An In-depth Moan About Specific Issues with Television Programs

We now live in an age where we have 3D, HD, curved, smart televisions that understand voice and hand commands, and do everything apart from ordering you a takeaway in time to watch your favourite program. Therefore, it could be considered that we're in the golden age of televisual viewing. The quality of picture and sound that the television can emit is exemplary. However, I can't help but feel that the one thing that lets it down, are the actual programs on the television.

It would now be easy for me to then list off the garbage that is actually on the television. Everyone does that; and I've done it many times before. The Real Celebrity Chef Apprentices' Made in Essex Factor, or whatever these faux reality/talent shows are called, come to mind. It would also be easy for me to berate how tediously repetitive, formulaic and idiotic the shows, their content, and their viewers, are. How producers plan 'real' lives to be entertaining viewing. Or how they carefully pick contestants that viewers will hate, that are unfit for purpose, or one's that will bicker to the end of time.

No, that isn't where I was going with this. I mean the actual quality and approach to producing and airing programs.

Let's take Peaky Blinders as my first example. Fantastic series, and please consider this as me riding on the bandwagon of everyone saying so. It is gripping. It is gritty. It has jeopardy. It is has fantastic characters (and a marvellous bunch of actors), who have interesting back stories, and all hold integral roles in how the main story plays out. And it has a brilliant soundtrack of songs that are used to beautifully match the feel of specific scenes, and the series as a whole. Having only seen the second series, I can easily say it is one of the best things that have been on the box over the past five years.

BUT, they mumble so much. Whoever was in charge of recording the voices, did a shocking job. I have the TV volume turned right up, and I still have to really concentrate to understand what they're saying. I would watch with subtitles on if I didn't think it detracted from the series.

This is a problem which I'm finding with a lot of television. I have the TV turned up so I can hear what is being said, and then the adverts start and I have to quickly fumble for the remote so the volume doesn't perforate my eardrums. Why does everyone have to mumble? Can they not just turn the sound up on the actual program? I'm only 22. I feel really sorry for anyone over 80 trying to watch television.

Let's take Coronation Street as my second example, but this is an issue which exists in other programs. Background noise; I bloody hate it. I have a decent set of speakers  plugged into the back of my TV, and they produce good surround sound. So if a character is watching television, whilst having a conversation with someone else, all I can hear is the noise from their TV, and it's highly distracting.

Switch to another house, and they're doing their washing. It has absolutely nothing to do with the story, but they have insisted on putting a washing machine noise in the background. I'm now sat, ears pricked up, wondering what is making that whirring noise in my flat. I know they're trying to authenticate real life, but that is perhaps one step too far.

If you're lucky enough to be watching a drama with no sound issues, then chances are you can't see what is actually happening. Producers don't understand that a dark drama doesn't literally mean making the picture dark. Peaky Blinders is one example, and most drama series set in the Victorian period or during the war suffer the same. There must be a compromise between authenticating life before the 100 watt bulbs and being able to actually see.

However, Sherlock is a good example of being dark. The first series was terrible. As soon as anything happens at night in Sherlock, I might as well be watching an audio book. It has no excuse either. London is a brightly-lit city. I understand all about using the senses to emulate how emotionally dark the scene might be, but I just wish they would tone it down; well, up, surely…?

And not that I have actually watched it myself, but from the clips I have seen of The Missing on BBC 1 seems to have been shot with an Instagram filter. Everything has that blueish-green tint to it. That isn't how life actually is! Well, not until they invent contact lenses that will give the normal drudgery of life that unappealing hue; if they haven't already.

So, let's assume you've found a program which you can hear and see clearly, free from anything which actually detracts from the episode. Brilliant. Expect the chances are, you already know everything that is to happen, and therefore taking away any possible sense of intrigue or peril. The trailers for programs are far too revealing, and continuity announcers say too much. I understand the desire to draw the potential viewer in, and a way of doing that is by briefly showing the best moments from the upcoming show.

The biggest recent offender, is the Doctor Who series finale. During the first episode of the two-parter, there were lots of very clever and subtle hints towards who the enemy was. 'Ah, I recognise that design… Where have I seen that before?' is what I could have been saying if I hadn't been told the week before.  At the end of the episode, there was the big reveal. That would have been a great moment, full of suspense and intrigue, if only I didn't already know it was the Cybermen. I had worked so hard to avoid all the season spoilers that existed on the Internet, content with my own guesses, to have the BBC ruin it for me instead.

Maybe continuity announcers have to reveal as much as they do, purely so the viewer can get a gist of what they're missing through inadequate sound and picture?

The Doctor at 50

I chose to stay at home to watch Saturday's episode of Doctor Who; I'll choose pizza over popcorn any day. But many others elected to sit in a cinema full of other fans, and pay to watch something they could have watched at home for free. I imagine there were moments when cinemas across the country erupted in cheers as they saw their old favourites grace the big screen.

Over 10 million UK people tuned in to watch the 50th Doctor Who episode, Day of the Doctor. However, you would be forgiven for not bothering to watching it, after the overkill lead up that we have been exposed to over the past few weeks. I enjoy Doctor Who, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't glad that the hype is finally over; at least until they want to celebrate the 75th anniversary.

We have spent six months waiting, after being teased at the end of series 7 with the words 'Introducing John Hurt as The Doctor'. As a result, Doctor Who fans have been suffering from a half-year-long headache, as we all tried to figure out what Stephen Moffat was up to. However, it has certainly been worth the wait.

Miracle Day Dragged On For Ten Weeks

The American bastardisation of what could have ended up as a British drama classic if left be, has come to the end of its first series as a coalition between two sides of the Atlantic Ocean. My initial reaction, as I stated in my blog "Americanised; Synonyms: Bastardised", which was written three episodes into the series, was not a positive one. I thought the series was slow to start and felt it had been somewhat ruined and therefore, disappointed with the whole thing. I hoped that it would pick up with excitement and the usual Torchwood charm which previous fans loved, but were my hopes fulfilled?

Yes and no. Some episodes were fast paced and exciting, and others, continued to be slow and rather boring. Some episodes were created to purely create a back story, or to create an emotional connection with a new or departing character. Some episodes seemed to be there purely as an afterthought to bridge a gap. However, there were the odd episodes that managed to grip you tightly by the attention strings and not let you go until the credits began to roll. The reason for this inconsistency seems to be because different writers wrote different episodes. Although top-guy Russell T. Davies wrote the series, he actually only wrote the opening and closing episodes for the series.

One of the major problems with the series was the characters. Captain Jack Harkness (John Barrowman) is undoubtedly the main character of Torchwood, and has been from day one. Without that character in the story, it cannot work. Jack has not had the role in this latest series that he should have had. He has been put second behind new American characters. The writers have assumed that we care about these new American members, so attach personal storylines and tragedies to them. These don't really work purely because we have not had time to get to know them. The character of Gwen has been somewhat underestimated this series too, with her not being used to her full potential, and only a handful of times does she seem to fully be the strong, independent character who we knew in the previous series. She still has those personal stories, which are there to help the audience relate to the consequences of Miracle Day however, but her strong character is under minded as a result.

Another reoccurring character who I'm not sure if we were supposed to despise or sympathise was Oswald Danes; a convicted felon who had been given the death penalty for murdering a young woman, but had survived. First we hated him. He was taking advantage of miracle day. Then he got shafted by the system that was using him, and he regularly got beaten up for no reason. Then he became selfish again and blackmailing people. Then be became a hero, before showing his true colours before finally dying. I have no idea what the writers’ purpose for that character was, and therefore, far too confusing.

We only have one episode out of the ten, which I feel felt like an original Torchwood episode. That was episode 7: "Immortal Sins". It was by far my favourite episode. The episode consisted of flashbacks of Jack's life, and  whilst in the present; he is being taken hostage by Gwen. The episode contains the only contact we have with an alien in the entire series. It is the only episode that seems to actually fully except that Jack is gay, and takes full advantage of that. Those are the four ingredients to a great, original Torchwood episode: Jack, Gwen, Aliens and outlandish gay scenes, and guns if you wish to garnish it off with a fifth ingredient. Davies seems to have completely sold out on those ingredients, which he could once put together brilliantly, just so he can have larger popularity state-side and have more money to play with.

The series itself has been over stretched too, which has completely weakened the series storyline. If we hark back to the previous series of Torchwood: Children of Earth, the storyline was squeezed to just five episodes. This series was stretched to 10 episodes, and as a result, some episodes have no purpose at all. Take the second episode where Jack and Gwen are being deported to the America in the plane flight. That flight lasted the entirety of the episode, with no relevant events actually occurring. All that footage could have been chucked in the bin, and it would have made no difference at all to the series. Those sorts of episodes, as a result, just seem to be irrelevant and an afterthought. Once again, you would have never had that with the older series of Torchwood. Every episode was exciting and gripping with an alien who promised to spark imagination and enjoyment, and maybe even an orgasm or two.

The lack of any aliens is the biggest crime for this series. Torchwood was once full of aliens. It was an extension of Doctor Who and all of their aliens, and sometimes they would overlap too. Now, they both seem like completely different shows which have nothing in common. They were once such close friends, but now, over time they have fallen apart and now keep very distant from each other. They still remember each other occasionally, but otherwise, contact between them is zilch. They have lost each other’s numbers and have no desire to get back into contact. Torchwood has changed into something different since the contact was lost, and that is shown in the lack of any alien action.

So how could they have improved the series? Aliens and more of Jack. Two simple requests, yet for some reason the writers decided to completely overlook them. I was so very disappointed in the ending when the event turned out to not be of a result of an extra-terrestrial being, but instead to be of ordinary, boring, bastard human beings. It was such a cop-out for Torchwood and Russell T. Davies.  It certainly is no longer Torchwood, but instead another spin-off going under the same alias.

Then take the series cliff-hanger. Rex, the black American, is now like Jack: indestructible and can now live forever. That is the biggest mistake of them all. The entire dynamic of the show has been altered. One of the great things about Jack is how individual he is from every other character on the show. Changing that, I think, will be the death of Torchwood. The next series could very well be its last, but maybe that isn't such a bad thing. It is painful watching Torchwood going through this painful change. Injecting American blood into something which is distinctively British through and through is causing vital organs to stop operating, and the entire body will slowly die, even if they do inject more of Jack's Miracle, life saving blood into it...

Watching Doctor Who From Behind A Brick Wall

The word 'Epic' is chucked about far too much in these modern times, and so often describing the most modern, least 'epical' of objects. Rihanna's new song is not epic. A cheese sandwich with Worcestershire sauce is not epic. A well trimmed lawn is not epic. A leap-year is not epic. Noticing the time is 11:11 am is not epic. KitKat sharing packs are not epic. Payday is not epic. However, an 8 minute prog-rock classic from the 80's which contains an entire orchestra of instrument with deep, meaningful lyrics, is epic. A long classic poem which is celebratory of a beautiful orchid by one of the vintage romantic poets, is an epic. Climbing Mount Everest using just your fingernails, is epic. The mid-series finale of the Sixth series of Doctor Who, was epic.

We're now half way through the sixth series of Doctor Who since its return to this millennium, and we're half way through Matt Smith's second series as the famous, heroic Doctor. Critics have hailed this series as being too scary and too complicated. I disagree. Yes, it's scary and very dark at frequent moments. Sometime hiding behind the sofa just isn't enough and you have to run outside and hide behind the brick wall, but that's the charm of Doctor Who. Yes, it's complicated, but only is you're multitasking. If you sit down and watch without playing about on your phone or updating your status on Facebook, you will understand it without a problem. Television seems to no longer be a form of escapism for the common person, but instead a colourful and noisy background to peoples' Tweeting activities, with them able to occasionally glance up and still understand the entire plot of Coronation Street. Doctor Who is still very much in the escapism category. It forces you to sit down and enjoy it, and if you don’t, you won't get it. Simples.

Anyway, enough about the opinions of idiotic critics, and now my opinion; which is still critical and at times, very idiotic. I have been completely disappointed by this current series of Doctor Who, but still at the same time completely gripped and loving every second of it (I did say I was still very idiotic). I think I'm disappointed because of the series being split into two. Just as you've got into it, you're chucked back outside in the pouring rain and told to wait until the autumn before you can come back. I know why Moffat has chosen to do it, and I totally agree with his thinking, the epic cliff hanger, but that's the reason for my disappointment. Last year it took about 5 episodes for me to be completely engrossed. You can't have one KitKat finger without wanting the other immediately; and I have the same opinion on the Doctor Who scheduling.

The episodes have been completely and utterly brilliant so far, and the second half promises to be just as good. The first episode back is called 'Let's Kill Hitler' for Christ's sake. How can that not be a totally brilliant, mind-boggling episode?  Anyway, let's do a quick flick through the episodes thus far:

'The Impossible Astronaut' & 'The Day of the Moon'

The Silence: Classic Alien appearance but wearing suits.  What a great foe! Now children are scared of everything they cannot remember. Now every child is scared of every noise they ever hear. The power of Doctor Who is amazing. And The Doctor; from the future; he gets shot; and he dies; PERMANTELY! Given a Viking burial. What? Mind boggled within ten minutes. We still don't know what that's all about, but I think we can make a relatively safe assumption that it's a young River Song in the astronaut outfit who shoots him. It's hard to describe the entire plot quickly, what with so much happening, but it ends with River and The Doctor sharing a kiss, just after she's killed The Silence in a really showy-off way. Other way's we're gripped into the series is that we know Amy might or might not be pregnant and we're intrigued by who the mysterious 'Eye-Patched Lady' is. Oh, and who is River Song already? Both of these episodes were written by Moffat, Doctor Who Supremo. More about him later… (Yeah, I can do cliff hangers too!)

'The Curse of the Black Spot'

This was an episode written by Stephen Thompson. This is the man who wrote the Sherlock episode which I considered to be the weakest. Unfortunately, I carry the same opinion for this episode. It seemed very anti-climax, and just a bit ridiculous I felt. I liked the idea of the 'TARDIS trio' being on a pirate ship, and seeing Amy swing from the rope as a heroine, was very pleasing to me, but it was essentially just the personal discoveries of a ruthless pirate who becomes a good Dad; too happy for me. Not dark enough. It was brilliantly performed by all involved and cleverly put together.  However, a 17th century pirate having a space ship as the ending? No, I disliked that ending.

'The Doctor's Wife'

This is my favourite episode of the series so far, just for how fantastically brilliant the idea was. This was written by Neil Gaiman, a well known writer of Sci-fi, and you can tell he is a fan of Doctor Who just by all the references to the old series, within the episode. I like episodes that use Doctor Who history. Anyway, essentially the soul of the TARDIS is put into the body of an excited woman named Idris, played by Suranne Jones. This worried me as I have somehow gained an indescribable resentment against her, which puts me off watching anything she does. However, she was perfect and demonstrated a beautiful version of what the TARDIS would be like, if it possessed a body, being true to the personality we believe her to have. The scene between the TARDIS and The Doctor in the junkyard was a great piece of television I felt too when they were arguing. I loved the darkness between Rory and Amy while running through the TARDIS corridors too; worryingly scary, but still fantastic, especially with the return of the previous TARDIS 'Desktop'. There are just so many positives about this episode. You can tell that I was very enthused by this one.

'The Rebel Flesh' & 'The Almost People'

These two episodes failed to completely grip me, and I admit to not fully understanding the entirety of both episodes due to fumbling about with the phone I brought hours before the second of these episodes, but I think that due to the fact I was just a bit bored by how drawn out it was. It was written by Matthew Graham, writer of 'Fear Her', the episode with the 2012 Olympics, back in the days of Tennant. That was quiet a thought provoking episode, and so were these episodes, essentially addressing the issue of whether man-made life would have the same rights us, a debate which can bring about fierce thoughts, which were perfectly demonstrated by this episode however. A great idea, but I feel it was a bit stretched out for two episodes, but in the same sense, if the same story was told in one episode, I'd probably complain about it being squashed. I do like it when Doctor Who reveals the greatest monsters to be a threat to humans, is in fact us.

'A Good Man Goes To War'

This being the mid-series finale, which was written by Moffat. The title of this episode was kept a secret for as long as possible, to keep the finale as much a secret as possible, and I love how enthusiastic Moffat is about keeping as much a secret for the sake of the fans, but more on that a little later. This episode had it all really; fantastically huge twists, the resolution of storylines started earlier, the creation of new captive story lines, and a huge, epic cliff hanger. The biggest of them all being that Rory and Amy now have a child, which is part Time Lord due to the child being conceived on the TARDIS in a time vortex, and it is revealed at the brutal end of the episode that River Song is Melody; the child of Rory and Amy. How do they react? We'll wait and see. It was quite a clever way of including lots of different aliens in a story without having The Doctor defeat them again, and instead having them on his side; as an army. It was the Sci-fi version of David Cameron's Big Society.

Look they're shocked! But what happens next?

It was announced last week that the Daleks were taking a holiday from Doctor Who, because they are the 'most reliably defeated enemies in the Universe' according to Moffat, and indeed he is right. He knows what he's on about. However, I do ask the question: Why bother giving the Daleks a new paint job if you're not going to take them out for a ride and show them off for a bit? I just think they should have had one big finale, before they went away for a few years, like they do in the soaps. They'll make a character have an affair and then have a miscarriage before they disappear to Spain for seven years. Where was the Doctor Who equivalent to that? Anyway, I'm not complaining too much, because that finale was pretty damn epic.

Mind you, maybe that's in comparison to what was on the TV the week before? A week when ITV had the same schedule for the entire week: Two hours of what was apparently 'British talent', intercut with half hour of the blandest and most predictable storyline within Coronation Street. What happened to soaps representing real life? Maybe they made the finale seem even better? That was perfect scheduling on behalf of the BBC.

Now, for the paragraphs you've all been waiting for: Steven Moffat. I still firmly stick to my guns about him not being the greatest writer, which I had last year. However, that hasn't been so obvious this series because he seems to have uncovered the Holy Grail of writing a fantastic, gripping Doctor Who series. He has real enthusiasm for the show, which shines through whenever he gives interviews and even when you watch his episodes. You can tell how passionate he is about Doctor Who, in how he wants to keep everything a secret. The plot for the first two episodes was leaked by some 'fans' on the Internet, and this seemed to genuinely upset him, which I find so refreshing and rather endearing. He's just a normal guy living his dream.

The cliff hanger has now been brought back to both Doctor Who, and television in general. Coronation Street do cliff hangers, but you only have to wait half hour. The American's are able to create cliff hangers that last between one series and another. Us Brit's cannot do that. Well, excluding Moffat. Every episode this series has had a cliff hanger of some kind. Some cliff hangers from this series have been 'unhung' now, but some still continue, and more created. With each episode, you gained more subtle information to allow the audience to create their own, different opinions of what the cliff hanger will result in. This makes you tune in every Saturday without fail. Now we have cliff hangers which will remain 'hanging' until the September return. Steven Moffat is fast becoming one of the greatest things to happen to British Television.

Now, I just want to cover the characters; mainly Rory. I think he is possibly the greatest companion The Doctor has ever had. This is a man who has been killed several times, been erased from existence after saving The Doctor's life, turned into plastic (Autons) and guarded the Pandorica for 2000 years as a Roman. As a character, he is pretty damn brilliant. All this while being in the shadow of Amy. A much better duo than Rose and Micky, that's for sure.

He always has the same facial expression though...

And as for Matt Smith, yesterday it was announced that he would be returning for another series, so long may the 'TARDIS trio' remain intact. Mind you, I wonder what will happen now Amy and Rory have a baby. The Universe is not a safe place for a baby, even if she is half Time Lord. We will have to just wait for September for the final six episodes of this series. Three months. It's a long old wait...

The BBC Is Value For Money. True Or False?

Everyone has their own opinion, but my answer would be 'True'. Final answer. Think back to your favourite program which is made in Britain. Think what your current, British favourite is. Now, think to what corporation made them. A few of you may answer 'Channel 4'. A fewer amount may say 'ITV'. An even fewer (and stupider) amount of people may even say 'Sky'. However, I bet the vast majority of people would actually answer with 'Yes Stuart, the corporation I am thinking of is The BBC', or something along those lines - depending on how eloquently you like to put things.

The instantly recognisable logo for The BBC

The BBC has infuriated me just the same amount of times as is has to the next man; what with the handling of 'SachsGate' (as it is now referred to as) being one of the BBC's worst mistakes. We all remember when the Media metaphorically bullied the BBC, Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross by kicking them repeatedly from their occasional moral higher-ground, just because of a series of out-of-taste answer phone messages left on the phone of Manuel from Fawlty Towers about his Granddaughter. A comedy back-fire, which instead of the BBC just shrugging it off as a mistake, decided to sack or reprimand numerous people, including Brand and Ross. All this because the stupid public believe they have a say in a huge, world-wide corporation, just because they currently have to play £145 a year, by law, to watch colour TV.

That is a lot of money, but as an 18 year old who currently lives at home with his parents, I do not have to pay that, yet. I've had 18 years of watching colour television for free. What right to I have to possess an opinion then? None really, but that has never stopped me.

The other day, I tried to think of a popular comedy sitcoms made in previous decades that have stood the test of time and remained popular for generations, that were shown and created by the BBC. I thought of lots. Only Fools And Horses, Fawlty Towers, One Foot In The Grave, Open All Hours, Blackadder, Porridge, Dad's Army, Last Of The Summer Wine, Red Dwarf, 'Allo 'Allo!, Steptoe And Son, The Royle Family, The Vicar Of Dibley, Men Behaving Badly and more, I know. Then I thought about popular sitcoms made in previous decades that have stood the test of time and remained popular for generations, which were not shown nor created by the BBC. Father Ted is the only one that really stuck out for me. ITV had George And Mildred and Rising Damp, but who watches them these days?

That story may not be as relevant in recent years, with Channel 4 now making Sitcoms as notably good as the BBC, during the 00's. Channel Four have brought us Peep Show, The IT Crowd, Phoenix Nights, Black Books, Spaced and The Inbetweeners. ITV have done nothing worth cheering about. In fact, should you think about it too much, you will soon start crying. The BBC recently have had Outnumbered, The Mighty Boosh, The Office, Gavin And Stacy, My Family, Not Going Out and The Thick Of It, to name the most popular.

The BBC does lots more. Whether you like them or not, they constantly bring us brand new dramas which are just as gripping. They capture the audience whether they are a small child or a person knocking on the gates of heaven. I will just say two words: 'Doctor' and 'Who'. A program which is basically set around an alien, who looks exactly like a human man, moving around the Universe in a blue box with a light on it, and defeats other, nastier aliens with help of people who represent British culture of the time.

Vintage Doctor Who Logo

You can say whatever you like about the BBC, but just remember who still continues to create the longest serving, most popular drama which has the power to grip people across the globe, and still keep it fresh. Doctor Who is a significant part of British popular culture, and has inspired and gripped countless numbers of people and is the big must-see television favourite, and has lasted 769 episodes, with lots more upcoming. Name another British Television Corporation that has done that. Exactly, you can't, can you? Would any other channel even attempt to do something to that scale? Do you still want to argue that the BBC isn't value for money?

Fine. I will name two more television shows which are on the BBC. Have I Got News For You and Qi. Just between those two shows, the BBC achieves its three main goals to: Entertain, Inform and Educate. The Government says it has to do those three things for it to receive its public funding; and it does that easily. Also, to Inform and Educate people while Entertaining the audience and making them laugh, is quite challenge. No other British channel really has shows which can do that. Well, apart from Dave, but that’s only because they’re showing BBC shows. Think about it - without the BBC, the channel Dave would not be able to exist. Without the existence of Top Gear alone, the schedules on Dave would be empty.

Still not convinced? CBBC and Cbeebies. Without those two channels, Children would be stuck with Disney, Boomerang and Nickelodeon, and our children would grow up being stupid and stuck with American values. Trust me - we do NOT want that. I know the BBC show American Children's shows like Arthur and Scooby Doo, but they vary their range. There are those programs which are just really fun with no hidden motive to educate, then you have the ones which do. My prime example is Horrible Histories; a program which teaches children about history in a very funny way. I watch it. I consider it be of a better quality to many comedy shows on TV now. As a BBC 2 Sketch show, it would work well.

Vintage logo for what is now 'CBBC'

CBBC shaped me to be the person I am today. Some may say an angry, cynical teenage boy isn't a good thing to be, but that is beside the point. Watching Arthur everyday made me who I am. Enjoying Postman Pat made me who I am. Fireman Sam made me the person I am today. Even Pingu has made me the person I am. Blue Peter has made me the person I am today. Thanks to that show and their constant appeals, I have learned that if I don't do anything, other people will and charity still wins. It made the lazy man I have become.

Still not convinced aye? Radio. The BBC spurts out 12 different radio stations, all transmitting different genres of music, interesting facts, amusing shows and high-brow debates amongst the middle classes, through the airways of both the analogue and digital type. You cannot get that type of varied entertainment anywhere else. I can switch between Chris Moyles or Chris Evans in the car of a morning and I can listen to these high-brow debates amongst the middle classes on Radio 2 during my travels in the day. I can then come home and listen to the laugh-out-loud 'I'm Sorry I Haven't Got A Clue’ on Radio 4's iPlayer. You cannot tell me all that variety, plus all their TV channels and excellent shows, their news coverage, website and iPlayer systems are not worth the money we pay them. Well, you can try, but I will brand you an ignorant, naive liar!

Just a side note on the business of Chris Moyles having a rant about his pay on his breakfast show: I believe he is more than entitled to do so. That is partly because I believe people should rant more in the mornings as it is a way of engaging and stimulating the brain, but that isn't the main reason. He hadn't been paid for a few months due to a technical error. Now, it doesn't matter how much you earn, you still deserve to be paid for the job you do. I don't think there are many people who would wake up early in the morning and go to work - every single day still, despite not receiving a wage for months. I think he should be praised for his loyalty, and if it takes a rant to sort it out, then let him. Anyway, back on topic.

Not on my side yet? Fine - two words. 'Monty Python'. Maybe it requires a slightly acquired taste of humour, but one of the greatest comedy sketch shows to come out. Their jokes have remained popular and overly quoted for some 40 years. This isn't the only great comedy sketch show to come out of the BBC. The Two Ronnies is another great example. Yet again their sketches remain popular and relevant today. Other comedy acts like Eric And Ernie or Vic And Bob have come from the BBC, all popular and well liked and watched during their popularity hype. You cannot say that the BBC are of no worth, when they are pretty much the only producers of decent comedy on the television, for our nation.

Still not agreeing with me? The charity work they do - the BBC use hours upon hours of their scheduling for charity-related shows. Sport Relief, Red Nose Day and Children In Need are all things you will see on television annually. Without questioning, they have top celebrities helping out. They will always have the number in the corner of the screen, urging people to donate money. They raise absolutely millions of pounds of charity - in just the one evening. Granted, that money comes from us the general public, but I doubt us idiots would even contemplate it without any of that charade sometimes. Remember all the charity events you have watched on the BBC. Now, if that doesn't sway you - then God will hate you. And if you don't believe in God - Cheryl Cole won't believe in you; and if she doesn't believe in you - you know you're in trouble...

The slightly older logo for Children In Need

You can live with God hating and Cheryl Cole not believing in you, can you? You still don't believe the BBC is worth the money? I'll pull out my top trump then. Adverts. Everyone complains about adverts. Just as a show gets to a good bit; they cut to an advert. The adverts are full complete rubbish, all advertising their cosmetic lies and poisonous chemicals that only kill 99.9% of bacteria. The BBC, have none; apart from a minute between shows, to advertise their own shows. They have no adverts. What would Chris Tarrant do if Who Wants To Be A Millionaire was a BBC show? He would never be able to say the words everyone hates 'We'll find out in a minute'. Well, he could I suppose, but he'd have to get up and dance to fill the time - and if he done that every week, we'd hate him. A lot.

You see, by paying the BBC this £145 a year, we have no adverts. We have top quality programming. We have a range of formats from Radio, to Internet, to TV. We have a range in shows from Classical music to the ridiculous BBC 3 documentaries of the absurd. It doesn't matter about your opinions of one particular show, because with this huge range they have on all of their media formats, everyone is bound to find shows they love on the BBC. I mean - Doctor Who. It’s a top quality show with some truly awe-inspiring special effects and some mostly great writing. That can be said for so many of their shows.

All the other channels in the UK only exist by paying top talents like Ant and Dec millions of pounds annually to front their shows or by showing American shows. They don't really create anything that can stand the test of time and that can set a person’s imagination running wild. The BBC do. Sure, they do show American shows, but they level it out with their ability to create this top class, popular, well created shows which do inspire people everywhere, and indeed inspire me.

So, next time you want to complain about the BBC and the money they receive, and the next time you read in a tabloid newspaper that the BBC are a waste of tax-payers money, remember all the things they have given you; either present of many years ago in the golden age of comedy. Think for yourselves you idiots! You don't have to have the same opinion that the Newspapers tell you to have - or in fact what I tell you to say. You don’t have to listen (read) to a word I have said (typed). However, I do fell I stated a very strong case for the BBC and how they are worth every penny, and don't deserve to have millions of pounds cut from their budget by the Conservative Party.

Also, remember to pay your license fee!

P.S. If you wanted to listen to a catchy musical version of this blog, listing reasons to be proud of the BBC, then you should probably listen to this if you haven't done so already: Mitch Benn - Proud Of The BBC.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3q2iZuU5WM

The Reincarnation Of Sherlock Holmes

A few weeks ago, 'Sherlock' appeared on our television screens for three weeks on BBC 1. Now, I have not actually had any real previous exposure to Sherlock Holmes stories, television or film adaptations for me to compare this recent reincarnation of the detective to. In comparison, it may be complete rubbish, but without a comparison I thought it to be absolutely brilliant.

I had a few doubts about it though. The adverts made it look really cool and interesting, which was great, but it was written by Steven Moffat (Doctor Who writer) and Mark Gattis (Actor/Writer for Doctor Who and of other stuff). Those of you, who have read my numerous, recent Doctor Who blogs, will be aware that I am not exactly keen on Moffat's writing. The other doubt being that it had been modernised. 'An old classic that been modernised and bastardised' was my initial thought of what it would be. Writer's have a habit of doing that of late; Old books and movies, being updated to appeal to the modern audience.

These doubts disappeared after the first 20 minutes of the first episode. If you look closely, there is that element of Doctor Who within the character of Sherlock Holmes, and the general writing. Benedict Cumberbatch plays the role of an odd, brilliant man very well, and Martin Freeman is rather good at playing the 'sidekick' Dr. John Watson; a part Matt Smith originally went for before becoming the Doctor. Anyway, Benedict and Martin seemed to work quiet well with each other, and although being massively updated, still managed to keep true to the original stories.

Just little things like Dr Watson being injured in Afghanistan in the original Conan Doyle's stories, fits in perfectly with our current state of affairs, and of course Freeman's adaptation had been injured in service in Afghanistan. Also, the fact they live at the same address on Bakers Street, London and Sherlock Holmes's brother Mycroft, played by Mark Gatiss, return in the adaptation.

Cumberbatch and Freeman, in the guise of Sherlock and Watson, at the famous address

As for the episodes, it is a similar tale to Doctor Who. I only really enjoyed two of the three episodes. However, would you believe it, the episode that I preferred was actually the one written by Steven Moffat, which was the first episode. The other episode I liked was mainly written by Mark Gatiss, which was the finale. The episode I didn't like was the second, written by guest writer Stephen Thompson. So, from the fact I much prefer Moffat’s writing for Sherlock than in Doctor Who, we can conclude that Moffat should give up on Doctor Who and concentrate more on writing for Sherlock.

If he did that, I am sure he could improve on it massively. Only three episodes in the series? You wouldn't expect that treatment in America. I want the series to go on for weeks and week and weeks. Also, shorten the length of the episodes. Produce more, shorter episodes. 90 minute long episodes work, but by the end you tend to tire of it. Produce 13, 60 minute episodes. Moffat is a fantastic writer, when doing the right stuff. He should give Doctor Who to someone else and go for Sherlock, just like I said at the end of the previous paragraph; just to emphasis the point.

The first episode, which was written by the Moffat and entitled 'A Study In Pink', I actually really enjoyed. Even someone like me with no previous experience with Sherlock Holmes could tell you that we were introduced to someone who everyone could identify as Holmes. The only bad thing about the episode, but classic of Moffat's writing, is that I worked out the killer half hour before Sherlock Holmes. I wasn't the only one, I'm aware of lots of people who worked out that the murderer would be a Taxi Driver. However, at the end of the 90 minutes, you felt as if you had really gotten to know the characters, like you would after a few episodes, which certainly is a credit to Moffat.

The second episode, written by a little known man called 'Stephen Thompson which was called 'The Blind Banker', was the weakest of the three stories. Again, everyone had an idea of who the killer was before Sherlock. The problem with them having different writer’s, is that the characters seemed a bit different in the second story and is taking a different angel, a weakness of numerous writers and the episode didn't seem to fit.

The third episode, written by Mark Gatiss was called 'The Great Game'. Now, between this episode and the first, there were numerous links and they fitted with each other better; which just emphasis's the point that Gatiss and Moffat should work together on writing Sherlock, and not get in other writers. This episode however, was fantastic in allowing the audience to fully understand the character of Sherlock Holmes and fully appreciate his mind power. It is an episode in which Sherlock has to solve numerous puzzles in order to save people’s lives, and with it being much more fast paced, it just came across as a great episode.

Sherlock Holmes has been updated a lot, with Laptop's, iPhone's and Blackberry's being used throughout the stories and also includes a lot of travel by taxi, in which he seems to think and work things out. Of course, he still has the old resource of books, but it has been modernised with care. You almost begin to believe that if Conan Doyle was alive today and writing the Sherlock Holmes books, it is how he would have written them, with new technologies aiding him. I have read rather a lot of reviews, because I am very intrigued as to what other people thought, and there seems to be a general thumbs up.

Hardly any reviews I have read, comment on how the modernisation has ruined the classic stories. Most people agree that it is in keeping with the original stories. There does seem to be rather a lot of love for it, which is fantastic. I honestly think that if the BBC approaches the new series right, they could have another hit, just like Doctor Who, on their hands. The new series does need to have shorter, but more episodes in my opinion for it to work. Only three episodes? By the time I got my teeth gripped into it, it just ends. The BBC also need to make sure they don't have guest writers, and they make Moffat and Gatiss write the entire lot; just to emphasis and repeat the same point yet once more.

Dramatic walking through the streets of London

So, essentially my conclusion is that Moffat should stop writing Doctor Who and give that to someone else, and just focus on Sherlock. He clearly produces better work for that project. I am so very pleased the BBC has commissioned another series. Makes a change from the usual crap they commission.

Now, I feel I should make an attempt at starting to read the original books and stories. I feel I have missed out, and if I am enjoying this new version, imagine the fun I could have if I actually read the original written by one of our most famous writers. Sherlock Holmes in my opinion is next to James Bond in the list of characters from English literature that have become quintessential characters of our every day-to-day life. Very important and should be remembered in both their original and new forms, forever, and for many generations to come.

The Regenerated Doctor: Twelve Episodes On. Part II

I feel I should say, just to clear up the confusion from the past blog; I have completely enjoyed this series of Doctor Who. It seems to have grown up a bit; with it being that slight bit darker (despite the odd cheesy bits) and I have enjoyed this series the most so far. I never really got into Ecclestone and Piper's series. Tennant and Piper seemed all a bit fake. Tennant and Agyeman never really worked. Tennant and Tate worked well, but not for a Sci-fi series; maybe a comedy drama. Smith and Gillan seem to have worked the best since it's revival in 2005. The idea of the stories have been fantastic too, and of course a lot of them ideas have come from the head of Moffat, but what my point was in the last blog, was that I did prefer the episodes that were not written by Moffat, but not in any way saying Moffat was 'shit'. I hope that is now clear.

The way I'm going to do this is a ‘short’ paragraph about each of the episodes, giving my opinion. Feel free to disagree with me - they are only my OPINIONS.

Health Warning: Make sure you rest your eyes regularly as this is a long blog. Sorry.

Episode One: The Eleventh Hour.

As opening episodes go, it was actually rather good. Infact, I may go as far as to say 'fantastic'. As an episode on its own, it worked very well, and Moffat done a very good job at writing it and introducing the new Doctor and new characters. In terms of setting up for the rest of the series and the series finale, it was great; without us even knowing, we are told of all this information which helps us as the audience piece together throughout the episodes. Great skill in my opinion. Also, casting Karen Gillan's cousin to play the young Amy Pond was actually quite a good idea, and we are introduced to her, so we recognise her character in later episodes. It is a real introduction into what we can expect.

Episode Two: The Beast Below.

In terms of it being the first episode with Matt Smith and Karen Gillan being away from Earth and fighting something unknown, it wasn't great and a bit disappointing. This episode too was written by Moffat. Again, I cannot quite fathom what it is about it I do not like. I personally think the idea was not big enough to be Amy Pond's first adventure. It was a great idea and quite thought-provoking about how us as human's think we're superior. It was good for us learning about Amy's character, but the idea just was not big enough.

Episode Three: Victory Of The Daleks.

Well, it was a waste of an episode really in terms of storyline. It was the first episode of the series not written by Moffat, and instead by Mark Gatiss. I absolutely LOVED the idea of Winston Churchill wanting to use the Daleks to win the war, it was just a shame it didn't play a bigger part in the episode. I did enjoy it though, I am just being negative and cynical, but there is more of that to come. Fighter Jets being able to fly into space and attack the Dalek spaceship? I did think that was a slightly silly idea. Inventive, but silly. Also, new Doctor means new Daleks (apparently). These Daleks seem to resemble the new sleek and colourful cars we see, and if you put a Dalek and Ford KA together, they would be hard to distinguish. They may be bigger and fierce, but they have essentially been made plastic and colourful to make them more commercial, so they can be made into little toys like Thomas the Tank Engine. I did enjoy the episode however - although you wouldn't believe it by this paragraph.

Episodes Four & Five: The Time Of The Angels & Flesh And Stone.

The first two parter, and it was written by Moffat. With the return of the Weeping Angels and River Song, it was an amalgamation of four of his previous best episodes into one story. Just to prove I am not negative towards Moffat, I did nearly like these two episodes. However, the Weeping Angels are considered to be the scariest aliens of the new era of Doctor Who, with them being everyday objects which attack when people blink or cannot be seen. 'Blink' was one of the scariest episodes for children, and yet in this episode, it was not used to its full potential. However, as episodes go, it still was actually quite good, despite the first episode being ruined by a cartoon Graham Norton. Those little banners are incredibly annoying in any television show, so doing it in the final, dramatic scene of the episode is 'a travesty' and ‘Why don’t the BBC just wipe shit all over the screen during the final scene of Dr.Who next week?’ to quote Charlie Brooker.

Episode Six: The Vampires Of Venice.

Okay, I liked this episode greatly because of Rory. His introduction and development during this episode I actually really liked. However, remember this episode was not typed from the fingers of Moffat, but instead by Toby Whithouse. The introduction to the episode was pure brilliance, with The Doctor jumping out of a cake during Rory's stag do, and just fumbling around the place. It was a shame that Doctor Who has joined in with the recent hype of Vampire's, but as usual, they put a different twist on the whole idea; fish creatures from another planet coming to Earth to find women to help reproduce their species. It was a fine example of Doctor Who explaining something that was unexplained in human history.

Episode Seven: Amy's Choice.

My second favourite episode of the series, and guess what - it wasn't written by Moffat, but instead by Simon Nye, a comedian who has history in Doctor Who. 'The Dream Lord' was a great idea, and also the thought of coming from the dark impulses of The Doctor, which it was suggested as being, was pretty clever. Swapping between two life-threatening scenarios, in which they had to decide which was real. One included the TARDIS crashing into a freezing star, the other with a pregnant Amy and being chased by Old People. I actually LOVED the idea. Also, for you fact-fans reading this blog, if you recognised the voice of the Dream Lord, it was because the actor Toby Jones, does the voice for Dobby the House Elf in Harry Potter. Cool aye?

Episodes Eight & Nine: The Hungry Earth & Cold Blood.

The second of the two parters, and this one was not written by Moffat, but instead by Chris Chibnall, who is the head writer of Torchwood. I enjoyed these - actually a lot, and I was truly gripped. The Silurians returned from the original series, and these were creatures that live in the centre of Earth, that once ruled planet Earth. They are great 'aliens' and I love the idea. This too was a good example of Doctor Who reflecting a mirror to the attitudes of the Human Race and us hating any form of change. Two clever episodes, and I think they were absolutely great. Also, I rather like the idea of us sharing the Earth with creatures of similar intelligence in 1000 years... Was a shame about Rory dying, but because it had no build up, it was predictable that he was going to return.

Episode Ten: Vincent And The Doctor.

It was my favourite episode of Doctor Who - possibly ever! Helped by the fact it was written by Richard Curtis, God of the cheesy comedy writing and one of my writing 'inspirations'. Anyway, there are not many things on Television that can bring me to tears, but, and I am not ashamed to admit it, I had a tear in my eye during the final scenes with Vincent in the art gallery. I have a prejudice towards Doctor Who episodes meeting famous historical characters like Agatha Christie, Shakespeare and Charles Dickens, so I was expecting to hate this episode, so the surprise of me loving it, was brilliant. They could have taken it further with the monster, with this episode being mainly about Gough and his torment, but it really did work. The scenes with Matt Smith fighting an invisible alien were also quite good.

Episode Eleven: The Lodger.

I liked and it wasn't written by Moffat, but instead by Gareth Roberts. I did love the idea of The Doctor becoming stuck on Earth and having to interact with normal everyday day-to-day life on Earth, by moving into a flat and playing football. It was a humorous episode, but lacked the sci-fi edge; that was thrown in for the last 10 minutes of the episode. The episode bumps off the recent popularity around James Cordon, and has the classic storyline of two best friends being in love, which always makes me laugh. However, like I said, it didn't really focus on the alien and Sci-Fi element of the show until the final 10 minutes, so as a storyline for Doctor Who, was kind of weak.

The Finale: Episodes Twelve & Thirteen: The Pandorica Opens & The Big Bang.

We return to Moffat's writing, and as Moffat's writing goes, this wasn't 'alf bad. My liking of this episode can be explained by the fact he didn't write it entirely on his own however. With the first episode being set in Roman times and around Stonehenge, I really liked it. Obviously, because Moffat wrote it, River Song returned yet again, and as I predicted, so did Rory. As I said earlier, I love the episodes of Doctor Who when they give an explanation for an unexplained phenomenon, and Stonehenge is a prime example. Loved it, and I never expected the Pandorica being for him. It was a fantastic build up with lots of alien action - including the Cybermen, which happen to be my favourite Doctor Who aliens.

The second episode was also fantastic, but if I am brutally honest, and I am going to be disliked for this, but I was disappointed. I loved The Doctor flitting between two different times in the episode, and it was great recognising him later in the episode. Rory was great, as were the two Amy's and Matt Smith was really good. The faults for me were them not making a bigger thing out of 'Nile Penguins' and 'Himalayan Pharaohs', in which you probably won't be aware of unless you watched Confidential. The idea was that the stars changed reality, so penguins lived in Egypt for example. That was a great piece of the story. Also, I was disappointed with the INCREDIBLY cheesy ending of the Doctor being brought back by a memory. There are probably poor children desperately trying to remember their grandparents to bring them back thanks to that. Anyway, I disliked the cheesiness of it. Forgetting that, I thought the episode itself was brilliant, and Matt Smith's dancing made it worthwhile.

I am also, slightly disappointed by the lack of any new aliens or brand new planets. The Weeping Angels episode, which was easily filmed in a quarry and a British Spaceship in the second episode, were the only episodes not based on Earth. There were no big, impressive CGI planets and sceneries. Also, there were no new, big aliens which required imagination. Apart from changing the design of the Daleks and Silurians, there were no new, impressive aliens. An alien that is invisible for a huge majority of an episode? Well, that's imaginative.

However, I love it when Doctor Who makes everyday objects scary for children. Essentially, that has made up for the lack of big aliens and planets, by imaginatively making everyday objects scary. Kids have had Statues, Cracks in walls, Old People and even the ground to be scared of after this series. Small ideas which are great. I feel sorry for any children that go on a day trip to an old castle with their parents this summer. Old castles generally have cracks in walls, statues, Old people walking around and are surrounded by lots of ground.

Something else I haven't quite liked is the return of River Song. I find her character just too complex. Why can she not just have a normal timeline like every other character? I spend episodes trying to work out at what point in her timeline with the Doctor we are at. I just find her far too complex. What race is she? We don’t know, and in my head, the fact that she is a time traveller, makes me wonder if she too is a Time Lord... I just don't know, and I don't like not knowing. I do not doubt her returning in the next series, because there are many questions still unanswered, for example: Does she marry the Doctor? Does she kill the Doctor?

My problem is that I don't just sit down and enjoy TV, but I am constantly ready to negatively criticise, which does annoy me, but despite all this negativity I seem to have against this series of Doctor Who and Moffat's writing, I honestly have loved this series! Matt Smith WILL shape up to be the best since Tom Baker.

As for the Christmas Special, not much has been released so far. All we know is that it includes Amy and Rory’s honeymoon, Michael Gambon and Katherine Jenkins. I assume that’s good. Anyway...

Long live Matt Smith!

P.S. If you have just read this entire blog, the next website you visit should be Vision Express to book an appointment to get your eyes checked. I am so very sorry! http://www.visionexpress.com/book-eye-test/