April: The Month Stuff Happened

Well, I suppose April 2013 will be written in quite a few history books over the years. Some might say that it hasn't exactly been a slow news month. This month has seen my Godson turn 1, the upgrading of our Broadband package and me getting a few articles published in a local newspaper. As important as these things are to me, they are not events that are going to make it into the history books.

One of the most devastating stories was the Boston bombs on the 15th of April. The tragic scenes were shared around the world within minutes, and thanks to the Internet, I had pictures filling up my Twitter feed. I love being on Twitter to watch stories like this develop, however, it is never long before people start making inappropriate jokes and flexing their Photoshop skills. Things inevitably begin to turn ugly, and soon you can't believe anything. As someone else rather eloquently put it:

Twitter does its best work in the first five minutes after a disaster, and its worst in the twelve hours after that.
— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) April 15, 2013

Miracle Day Dragged On For Ten Weeks

The American bastardisation of what could have ended up as a British drama classic if left be, has come to the end of its first series as a coalition between two sides of the Atlantic Ocean. My initial reaction, as I stated in my blog "Americanised; Synonyms: Bastardised", which was written three episodes into the series, was not a positive one. I thought the series was slow to start and felt it had been somewhat ruined and therefore, disappointed with the whole thing. I hoped that it would pick up with excitement and the usual Torchwood charm which previous fans loved, but were my hopes fulfilled?

Yes and no. Some episodes were fast paced and exciting, and others, continued to be slow and rather boring. Some episodes were created to purely create a back story, or to create an emotional connection with a new or departing character. Some episodes seemed to be there purely as an afterthought to bridge a gap. However, there were the odd episodes that managed to grip you tightly by the attention strings and not let you go until the credits began to roll. The reason for this inconsistency seems to be because different writers wrote different episodes. Although top-guy Russell T. Davies wrote the series, he actually only wrote the opening and closing episodes for the series.

One of the major problems with the series was the characters. Captain Jack Harkness (John Barrowman) is undoubtedly the main character of Torchwood, and has been from day one. Without that character in the story, it cannot work. Jack has not had the role in this latest series that he should have had. He has been put second behind new American characters. The writers have assumed that we care about these new American members, so attach personal storylines and tragedies to them. These don't really work purely because we have not had time to get to know them. The character of Gwen has been somewhat underestimated this series too, with her not being used to her full potential, and only a handful of times does she seem to fully be the strong, independent character who we knew in the previous series. She still has those personal stories, which are there to help the audience relate to the consequences of Miracle Day however, but her strong character is under minded as a result.

Another reoccurring character who I'm not sure if we were supposed to despise or sympathise was Oswald Danes; a convicted felon who had been given the death penalty for murdering a young woman, but had survived. First we hated him. He was taking advantage of miracle day. Then he got shafted by the system that was using him, and he regularly got beaten up for no reason. Then he became selfish again and blackmailing people. Then be became a hero, before showing his true colours before finally dying. I have no idea what the writers’ purpose for that character was, and therefore, far too confusing.

We only have one episode out of the ten, which I feel felt like an original Torchwood episode. That was episode 7: "Immortal Sins". It was by far my favourite episode. The episode consisted of flashbacks of Jack's life, and  whilst in the present; he is being taken hostage by Gwen. The episode contains the only contact we have with an alien in the entire series. It is the only episode that seems to actually fully except that Jack is gay, and takes full advantage of that. Those are the four ingredients to a great, original Torchwood episode: Jack, Gwen, Aliens and outlandish gay scenes, and guns if you wish to garnish it off with a fifth ingredient. Davies seems to have completely sold out on those ingredients, which he could once put together brilliantly, just so he can have larger popularity state-side and have more money to play with.

The series itself has been over stretched too, which has completely weakened the series storyline. If we hark back to the previous series of Torchwood: Children of Earth, the storyline was squeezed to just five episodes. This series was stretched to 10 episodes, and as a result, some episodes have no purpose at all. Take the second episode where Jack and Gwen are being deported to the America in the plane flight. That flight lasted the entirety of the episode, with no relevant events actually occurring. All that footage could have been chucked in the bin, and it would have made no difference at all to the series. Those sorts of episodes, as a result, just seem to be irrelevant and an afterthought. Once again, you would have never had that with the older series of Torchwood. Every episode was exciting and gripping with an alien who promised to spark imagination and enjoyment, and maybe even an orgasm or two.

The lack of any aliens is the biggest crime for this series. Torchwood was once full of aliens. It was an extension of Doctor Who and all of their aliens, and sometimes they would overlap too. Now, they both seem like completely different shows which have nothing in common. They were once such close friends, but now, over time they have fallen apart and now keep very distant from each other. They still remember each other occasionally, but otherwise, contact between them is zilch. They have lost each other’s numbers and have no desire to get back into contact. Torchwood has changed into something different since the contact was lost, and that is shown in the lack of any alien action.

So how could they have improved the series? Aliens and more of Jack. Two simple requests, yet for some reason the writers decided to completely overlook them. I was so very disappointed in the ending when the event turned out to not be of a result of an extra-terrestrial being, but instead to be of ordinary, boring, bastard human beings. It was such a cop-out for Torchwood and Russell T. Davies.  It certainly is no longer Torchwood, but instead another spin-off going under the same alias.

Then take the series cliff-hanger. Rex, the black American, is now like Jack: indestructible and can now live forever. That is the biggest mistake of them all. The entire dynamic of the show has been altered. One of the great things about Jack is how individual he is from every other character on the show. Changing that, I think, will be the death of Torchwood. The next series could very well be its last, but maybe that isn't such a bad thing. It is painful watching Torchwood going through this painful change. Injecting American blood into something which is distinctively British through and through is causing vital organs to stop operating, and the entire body will slowly die, even if they do inject more of Jack's Miracle, life saving blood into it...

Americanised; Synonyms: Bastardised

What is Torchwood without people having group orgies with Aliens in the public toilets of Cardiff, before disintegrating into dust at the point of orgasm? Well, it isn't Torchwood without that. So, what is this show that is currently airing on BBC 1 on a Thursday evening under the name of Torchwood? Well, from what I can deduce, the only recognisable metaphor that could be used to describe this series is to compare it to 'a wolf in sheep's clothing'. It LOOKS like Torchwood, but it isn't Torchwood. It has the two main characters that we recognise as being Torchwood. It has scenes filmed in Cardiff. It has jokes about Cardiff. It has a supernatural storyline which is very, very intriguing and well portrayed, as well as being written by Russell T. Davies. However, from then on, it fails to be anything like the Torchwood that we British fans loved.

This program then, which is hiding under the alias of Torchwood, is brilliant, which makes it terrible. Doesn't make sense huh? Well, I shall explain my problem. Torchwood was originally this brilliant piece of British Drama, which was uniquely British with its humour, captivating (if not eccentric) stories and great characters. This Torchwood 'season' is a co-production between Britain and America. Torchwood now loses everything that was so unique about it when it was set purely in Cardiff. The British humour is sacrificed for the American audience, which is the main problem. However, the fact it is half American, means that the drama element of the program is great. The American's are creating the best quality programming at the moment by far, in all genres. How can their input in British programming be considered as a bad thing? It can't; but it is in Torchwood.

Still not getting me are you? Well, take this is an extreme example to illustrate my point. You can't all-of-a-sudden relocate Coronation Street to a French town and expect it to appeal to the same audience and remain just as popular. Torchwood worked because it was set in Cardiff. You can't all-of-a-sudden relocate Torchwood to America and expect it to appeal to the same audience and remain just as popular (however, viewing figures disprove me thus far).

I personally think that in this 'season' so far (three episodes in), they have focused far too much on building up characters and their own separate stories. The story has been heavily sacrificed as a result, as has the Torchwood feel. The first two episodes particularly were very slow in events actually happening, apart from the odd five minutes which end up being an anti-climax. I think the entirety of the second episode was completely pointless, and to me it just seems like it was a rushed afterthought. The idea seems weakly developed with pointless events thrown in, such as the drugging of Captain Jack, to provide false climax.

I will give credit where credit is due; the third episode was a lot better with it having a quicker pace, but still, there are just pointless interactions between characters which just do not need to happen and add absolutely nothing to the story. They may as well show a still image of the words 'Torchwood' for five minutes every so often. The third episode also had a slight original Torchwood feel to it, with some of the characters having sex. This makes me sound like a homosexual pervert, but as soon as there was a scene with Captain Jack about to have gay sex, I felt that just MAYBE, it was about to feel like Torchwood again. However, then there were some more pointless exchanges with some pointless American actors and it was ruined.

It's the American element of the show that I absolutely hate. Well, hate is a strong word. The Sci-fi element of the show has diminished, with it just being an obscure storyline, just like the American's 'The Event'; it's nothing but a drama about a fictional event. I want supernatural events and aliens, like the first three series of Torchwood. If this 'Miracle Day' doesn't end up being caused by an intergalactic being, I will be very unhappy. Torchwood and Russell T. Davies have sold out, just so they can have more money, and if they sacrifice the original roots of being a Doctor Who spin-off, for bigger, richer roots, then they would be the biggest sell-outs since Green Day went mainstream or when Nick Clegg had a lobotomy if favour of political power.

Anyway, maybe I'm being over critical too early. We're only three episodes into a 'season' of ten episodes. Incidentally, that's another reason for hating the Americanisation of Torchwood. They call it a season, but we Brits call it a series, so the American's ruined that too. Anyway, it might get more entertaining and it may not bother me so much as the SERIES goes on. Fingers crossed...

P.S. Both 'Americanisation' and 'Bastardisation' are spelt with S's, not Z's. It's called English, so therefore you should abide by the same rules as the English... Bloody Americans!

If Only Diana Were Alive!

Everything for the past few weeks has been to do with the Royal Wedding. Prince William and Kate (From today called Catherine) have made their vows and tied the metaphorical knot of marriage, unless Westminster Abbey was blown up and I didn’t get chance to remove this blog before it posted at it’s scheduled time of course (if that is the case, I apologise for my insensitivity). Anyway, let’s assume they haven’t been horrifically murdered.

Is it just me who thinks this looks like a promotional shot for a new Doctor Who alien?

Every media outlet has been bursting with excitement at this event. The news has interviewed Kate Middleton’s distant family who own chips shops and interviewing people she went to school with to find out what kind of girl she was. The news has covered all the preparation details from policemen checking drains for bombs and transatlantic TV channels setting up a media centre not far from Buckingham Palace. People watch the news to get updates on the days national and international events; not speculation about a wedding. There’s been speculation about what the wedding dress will look like, and whether she’ll wear long or short arms. Phoooar, I hoped she was to wear short sleeves; nothing like a bit of Royal elbow action!

We’ve had predictions about the weather, which I predict will have undoubtedly been wrong. There have been rumours of what David Cameron will wear. The SkyHDCopter has been circling the route for the past week, to needlessly pump fumes into the Ozone Layer and achieve very little else. Obviously, there have been many comparisons to Diana. There verb ‘commoner’ has insultingly been continuously used to describe Kate Middleton, and the emphasis has repeatedly been that on the 29th of April 2011, she becomes something meaningful – a Princess. Prince Harry dated a girl named ‘Chelsy’. Princess Chelsy. Now, that’s common. Kate is not.

This wedding has rekindled the argument of whether we, as a nation, still need a monarchy. Notice that only idiots say ‘No’ in that debate. The people that think we shouldn’t have a monarchy are the same people that idolise Katie Price and her weddings. At least Royal Weddings happen infrequently instead of it being a bi-annual event.

I would never use the word ‘Royalist’ to describe myself. I’m not their biggest fan. I haven’t got a display cabinet in my house which is full of Royal memorabilia like a mug for the Queen’s coronation or a plate with the face of Prince Charles and Diana on it and nor am I gaining an erection at the chance to buy more Royal wedding memorabilia. I just appreciate the history of our country, which always remains synonymous with the Royal family. Almost the entire World appreciates it, apart from the infuriatingly ignorant disciples of Katie Price.

Imagine a World where Britain never had a monarchy. England wouldn’t have its beautiful castles or other classic British attractions. Fairy Stories would involve back alleys instead of a Prince wooing his Princess. Disney wouldn’t have its Disney Princess franchise (This surprisingly upsets me). We Brits would be much more like Europe. Visitors wouldn’t flock to our country, and therefore we would be skint. Money would look a lot different. And the most horrifying: Blackadder may have never existed!

Okay, they are not the greatest reasons ever, but they should be carefully considered before we even embark on hinting at the possibility of starting to think about the removal of our Royals. Britain without a monarchy is like a dog without a bone: It will survive, but it would lose its spirit and never quite be the same again.

And Diana. We wouldn’t have idolised her if it wasn’t for the Royal Family! We wouldn’t have had a week of national mourning when she was killed in a tunnel in France. We wouldn’t find all the jokes about her death funny because we wouldn’t have a clue of who she was. Mind you, if it wasn’t for the Royal family, one could probably argue she would still be alive, but instead working as a checkout girl at Asda. Swings and roundabout aye?

So, the People’s Princess has been dead for over a decade, and we have slowly lost faith in our monarchy and its usefulness. Maybe Princess Catherine will tug on the nations Heartstrings to become the next Queen of our Hearts. Mind you, the Queen does have no power. All the decisions are made by the politicians and she just sits there pretending to care and nodding at the appropriate times.

We all secretly love the Queen though. It’s like the way we love our Mum’s. We have no actual reason to love them, but they’ve always been there and we know that society says we should, so we do. It’s instinctive, maternal love. We should take great pride in our Queen. We don’t have enough pride for her these days. We seem to have evolved into a cynical, stoical nation of people. And how many people actually know our National Anthem? Not many. Not even I know it. It should have been compulsorily taught to us in Primary school, along with the association of characters to letters of the alphabet, like Kicking King (For the letter K) and Kissing Cousins (to represent the letter X?), as well as learning about Autumn every Autumn.

It doesn’t matter what you think about the Royal family, because they are not going to just give up their power, and a military coup is very unlikely. So if you don’t like it, either get used to the Royal family or move to America where you can then look at us, full of admiration.

That is my biggest annoyance! Bloody indecisive Americans! During the civil war they kicked us out, and now, they want in. They admire our Royal family. They seem to even admire our British ideals. Bloody hypocrites! Then, ironically, we seem to admire Barack Obama and wish we had such a powerful, elegant leader. Typical neighbours; looking over each other’s fences (in this metaphor, the Atlantic Ocean is the ronsealed fence) at their lives, full of jealousy.

Well, I hope you Brits enjoyed your Street parties, filled with VE Day spirit with cupcakes, crumpets, bunting and the typical British weather, and I hope you Yanks enjoyed waking up early to see a wedding full of people you have never heard nor care about.

One last thought: Why didn’t we charge the Yanks an extortionate rate for the rights to show the wedding and pay for it that way, as opposed to letting them enjoy festivities for a cheap price? It would save our pounds sterling. I’m sure Fox News could afford it.

Good luck to the newest Royal wedding; they need it. And long live Princess Catherine. I hope she lasts longer than Diana. OH, IF ONLY DIANA WERE STILL ALIVE TODAY!

March Madness

There have been plenty of slow news weeks. Even slow news months. The past month has probably been the complete opposite with so much happening, the news has struggled to fit it all in. Obviously we've had the Japanese Earthquake which has resulted in weeks of footage enforcing the destructive force left in its wake. We started a 'war' in Libya because it's been too long since we bombed another country which lots of oil. London has been hit by what are becoming trademark protests over money and lots of graffiti is used. There's been a double murder, with one victim being a woman who left a nightclub at 3am; a fact constantly told to us and repeatedly proved by CCTV footage. A 'Supermoon' loomed over the horizon for the first time in 11 years. The biggest news of all is that petrol is 1p cheaper, and thanks to that, I can afford a Mediterranean holiday!

Of course I can't afford a Mediterranean holiday. I haven't even got a passport...

I'm not going to jabber on about the Japanese Earthquake and subsequent disasters because I've already written in great length about that in my previous blog. However, I would just like to point one thing out to my local County Council. Three months after the cold weather, we still have roads smothered in bloody pot holes, and when they are finally repaired, they're done so poorly, that the road crumbles again as soon as a cyclist travels over it. The Japanese: Within a week of the tsunami, a road which was destroyed by its destructive force, was rebuilt and open. Shaming us Brits: It's the Japanese way...

In just a week!

There is one question which no-one really knows the answer to at the moment: Are we actually at war? The way I read it, the short and technical answer is probably no; not for now atleast. However, we are doing nothing to help international relations with Libya, and if you look at our current bombing habits, it's hard to not think we're at war. The English, American and French coalition are actually only enforcing a no-fly zone. This means, that no flights are currently, legally allowed to occur in the airspace above Libya. That’s simple enough. That just means we attack planes that break this rule in an attempt to keep civilians safe. Of course it's not that simple! America is involved. They seem to think that life is actually just a real game of Black Ops or some other war game with similarity. Just shoot anyone who has a vaguely coloured tone, just in case. "They're covered in dust? Better shoot just to be sure”.

An American plane came into difficulties and crashed near a village. The pilots parachuted safely. The locals welcomed the American's and even celebrated how they were helping their country. Then, during a mission to rescue said pilots by American troops, six villagers were shot and injured, including a young boy who lost a leg. An accident they call it. How does that even happen? America is just not happy unless they're shooting at people of a different race.

This does seem like this is going to end in much the same way as Iraq and Afghanistan; which is what people are worried about. We're forcing a country to abide by our rules. Sure, Gaddafi is a bit 'crazy'. I thought we were past the times when a leader would kill his country's citizens because they disagreed with him. Now, there is a debate about how involved we should become in this. Technically, it's illegal for us to give arms to the Libyan people to overthrow the Government. David Cameron still wants to do it though. However, we gave Afghanistan arms in the 90's, and look how that ended. This is a very complex issue which I know not enough about to be able to write more about before becoming inaccurate, boring and just writing gobbledegook.

Next issue on this month’s agenda: The London Protests.

London. It's such a wonderful, beautiful city. Apart from when a small selection of society decide to smash up shops, throw ammonia at policemen, vandalising historic monuments and just generally make profanities of themselves.

The March 2011 protests were about the recent budget cuts. 250,000 respectable citizens marched through the streets of London holding placards to make their point, whilst keeping within the law and having fun. The news repeatedly referred to it as a 'carnival atmosphere'. Then, a couple hundred people turned up disguised in balaclavas, and thought they would undermine the respectable citizens in their aim, by trashing London. As soon as the media found these events scattered across London, the media concentrated on them instead. Suddenly, the majority are forgotten once again.

Let me share a few figures. 66 people were injured; including 13 police. 214 protestors were arrested. That final figure is awful. I understand some of the anger by these protests, in that they attacked the shops, banks and hotels which avoid paying taxes in some shape or form. However, vandalising really isn't helping. Why does this always have to happen? We're a civilised community in this country, and a small percentage just wants to be violent.

Let's forget the protests that are 'fighting' for our future, and just concentrate on the main issue. Like everyone, I disapprove of the budget cuts, but I appreciate that it needs to be done, and maybe it could have been enforced slowly over a longer period, but let's just get over it, carry on with our lives and just be more conservative with our money. Could be worse; we could have just been hit by a huge earthquake and tsunami which killed thousands and destroyed life as we know it...

Labour seem somewhat hypocritical in all this however. I hear you cry 'But Stuart, politicians are never hypocritical. That word doesn't even appear in their dictionaries!" Yes dear reader, it's true. They're thinking about winning back more local council positions in the upcoming elections and are looking ahead to the future when they bid for power of the country again. They want people to like them again, and they're doing that by declaring that what Cameron and his followers are doing, is wrong. However, weren't Labour planning cuts nearly as bad? Yes, yes they were. They seem to have carefully forgotten that fact... Hmm.

Those have been the main points for March, but so much more has happened, and 2011 is proving to be such a busy year. However, I have limited knowledge, limited time and limited motivation to write a huge blog, decrying how awful life is becoming!

In April, we can looks forward to Easter Egg scoffing, a royal wedding and much more I expect...

WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!

I blame those pesky neutrinos. If you have seen the film '2012', you will know why. I only watched it very recently for the first time after buying it cheap in HMV. It is possibly one of the best disaster movies I have seen. I'll give you a quick synopsis in case you have not seen it. Essentially, neutrinos from a solar flare penetrate the Earth and warm up with Earth's core. (Already, the film has got the 'sciencey' bit wrong in that Neutrinos do not behave in that sort of way...). There are lots people running around and warning each other about the impending doom. The year 2012 arrives and lots on mini-quakes start to occur across the globe, and this causes cracks in the Earth's surface. The movie follows a family as they try to outrun the disaster, in which they drive through crumbling cities and fly around the World, getting help from people they meet along the way. They make it to China where the World's richest and most deserved get a pass onto one of numerous arks, along with every species of animal, in a modern-day adaption of the tale of Noah. By this point, you have to forget that millions of people have died in tsunamis, eruptions of super volcanoes, epic earthquakes and other natural disasters, so you can buy into the fact that everyone on these arks are happy that they are saved. The destruction of Earth stops as quickly as it started, and everyone moves to Africa. They probably live happily ever after. Finished.

The film 2012 is based around the idea of the Mayan's Calendar, which states that on the 21st of December, 2012, the World will come to an end. This, of course, is only a theory, but conspiracy theorists and movie directors find this a great idea to exploit. There is a possibility to this, albeit a slight one, in that our Sun's solar activity is going to intensify and let out huge solar flares as part of its 11 year cycle that coincidentally reaches its peak in 2012. These are not going to heat our World up to a point which we all fall into the Earth's core however. At worst, it will destroy our communication systems, and you know, to a stroppy teenager who can't text their mate down the road because of the inconvenience caused by the Sun, it may probably seem like the end of the world.

The film, although brilliant if you remove yourself from rational thought, is so far from possibility, it becomes laughable. Much like another apocalyptic movie, ‘The Day After Tomorrow', in that everything happens with such speed, if you were a deep sleeper, you'd miss the whole event.

However, maybe these laughable films are actually, slowly, becoming a reality. We're only three months into 2011 and already Australia has been flooded and hit by a hurricane, New Zealand has been rocked by an Earthquake and Japan has been almost destroyed by a horrific Earthquake which resulted in a huge tsunami and (at the time of writing) is about to be vaporised by a huge nuclear explosion, should you choose believe the news. The closer we get to 2012, should we expect an increase in even worse global events happening? The apocalypse is only one calendar away! Imagine the irony; just as the middle-eastern countries release themselves from the oppression of unfair Governments, they end up killed by a super volcano in the middle of Egypt. Also, why are we even bothered by increased tuition fees and a slashed NHS budget? We'd have all drowned in a freak tsunami from the Irish Sea by the time the effects really hit us. Damn you Neutrinos! Damn you!

In all seriousness (and those are three words you read rarely on this blog), the recent events in Japan are absolutely terrible. Seeing those initial pictures on the News on the 11th March, really depressed me. It scared me. It is horrifying. I just don't know what to say. A confirmed number of over 8,000 people have lost their lives, and another 13,000 are missing. The devastation is beyond imaginable, and I'm sure the true extent is impossible to try and convey on the news. However, still, the media 'flood' to this event like Cheetahs to a limping Zebra.

Every fifteen minutes for the first few days on 24 Hour News channels, we were shown the same videos, which involved aerial shots of huge tides sweeping away towns, cars floating about like plastic ducks and amateur footage of people running upstairs after spotting the water gushing into their homes. The media were keen to keep this story fresh, so they, as they always do, talked to irrelevant people who knew less than them. My favourite example is when a news presenter was talking to an English person in Japan through Skype. Great idea, but when the person lives the other side of the country, how is he supposed to know how people who have lost their homes and family, are coping?

Then each night a reporter would go and stand in front of a devastating scene to illustrate how bad this event was. This has ranged from standing in front of a ferry which was swept aground and now sitting atop a building, to a wrecked lorry mounted upon a pile of rubbish. I'm expecting the news reporters to become desperate and just start standing in front of a field of corpses, while he delivers his piece to camera with a deadpan expression on his face.

This is the tsunami the Japanese side of the North Pacific...

You really do have to admire the Japanese people though. If this event happened anywhere else in the World, the News channels would have hours of footage in which women do pieces to camera while sobbing uncontrollably, while others are behind them in the foetus position while screaming in a foreign language. I have seen no clips like that from the Japanese. They just seem to have accepted it and have resolved to carry on and sort out the aftermath as soon as possible. In fact, they seem to be more British than I. They really have taken the motto "Keep Calm and Carry On" to heart. For that, I think the Japanese are the strongest and most admirable race on our Earth.  I am proud to be of the same species as them. The Americans however, I am not. When news hit America that a big tide was on its way, they wept at the camera continuously, and prayed to God. All they got was a slightly bigger wave than normal. Yet still, they cried at the camera, telling us how scared this made them feel.

This is the 'tsunami' the American side of the North Pacific...

"Dear America, Grow some balls. Signed, Britain."

Mind you, we Brits are still guilty of finding misfortune at the misery of another nation. The past week has just been filled with people stating that Nuclear Power is unsafe and dangerous due to the recent danger caused by the Japanese Earthquake. On the contrary, I think this is a testament to how safe Nuclear Power is and how safe the systems put in place are. One of the most powerful Earthquakes in recent memory strikes not far from these sites, and then huge tidal waves swept through. This is the same Earthquake that made skyscrapers many miles away sway, and the same tsunami that swept many building from their foundations. Yet, for the most part, these buildings remained in tack.

The word 'meltdown' has been thrown across the media and Internet a lot of recent days, and this is a word which has the power to strike panic into one’s mind. It's one of those buzzwords that aren’t a used a lot, but when it is used: Woah, you better run away screaming! I'm not going to claim to know a great deal about Nuclear energy, but those explosions were caused by the formation of hydrogen gas when the cooling equipment failed to work and the hot rods and steam reacted with each other. Why did the cooling equipment not work? Damaged power supplies stopped them working. This isn't a demonstration of how dangerous nuclear power is; it's a demonstrating of how fragile our World is.

I, and I am sure a lot of other people paying attention to this story, have learnt a lot/had our memories refreshed about Nuclear Power. The news, although sometimes morally wrong, can be very informative when it needs to make the ignorant masses understand important news events. In your face Jamie's Dream School! Give us devastation and computer animations with things blowing up, in amongst some words from the periodic table and innuendos such as 'rods becoming hot', we, as a nation, are well away.

Anyway, my biggest of sympathies go to Japanese people, but, I'm sure they will rebuild their destroyed towns and communities to something much better than they previously had and put us to shame again. It's the Japanese way.

Flee From Glee

Well, what can I say? Oh dear. America, when did you turn so gay? I don't mean in a homosexual way (however, that too is appropriate), I just mean, when did you become so happy and cheesy? Since you started bombing Iraq and Afghanistan, your TV seems to have become brightly coloured, with merriment, young people and 'improvised' dancing. First we had that High School Musical, in which over-aged actors and actresses play young teenagers who play basketball in between dancing, singing and lessons. That finished years ago. However, its soul lives on in a very slightly more mature way, in Glee.

Look at them, smiling. You wait until they get mentally crushed by real life!

Glee. Now this is pretty much the same format, but they apparently tackle more adult situations. I don't know what they could be. Maybe in a later episode, they sing the hits of Gary Glitter, and a few of them get sexually assaulted by their teacher. Maybe in a later episode they sing Gangsta Rap and a crazed American screams into the Glee Club and shoots them all in their gormless faces before turned the shotgun on himself after a 5 hour standoff with the police. Maybe they will have a Nirvana special, and the guy in the wheelchair gets bullied, causing him to hang himself. During Madonna week, did one of the blonde girls sing 'Papa Don't Preach' after finding out she was pregnant after a one night fling? I don't know, I didn't watch it, but I don't suppose that happened.

The remnants of High School Musical can be found in other American shows too. Camp Rock and Hannah Montana to name two. Both have the same format as High School Musical. 'Actors' 'singing' for the entertainment of snot-nosed children who cannot tell the difference between creativity and liquidised puke being poured into their ears in the form of an electric guitar and a teenager covered in more make up than someone attacked by a boots beautician with a vengeance. It's not the fault of magazines that 10 year olds want to be slim and wished they were prettier, blame Miley Cyrus; who is essentially a pile of fur balls choked up by an adorable kitten, with raisins stuck on for facial expressions, and a fire damaged novelty card which shouts at you every time you open it as a singing voice.

Anyway, yes. Glee. I understand that it is equally just as cool to not like Glee as it is to like Glee. If you are unaware and apathetic, then I am jealous of you and your better quality of life. If you've ever sat on your sofa and thought 'I wonder what it would sound like if some American adolescents sung some of my favourite songs badly and tried to attach them loosely to a story line', or you're easily mesmerised by moving colours, then Glee is the show for you! Mind you, do you remember ITV's version called 'Britannia' which was on TV a few years ago? Well, in comparison, Glee is great; but that is a very small victory.

I mean, honestly. If you consider yourself to be a fan of music in any shape or form, you just wouldn't watch that show. It's musical suicide. They may as well have a tick list of great performers who they have murdered through their computer generated voices. Say what you like about High School Musical, and I have, but at least they sing new, original songs. If you're going to be rubbish, then don't take successful musicians down with you!

We're also supposed to empathise with these characters. I empathise more with violent dogs which have been out down after mauling the face off a toddler than I do with them. The characters seem very one dimensional. In fact, they are exactly what you expect from an American show with teenagers in them. I can tell all of that by barely paying any attention to one episode.

I was glancing my eyes through the TV listings, and all of a sudden the words 'Rock Horror Show' captured them. A repeated look indicated the words 'Glee' where also very close by. I had never watched an episode previously. I had heard songs. You find it hard to go through life without hearing their version of 'Don't Stop Believing'. I go to the Pantomime and they sing the song. They then expect me to actually clap along! Excuse me, but I didn't pay for that. I paid to see grown fools make idiots of themselves to the loose script of a fairy tale and for the chance to hark back to my childhood. Not to be told to clap along with a cheap version of what was already a perfectly good song.

I digress again. Glee. Rocky Horror Show. Right.

I thought I would give Glee a chance. They're performing songs from one of my favoured musicals. The Rocky Horror Show is obscure, random, mind-boggling, bewildering, fun, sexy and outlandish. Glee certainly made their mark on the original. It made for an interesting interpretation. Not good interesting though. I got very bored of the tediously slow 'plot' and pathetic attempts at romantic and intimate moments. Mind you, whatever I say, the singing isn't awful. I've heard worse singing and I expect it would be quite refreshing to listen to after a night of karaoke singers in some tiny pub. However, they're all miming, badly. Which then makes you suspicious that isn't there real singing voice you're listening too. One of them is either fantastically brilliant at singing in a voice completely different to his speaking voice, or there has been some manipulation. The former would indicate talent, so it must be the latter.

Then again, I do dislike anything popular. My retired Godmother watches Glee. She likes it. It comes to something when a retired woman who enjoys cricket and Cliff Richard, is more down with the popular television shows of the younger generation than her 18 year old Godson...

A lot of people watch Glee, and from the episode I've seen, I cannot fathom out why. It isn't for the story line. It isn't for the singing. It isn't for the acting. It isn't for the characters. It isn't for the dancing. It isn't even for the songs. If you like music, go to a charity shop, buy some CD's and discover some brand new artist with brand new songs to get excited about, instead of bad interpretations of good songs. Which therefore takes me back to the point of people watching it for the moving colours; or maybe they find something enjoyable in watching forced smiles prancing about on their screen for an hour.

We will never know.

The Colouring of America

Is America ready for a black president? Is the world ready for a black leader?I think, yes, so here is my political blog. So Obama is the next president of The United States, and it was a proud day for America.

I, probably like most other people from my generation probably only supported Mr Obama because he was younger, quite considerably, compared to McCain. Obama will be a good change compared to Bush, whereas McCain has very similar policies to Bush. McCain just wanted to fight for freedom, better economy, democracy and anything else you can think of, and as Bush has proved, fighting gets you now where. Obama has a lot of common sense compared to that pair.

Barack, in my opinion at least, will bring peace to the Middle East. I believe Barack will focus on where Bush went wrong. I reckon that because of his skin colour he will have more respect down there. I wouldn’t be surprised he ends up sorting the whole dispute by sitting them all around a table. He will have enough respect to be able to do that.

Like all teenagers I’m sure, I stayed up a majority of the night to watch the results come in. Both the BBC and ITV had election night, but it’s times like that when you can see the considerable difference between the two corporations. The BBC, was very accurate with their information, unlike ITV, but it was very boring. It was just a load of people with grey hair sitting around a table talking to David Dimbleby. In fact it felt just like an episode of ‘Question Time’. ITV had an array of different people appearing on theirs. They had Jon Culshaw, which can make anything worth watching, and rather a lot of Americans, but it was rather fun to watch still. Although on a number of times their accuracy was a lot to be admired.

From a comedy side, Barack is pretty much solid. After Bush, whose mannerisms could and still will be, impersonated a lot, and McCain, because of his age and his similarity to Bush would have impersonated. I expect it still will be as well. So from that view, Obama winning is pretty good because people can actually take a president seriously for the first time in 8 years.

The whole thing had the feel of a Morgan Freeman film to me. With giant crowds gathered around a stage, listening to a speech which symbolises the end of a film, or in this case, then end of election night.

So, what a week for diversity it was. We’ve gained a black president and a black Formula 1 winner.