Stuart's In-Car Entertainment Conundrum

What am I suppose to do for in-car entertainment when I have a dodgy radio with a tape deck that does not work and cannot afford to buy a new radio? Well, I probably could afford to buy a radio for my car, but it would mean I'd have no money for petrol to actually drive the car. This means I am left with only the radio in my car seeing, but which radio station to choose? I have absolutely no idea what to listen to in my car. I have the choice of the local Heart station, KMFM, Classic FM, Radio 1, Radio 2 and something French which only works occasionally.

Now, I cannot decide which station to tune my car radio too. Heart actually gets the best signal while driving around, so this is a positive. However, I have more than two brain cells. I am not stupid enough to listen to Heart. I have 12 GCSE's and I'm attempting A-levels. I don't plan on lowering my intelligence by listening to the same 15 songs over and over again. We can unanimously agree that the station that prides itself on having 'The Best Music Variety' actually plays some of the worst songs from the same genre. I don't like Sugababes, I've listened to so much Leona Lewis that I'm becoming paranoid that Simon Cowell is trying to brainwash me, been turned almost insane by Lady Gaga's Pokerface and I am losing my patience of Take That's song 'Patience' always being played.
My Dad has always had Heart (or Invicta as our local station used to be called) playing in the car, and I know far too much about James Hemming's personal life from listening every morning that I can't help but think I'm stalking him. You can understand that I don't want to have Heart playing every time I get in the car, and the fact that Geri Halliwell has a show on it, makes me more determined to never be associated with it. I find one of the joys of driving being that I can pick the radio station to listen too. Sure the independence is good, but I can now choose the music, and if I put Heart, it will make all that time learning to drive, wasted. So, it seems I won't be 'having a Heart' any time soon. And as for the other local station KMFM, well the same reasons apply to that, just insert different and lesser known names.

Listening to Radio 1 just makes me feel old, despite the fact I am only 17. I really am not 'hip-hop' enough to listen to that station. It does have good points about it though, with it having Chris Moyles in the morning and Scott Mills in the afternoon, both people I could easily listen to all day. Over the past few days I have had my car radio tuned to Radio 1, purely because I have enjoyed listening to Chris Moyles and the rest of the entourage while stuck in traffic on the way to school. I can even put up with a majority of the music he plays in the middle of his waffling, and I even found myself singing along to McFly - Stargirl on Friday as I parked my car. Then if I'm late driving home (like I have been most days recently) I get to listen to Scott Mills as I drive home, and usually time it just right so I listen to the news - not the most interesting thing to listen to, but better than hearing JLS's new song.
However, when I drive my car in the middle of the day, I am forced to listen to Fearne Cotton. I used to like her, but I now just find her whining blondness irritating. Her taste in music, I don't like either. This is why I cannot have Radio 1 permanently on in my car. I seem to be one of the only people who get road rage at the radio instead of other drivers. The annoying thing with Radio 1 is that they can play a song that I actually really like, then follow it with Madcon's new release - two completely different genres. It annoys me that this station is allowed to keep going while BBC 6 Music faces closure. I fully understand that the point of paying the license fee is that a greater variety can be given to the public, whether it is the banter and great music of BBC 6 Music or the just plain idiocy of Radio 1, but why get rid of one and not the other? Anyway, I digress...

I would listen to Radio 2 if my car radio could actually find a decent signal which didn't cut off every few seconds. Maybe the target audience is for people in their thirties and forties, but they play much better music that Radio 1 and their playlist seems to be longer than that of Heart. The recent departure of Terry Wogan is sad, but I think maybe he has been doing the job for far too long, and handing over to Chris Evans was good. Sure, it has divided people in their opinions, with some thinking that Evans could not replace Wogan's raconteur skills, and others thinking that Evans in the morning 'brightens up their day'. Despite the BBC being worried that the target age range of Radio 2 is slipping, it is still rather a good radio station, and one could ask 'Why does it matter?' As long as people are listening, why does it matter what age range are listening?
The other station that actually works properly is Classic FM. I'm not cultured enough to listen to that station. Maybe if I feel I have listened to Radio 1 too much and that my intellect is slowly dropping, I'll listen to 20 minutes of classical music just to top it up again. However, as a radio station to listen to on the drive to school every day? Well, let's just say it doesn't appeal to me. Infact, driving down to Dover and going straight over the cliffs seems more appealing.

What am I to do between now and being about to afford a brand new radio for my car with a CD player and a place to plug my iPod into? Shall I just drive around in silence with my own thoughts? Should I listen to Heart and risk my brain blowing up after hearing Cheryl Cole’s new song for the 175,867th time, just in case they play a Kings of Leon or Snow Patrol track in the time I'm in the car? Do I listen to Radio 1 and try to be 'down wiv da kidz' and being entertained by the likes of Moyles and Mills but annoyed by the stupidness of Cotton? Maybe I could listen to Radio 2 and have a good mix of songs and DJ-ing but lose the signal every other minute? Or should I just put Classic FM on while driving down to Dover?

I really have no idea, and it is annoying me. I think I may have to give up soon and borrow some money off a Dad who no longer has to drive me everywhere (somehow, I very much doubt that). I suppose I could just go without petrol for a few weeks and push the car everywhere I go, but put the volume up loud so I can hear it while I push it down the dual carriageway every morning. Either way, I don't think I am going to be able to last much longer before I go mad with my own thoughts while I drive everywhere. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love being able to drive everywhere, go where ever and do it at whatever time I please, but some decent music would be appreciated.
Maybe I should set up my own personal radio station in which I give them my iTunes collection and ask them to play through them. However, I'm thinking it will probably be cheaper to buy a new car. Any advice you have for me would be great, as it is 'driving' me mad. Budum Tshh.

A whole blog just to make that terrible pun...

I’m In The Need Of a Rant

If you are from the UK, then, my dear friends, I am branding you all idiots.

Today I have got very annoyed with the general public of the United Kingdom. In specific the number is around 27,000 members of the island, and I shall tell you why this is so.

Last time I checked, around 27,000 people had complained to the BBC, and I recon around 26,000 of those people don't know why they complained. If you have not worked it out already, I am talking about this Jonathan Ross/Russell Brand fiasco, which has been taken way out of proportion.

On their radio show, they made a prank call to Andrew Sachs (Manuel from Fawlty Towers) saying that Russell Brand ‘Fucked’ his granddaughter. If you read the transcript like I have, you'll see it’s not really that bad. It’s the usual bit of banter you expect from the pair. I’ve put a link to it at the bottom of this blog post.

So, Russell Brand has quit. The papers refer to him as a ‘Former heroin addict’, which I think is a little wrong. I’ll admit I don’t really like him, but I do have my moments when I laugh at him. His humour is crude. I remember watching him doing stand-up on telly, and he was telling the tale of when he met the queen, but he had changed the story a little bit. He said he groped the Queens bosom, at which point I changed the channel. I hate comedy like that, which is why I don’t have much sympathy for him. It’s not as if he’s going to be out of a job though. You can’t go a week without seeing him on Channel 4. I still don't think he should have resigned though, i do like his radio shows and podcasts.

Whereas, Jonathan Ross has been suspended for 12 weeks from the BBC, halfway through his current chat show series, this was a big mistake in my opinion. If he was allowed to do this Friday’s episode, I’m sure he would have apologised in his own way. I am however, looking forward to his return in January. It should be rather good to watch. His job though, was only saved because the Radio 2 controller, Lesley Douglas resigned.

What annoys me the most about this fiasco is the general public of the United Kingdom. Like I have already said, around 27,000 complained about it, which is fair enough. Although, only 2 people complained about the answer phone message on the day. Then the BBC decided they wanted to investigate it. Everyone then decided it was completely ‘out of order’ and complained, a majority of which most probably didn’t even hear it, or even listen to Radio 2. Then Gordon Brown announced he was against the comments made, and was then discussed in the houses of parliament, most of which again probably didn’t hear it.

I know we’re famous for complaining us Brits, but this is ridiculous. Why do people feel the need to complain about things they know nothing about, and only know what the media have told them, which again, are famous for not being accurate and being biased.

So, that is why I am extremely annoyed with everyone, and it’s times like this when I am ashamed to call myself ‘British’.

Link to the answer phone transcript-
http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2008/oct/27/russell-brand-jonathan-ross-andrew-sachs-calls