? It's even possible that Katie Price may find the perfect man.

We shall have to wait and see.

Social Networking Has Ended Socialising

Sorry for rudely taking a three week break from writing blogs, (I'm sure no-one missed me) but I am back and intend to crack on with writing a few blogs, and I shall start with this blog, about Socialising on this modern, technological advancement, invented by Mankind, yet not very well known, and it's called 'The Internet'. The Internet, which is also known as the World Wide Web, can offer the user many things, such as watching Monkeys masturbate on YouTube, illegally share music, buy Viagra discreetly, look at the roof of their house on Google Maps, edit history on Wikipedia, watch porn, express their opinion which no-one cares about on blogs such as this and socialise.

Social Networking sites now mean that we can keep in contact with all our friends and family, when at home on the laptop or on a train, playing with ones iPhone, which from a certain perspective, is great. However, teenagers like myself, have become dependent on this and some now don't feel the need to meet friends, as people used to do a generation ago, because sitting at home, watching telly and keeping up-to-date with the latest gossip with friends is somewhat more attractive to some than walking down a busy high street while it's raining and frantically trying to find something to do.

There are different areas of social networking. You have Twitter, which this year has grown a lot in popularity with more and more celebrities using it, and as well as allowing a user to keep up to date with what friends are doing and thinking, it also allows people to see what their favourite celebrities are up to. Windows Live Messenger (more often called MSN) focuses on the basic skill used by a majority to communicate, which is having a conversation with one or more people. Websites like Facebook, MySpace, and Bebo are more general social networking sites, in which you can talk to friends, share images and videos, play games, and many other things, and these are probably the most popular forms of social networking the Internet has to offer.

You could probably call me a social networking addict, however, like most things I like, I find that lots of little things annoy me. Mainly on Facebook and MSN. You see, I no longer use Bebo and MySpace. You could call it an addiction I have overcome. Twitter, I am addicted to, but doesn't really annoy me to great lengths, like Facebook and MSN - or in other words, the things I use the most.

The first thing is Friendship. I have 130 friends on my Facebook and in comparison to a lot of peoples profiles, I look very unpopular, but a lot of people on my friends list, I hardly know and wouldn't really call them a friend in the real world, more an acquaintance I once went to school with, or someone I met through a friends friend once or twice. Some of these people, I have never spoken to in the real world. Another thing is that once they've added you as a friend, and you've accepted it, you both ignore each other. Don't talk to each other, if anything, it's just so they can nose into your profile and look at embarrassing images of me wearing a face mask... For example. Something else that doesn't annoy me, more than it depresses me, is that people will always put kisses at an end of a message (xxxx) and yet, in the real world, I'd be lucky for them to look at me. Hardly anyone kisses me on the cheek, unless they're drunk, so why pretend? If people are going to put a kisses on a message to me, I expect them to actually kiss me in the real world. It's the little things in life, so they say anyway.

Politicians and the police are wondering why there is some much violence in teenagers these days, but I think I have discovered the reason for this: Virtual Violence. I don't mean people playing violent games on their Playstation 3's and whatnot; it's all this nudging and poking you can do. Granted, probably not the most violent of things, but it can escalate out of control. It won't be long before you can 'Slap My Face' and a box pops up saying "Do you want video this and post on YouTube" and an animation with your friend's head on it is slapped, then punched and kicked, all in the name of fun and socialising. Possibly a bit extreme actually, but stranger things have happened.

Then you have all these application on Facebook, which can get irritating after a while. You have YoVille and FarmVille (both things I'm getting slightly addicted to for reasons I don't understand), in which you can have a little virtual life. The former allows you to work, earn money just so you can buy food and decorate your apartment. The latter is a bit more obvious, where your virtual life can grow and harvest Corn, Strawberry's, Plums and many other things, as well as milking cows and collecting eggs. The only bit of socialising you can do on these particular applications is looking at friend’s apartments and farms.
Another application is Friends Facts, in which people answer questions about their friends, and in return, can find out what their friends think about them. An example is "Do You Think John Has Ever Had A Crush On You?" Very simple. Mind you, if you put all my answers together they make no sense. According to one friend, I am a virgin, yet another friend believes I have had a threesome. Some answers are also very soul crushing. "Is Stuart Attractive? - No", "Do You Think Stuart Is Charismatic? - No" and many more along those lines.
Then you have the online quizzes which come with these websites. "Find Out When You Will Meet The Love of Your Life" and "What Michael Jackson Song Are You?" (I'm Man In The Mirror apparently) which are all just a waste of everyone's time - including mine. I can't see any point in them. I don't understand why that's considered part of socialising myself, it all just gets on my tits a little bit.

THEN, you have people becoming fans of every single thing that they can think of. People become fans of 'Kicking squirrels in the face', 'God', 'Big Brother' and during her media hype earlier in the year, 'Jade Goody'. You should have known she'd be mentioned sooner or later. Anyway, people becoming fans of stupid things like that, gives a good indication as to what kind of person they are, whether it's cruel, pissed, idiotic, a slut, or maybe even nice. Some people do become fans laughter and flowers, but why people feel the need to become fans of everything and anything, I have no idea.

Also, you have the option to 'Like' something which another friend has said or done. This is something which people use to the extreme, liking anything and everything. I could change my status to 'Stuart Collyer is contemplating suicide' and in the box underneath it'd have '2 People Like This' and someone would have commented saying 'Lol'. I must come across as a moody old bloke (despite being a happy 17 year old) because I refuse to like or comment on anything unless I really do like it, but mostly, things on Facebook make me apathetic. I would like them to have a dislike option though, not because I'd go around disliking everything on Facebook, just purely in the interest of fairness.

Facebook and Twitter has however, taken away our privacy and freedom of speech (in a certain respect) because secrets can't kept, as someone will have an image of you being drunk, dancing on the coffee table, despite you telling Mummy you wouldn't drink or phoning in sick at work, and being tagging in a photo of you on the beach, smiling and doing a thumbs up to the camera, dated the day you apparently had diarrhoea.

Twitter and Facebook, have allowed the everyday person, to document their day and turn it into a ‘Big Brother’ of their life. People change their statuses in order to tell everyone else what they are doing. It can be anything from 'I'm bored at home' to 'I'm going into town'. Maybe they should change the format of Big Brother next year, where they lock everyone in the house for 3 months as usual, but instead of having camera, they set up Facebook and Twitter accounts and then they update their status every so-often and every night on Channel 4, instead of showing the best clips from the day, the Geordie bloke (called Marcus) reads out the best profile updates of the day. It combines two pointless inventions of Mankind, into one, easier to handle annoyance.

Anyway, a majority of my blog readers, actually read this on my Facebook profile, because (to get technical for just a minute) I set up an RSS feed which automatically posts my blog onto Facebook every time I add a new one. That means that probably someone will ‘like’ this blog and thus continuing the circle of liking everything and anything on Facebook. For those of you reading on Facebook though, this is the address for my blog, in case you wanted to know what it looks like. www.im-called-stuart.blogspot.com

Toodles m’dearys
xXXx

Let’s Get, Twittering... Twittering

In case you are one of the few left who doesn’t know what Twitter is, it basically is yet another online social networking website, which essentially lets you write a question, pondering, or whatever you want, in 140 characters. A good quote I read this week was in The Guardian by a Mr Charlie Brooker who said that Twitter is the online equivalent of popping bubble wrap.

Twitter has been getting lots of media converge lately with the snow storms being experienced over here in the UK, and also because a TV star (Stephen Fry), got stuck in a lift, and spent his time ‘Twittering’. Thus boosting Twitter into the starlight, and helped remind me that I had made an account a few weeks earlier.

It is amazing how many celebrities are on Twitter. I had a moment earlier where I went through and added comedians I know. It ranges from Jonathan ‘Woss’, Stephen Fry, Jimmy Carr, Tim Minchin, John Cleese and many others, but they are to name some I am following. I do however have one friend on here, which amongst all the celebrities, looks a little weird, but it makes him look big and famous.

He has returned the favour, and is following me, as are two other people, who I have never heard of, and probably never will. So I feel I have succeeded at it already. The world shall know of my on going’s and thoughts. If I say something random during the day, I shall add it to my Twitter. I am going to try and say one thing every day, which has a bit of humour. I may stuff it up sooner or later, but I think this could be something I get addicted to.

Twitter though, to sum it up in one simile, is like a proud stalker. You follow someone, throughout their day-to-day lives, but you are very open about it. You are basically shouting to them, 'I'm following you!' and there is nothing they can do about it. Well they can block you, but thats about it.

To me though, it is basically Facebook, without all garbage. You essentially just put in your status update, and read others. But I’m not going to deny, it is interesting to see what celebrities are up to, for instance as I’m typing this, Graham Linehan (writer of things like Father Ted and IT Crowd) is playing online poker. The life of a comedy writer is bloody interesting.

The gobbledegook used at Twitter as well are... interesting. Just like Facebook ones, if you have a Facebook profile, you are a ‘Facebooker’. You ‘Tweet’ when you write something and having an account means you are ‘Twittering’.

So, if you want to add me, my profile is at http://twitter.com/MrStuy.

Toodles m’dears and I’ll try not to leave so long before I write another blog.
Stuy