Who Decides The Importance of News Stories?

That is a question that I've always wanted to know the answer to, but more so in the recent few months, as I would like to meet the person to see if they really are a complete and utter idiot. The relevance of the story on the public and the world is how I would decide the importance, and is how you would expect them to be ordered. The news is now ordered in a way to grab an audience and compete against other news programs/channels for ratings. The recent Michael Jackson death is a good example of this.

Everyone loved Michael Jackson, that much has been made obvious to us over the past 5 days, and every day since his death it has been the main news headline. Did he die as a result of the drugs he was taking? Did he die because of the stress of his upcoming tour at the O2 Arena? Who will get custody of his children? These are the questions that the news programs have been answering before bomb attacks in Iraq are discussed, the still increasing Swine Flu cases and forgetting the death of Farrah Fawcett, who died the same day as Michael Jackson and was big news until Jackson died, then her dead corpse just got pushed to the back of the news headline to make way for the freshly decaying dead corpse of Michael Jackson.

Another example of similar news stories being ordered differently is the metro crash in America last week which killed 9 people, and the Spanish train that blew up and killed 13 people a few days ago. The metro crash was the news headline of the day, and lots of emotional people were interviewed to give their experience of the tragic accident. Whereas the train explosion in Spain, which had more casualties, barely got a mention on the news, apart from a few dramatic images which made it look like a scene from a Tom Cruise film.
In case you're not aware of this story, a cargo train full of flammable gases blew up as it went through a train station, and as well as killing 13 people and injuring many more, it turned the surrounding area into a small village that looked like it had been hit by a nuclear bomb. In comparison to two trains colliding, I think the incident in Spain is actually bigger news myself. Geographical positioning and the countries power is usually the contributor to whether something is headline news or whether it gets featured in a quick 20 second news round-up. A fatal accident in America will get much more media coverage than a fatal accident in a less powerful country like Spain, as showed in the recent news.
It even counts for news stories over in the United Kingdom. If someone gets stabbed in London, its headline news, and Gordon Brown comes on the TV and gives his condolences to the family and someone from Scotland Yard will give an update on suspects. If someone gets stabbed in Summerset, it would barely get covered by local news teams, and not the national news, that’s for sure. I know if they covered every stabbing, the first 20 minutes of every news report would be a list of deaths, but that is yet another example of some guy sitting in the ITN newsroom deciding what the public want to hear, and making a decision of whether something is important or not.

I can't have a moan at the media, without bringing up Jade Goody, who died a few months ago of cervical cancer. I'm sure you remember that, because all the gossip magazines have talked about since is her death and how Jack Tweed is coping with the loss. Just because she was in the media spotlight, we all decided that was more important than every other woman in the country who was dying or suffering with cervical cancer. I've said this before, and I'll say it again. Numerous members of my family have had cancer, as have a lot of people’s families, and at no point did the prime minister call them brave, or Okay! Magazine never done a tribute to them. And why is she any different? All because she was on Big Brother.
People will argue that without her, thousands of women would never have had themselves checked out, but that was only because the media kept pushing the subject (something good had to come out of it all). At no point did Goody actively tell women to get themselves checked out. She did not die with dignity and it wasn't just her fault, it was the media's fault too. It was the fault of the news for constantly reminding us she was dying. And when she did die, we were shown footage of people crying and flowers being laid outside her house. That is why the death of Michael Jackson has been was compared to Goody's death; the constant media coverage after the death. Now it has become boring. What we need is Michael Jackson's body to spontaneously combust, destroying the whole of America to liven it up and make the story interesting again.

I'm not that sympathetic over celebrity deaths like Michael Jackson and Jade Goody, because people die every day. Maybe a Plumber from Leeds isn't as important as an American who has made a huge contribution to music or a women who has kept the tabloid papers and the gossip magazines in business, however they are still people, so why the news reporter can't just say 'Jade Goody has finally died... Now onto something more important - Barak Obama has just saved the world yet again, this time he managed to stop a meteor from colliding with the Earth.'

It can't all be blamed on the media though; it can also be blamed on you, the British public. It's because you've forced us to live in the world of celebrity, where all everyone seems to care about is either a celebrity’s personal life or who will be the next person to be evicted from the Big Brother house. And with written media dying out because of new technologies, the papers have had try harder to get readers. The Internet means people can access the news up to date, when they want and choose what they do and do not want to read/listen to and is also free.

The news today is concentrated on the recent hot weather. Announcing that today Kent was 4 Degrees Celsius warmer than the Caribbean. It's not a competition. I personally don't really care where we are hotter than, and everyone getting giddy at the thought that we are hotter than the Caribbean islands, but then I don't care about a lot of things on the news. Do I care that 4 people will serve a 44 years sentence between them for smuggling drugs into Britain? No. Do I really care that there is no prospect of a post office sell off? Not particularly. Do I even care that Gordon Brown insists he is honest about his expenses? Nope, couldn't give a flying monkeys (strange expression that).

So why do I even watch the news or buy the Guardian if I don't care about the news? I don't know really, because if I really want to know something, I would go onto the BBC website and have a look. That's sorted then, I won't watch the news again (for a while at least).

Toodles m’dearys
xXXx

Just one more thing. Have a look at this video... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELyTBXzfQJ8 It appeals to me because it involves Hitler and is rather funny on the subject of Michael Jackson’s death. Have a look, you won’t regret.

Y Spk Englsh Wen U Cn Tlk in Slang/Ghetto/Text/Jargon/Gobbledegook

f typd n ntr sntnc wtht sng ny Vwls, vry fw ppl wld b bl t ndrstnd wht 'm n bt, nd dbt wld b bl t thr...
And in English, with Vowels...
If I typed an entire sentence without using any Vowels, very few people would be able to understand what I'm on about, and I doubt I would be able to either. How comes then it is acceptable for us to think we can talk to each other without vowels then?

I text an awful lot, in fact too much, and all my texts are written in the way I'd write an English essay, by spelling every word properly, called the 'Queens English', because It always takes me 10 minutes to work out I'm saying if I shorten it and when I receive a text, I have to sit and work out what is being said to me.

A women's private area, more commonly known as a 'Virginia' in the mature world, is called a 'Wizards Sleeve' in street talk I found out yesterday – it came up in conversation. Anyway, I think it gives an entire new meaning to Harry Potter now.
Harry: Come on Hermione, we'll be late to defeat Lord Voldemort again if you don't hurry up.
Hermione: Hang on Harry, I’m just getting my hand out of my wizards sleeve then we can go... Actually, could you give me hand?

More slang, which is just as inappropriate, comes in the form of ways to ‘affectionately’ address your girlfriend or other half. Such words include; Bitch, Whore/Hoe, GF (Which could just as easily mean Goldfish), 'Fuck Buddy', Wifey, or more socially accepted – Spouse. To be honest, I would never call my girlfriend any of those names (accept Spouse maybe) if I had one, but then maybe that’s where I have been going wrong, I’ve been calling previous girlfriends by their name, or referring to them by their relationship to me – Girlfriend. I used to think if I called one of them a ‘Whore’ (which I’m not), I’d get a slap, but obviously that’s not the case – Silly Me!

Onto acronyms now... How people come up with certain acronyms, I will never know. These people must be uneducated, unemployed people who watch countdown and can't make a word up that's over 3 letters long, so try and make it into an acronym instead. How someone came up with 'ROFFLMFAOOLTTFM' I will never know. In case you're wondering, it means 'Roll On the Fucking Floor Laughing My Ass Off Out Loud To The Fucking Max'.

We all know the popular and overused ‘LOL’. In fact it’s so well known that people now actually say ‘LOL’ to people instead of ‘Laughing Out Loud’ which is just getting ridiculous, it seems the technology of phones and computers mean we have forgotten to socially interact with each other. There are other acronyms which are used like the one previously mentioned, ‘LMAO’ which means ‘Laughing My Arse Off’, ‘BRB’ which means ‘Be Right Back’ and ‘WUBU2’ which means ‘What You Been Up To?’

To help myself get around some of the gobbledegook, I use ‘The Urban Dictionary’ which is very handy for ‘Middle Class’ people like me who have no idea what people are saying to me. I decided to type in ‘SOL’ to see what result comes back, and I was amazed by the amount of things ‘SOL’ means. For example I had; ‘Smile Out Loud’, ‘Shit Outta Luck’, ‘Sex On Legs’, ‘Snorting Out Loud’, ‘Sigh Out Loud’, ‘Snigger Out Loud’ and more sensibly, and surprisingly ‘Speed Of Light’, I didn’t even know the speed of light was a such popular topic of discussion with my peers.

We come to the point in my blog, where I don’t know how to conclude. We already know that everyone’s social standards are falling, with no-one even talking to each other, which is favourite topic amongst comedians who have many jokes about the silence on public transport. Basically, all that I have proven is that a few people I socialise with don’t own a dictionary and are very good at hiding their dyslexia – insult not intended to anyone who has dyslexia, or indeed anyone I know, I am just saying.

So, it’s time for me to say – C U L8r...
Or as I say it – Toodles M’dearys
xXXx

My God, There Are Some Idiots About...

Well, obviously the care homes can’t afford to look after idiotic people anymore due to the credit crunch, so have been let onto the streets, of Canterbury it seems – although I’m sure where ever you go in the country, it won’t take long for you to find an idiot to talk to...

I’ve been fortunate to have the morning off, so have enjoyed the sunshine, and been out in public, on the bus, in shops and walking down the high street, and everywhere I went, I seemed to find someone asking silly question or people being genuinely stupid.

First things first, I caught the bus today into Canterbury from Boughton and sat on the top deck, taking pictures of the scenery for my photography, and I was listening to these two women talking, and one of them seriously said to the other – “Are you going somewhere?” We are all on a bus, obviously going somewhere, and she asks that question. How idiotic is that? She could have asked ‘Where you off too?’ or ‘Are you going somewhere nice?’ But no, she asks a question, which has a blatant reply. “Yes.”

So, we all got off the bus, and I thought no-more about it. Then, during my travels around Canterbury, I pop into the card shop which is appropriately named ‘Birthdays’. You look at the name and you go, ‘Oh, they must sell Birthday cards’. Well my dear friends, I was wrong. Just as I was paying for my purchases, a man walked in, and he had the cheek to ask the assistant – “Do you sell birthday cards?” That has to be one of the stupidest questions ever asked by humans. If I had enough confidence, I would have given him a right talking too, after I said something sarcastic. Maybe something along the lines of ‘Of course not, it’s called Birthdays so people know that they don’t sell birthday cards!’ That really annoyed me that question did.

Then we get to the final point, which proves how stupid some people are...

If you live in Canterbury, then I am sure that you have at some time, encountered a women half way down the high street giving out ‘Lucky Heather’ in return for a pound coin. I have fallen into this, and I did do this last year. Unfortunately, my luck didn’t change, so was a waste of money. Every time I walk down the street the past few weeks, she offers me one, and on two occasions I have started an argument with her, hoping she’d get the point that I don’t want one. Although today, I encountered her again, and as usual, she asked me to buy one. I didn’t argue, and just ignored her as it does no good, and I don’t like to argue with anyone. The fact that I have made my point quite clear, and yet she still offers me one is ridiculous. The heather has clearly come out of someone’s garden and she’s wrapped it in a bit of foil, so unless she managed to get a leprechaun to ‘take a leak’ on it, I fail to see where the luck has come from. Although, for the record, I don’t endorse leprechaun wee to be lucky as I have had no experience with the stuff.

It does amaze me how many idiots you encounter on a day-to-day bases. Then, if I wanted to, I could continue to talk about people I know. People who consider themselves to be my best friends, when actually they bore me, the topics we discuss are hardly of any interest to me. He’d be better talking to a 10 year old kid than me, although I do fear the 10 year old kid would get eaten. Oh well, that’s life, and unfortunately, we are stuck with it. Unless, we endorse euthanasia, which is kind of illegal, so we must do the best next thing, and either ignore them or give them sarcastic replies. It’s the only way these people are going to learn.

Oh, and while I’m on the subject. When Jade Goody dies, I have decided I am going to do my own little tribute to her, like OK magazine have. Difference is, I’m going to wait until she passes onto the next world – wherever that will be. And don’t worry, I am expecting to get some ‘negative’ responses to it.

Toodles m’dearys.

Stuy xXXx

I’m In The Need Of a Rant

If you are from the UK, then, my dear friends, I am branding you all idiots.

Today I have got very annoyed with the general public of the United Kingdom. In specific the number is around 27,000 members of the island, and I shall tell you why this is so.

Last time I checked, around 27,000 people had complained to the BBC, and I recon around 26,000 of those people don't know why they complained. If you have not worked it out already, I am talking about this Jonathan Ross/Russell Brand fiasco, which has been taken way out of proportion.

On their radio show, they made a prank call to Andrew Sachs (Manuel from Fawlty Towers) saying that Russell Brand ‘Fucked’ his granddaughter. If you read the transcript like I have, you'll see it’s not really that bad. It’s the usual bit of banter you expect from the pair. I’ve put a link to it at the bottom of this blog post.

So, Russell Brand has quit. The papers refer to him as a ‘Former heroin addict’, which I think is a little wrong. I’ll admit I don’t really like him, but I do have my moments when I laugh at him. His humour is crude. I remember watching him doing stand-up on telly, and he was telling the tale of when he met the queen, but he had changed the story a little bit. He said he groped the Queens bosom, at which point I changed the channel. I hate comedy like that, which is why I don’t have much sympathy for him. It’s not as if he’s going to be out of a job though. You can’t go a week without seeing him on Channel 4. I still don't think he should have resigned though, i do like his radio shows and podcasts.

Whereas, Jonathan Ross has been suspended for 12 weeks from the BBC, halfway through his current chat show series, this was a big mistake in my opinion. If he was allowed to do this Friday’s episode, I’m sure he would have apologised in his own way. I am however, looking forward to his return in January. It should be rather good to watch. His job though, was only saved because the Radio 2 controller, Lesley Douglas resigned.

What annoys me the most about this fiasco is the general public of the United Kingdom. Like I have already said, around 27,000 complained about it, which is fair enough. Although, only 2 people complained about the answer phone message on the day. Then the BBC decided they wanted to investigate it. Everyone then decided it was completely ‘out of order’ and complained, a majority of which most probably didn’t even hear it, or even listen to Radio 2. Then Gordon Brown announced he was against the comments made, and was then discussed in the houses of parliament, most of which again probably didn’t hear it.

I know we’re famous for complaining us Brits, but this is ridiculous. Why do people feel the need to complain about things they know nothing about, and only know what the media have told them, which again, are famous for not being accurate and being biased.

So, that is why I am extremely annoyed with everyone, and it’s times like this when I am ashamed to call myself ‘British’.

Link to the answer phone transcript-
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2008/oct/27/russell-brand-jonathan-ross-andrew-sachs-calls