Apple: A Byte Too Far

I am funny. You see, this blog title works on numerous, humorous levels. It's a pun on the regularly used sentence: 'A Bit Too Far'. Also, of course, Apples are food, so you can 'bite' them. However, computer memory is measured in 'Bytes', and due to this blog being about the technology giant 'Apple', it's funny, right? Yeah, I am a bit of a geek...

ANYWAY... Apple has gone mad this year. The beginning of the year saw them unveil a giant iPhone called the iPad, which essentially looked like a pretty tray which you could use to put coffee and tea on when entertaining guests. Then the iPhone progressed its way into its fourth generation. Now, Apple have released a new iTunes; iTunes 10 and changed its logo along with redesigning the incredibly popular and iconic iPod Nano. The power has gone to Steve Jobs's head! Everything has to be sodding touch screen with him these days! What were wrong with the days on the spindly-clicky-thingy?

The happy Apple family

The iPad has proved very popular in its first few months, with this blog actually being regularly read by people using it. Yes, I know who you are. Sat on the train, touching my blog. You're caressing it are you not!? You like touching it don't you? Oh, don't stop touching my blog. Just give it a quick little flick. Oh, that felt good, right? NOW, stop it, you dirty rich person.

Everyone is pretty much agreed that it is essentially a glorified mix of the iPhone and a MacBook. It doesn't matter what Apple say in the advert that is all it is. It does exactly the same things, but just in a bigger way. It is actually a fashion accessory. The top celebrities own one. I wouldn't be surprised if OK! Magazine haven't done a 10 page spread on the iPad do's and don't's according to Paris Hilton, or whatever blonde bimbo is flavour of the day.

When Apple released it, they warned that it would revolutionise the media in the way they publish newspapers and books. Well, I can still walk into my local store and buy The Guardian in paper form, so it hasn't changed much as of yet.

Then we have the iPhone. Both this and Blackberry are the top fashions in the mobile phone world. You either support Team iPhone or Team Blackberry. The iPhone 4 is much like the iPhone 3, apart from the fact it is shinier, quicker, better web connection and can burn the skin off of your face without you even noticing while you talk to your parent, unaware; apparently.

Everyone wants an iPhone. I even want an iPhone. I just want to hold it in my hand and play with the Apps, surf the web quickly and look like a businessman who is just a bit of a prick. I want one, rather badly really. However, for some reason, Apple has to go and charge a ridiculous amount of 'wonga' for it. I wouldn't argue if they made the iPhone a couple hundred pounds cheaper. You know what; I'd jump at the chance. However, they won't do that so I'm left with my Samsung Touch phone which has developed the annoying habit of freezing when I reply to a text, so I end up sending people blank messages.

As for the iPods, well thankfully the iPod classics remain in their 'classic' form. A biggish thing which just about fits in your pocket, and has a large screen and the iconic spindly-clicky-thingy. As for the Nano's, well their last few forms have made very little sense with the new generation (the 6th) being the worst offender. Last's years metallic Nano had a built in video camera. Now why the hell would you need, let alone buy, a portable music player with a built in video camera? They claim it is to allow the user to record their favourite bands at music festivals. However, that's what cameras are for! As for the new one...

A TOUCH SCREEN!? How dare you! How very dare you Mr Steve Jobs! I believed the iPod Touch to be the touch screen music player in your edition. I never thought you would ruin something as ICONIC as the Nano. A touch screen iPod Nano, costing £50 more than its spindly-clicky predecessors. The iPod Nano no longer looks like an iPod, but instead more like a SatNav or a small, portable television. How dare you!

I have to ask; what is with Apple's new obsession of having to touch everything? I LOVE my iPod Classic, which I've affectionately named Oscar, and I wouldn't change him for the world. I used to have an iPod Nano previously, and I loved that too. I love/loved them for their unique design. They actually look quite attractive for an electronic gadget and I think their design to be rather sleek. The Nano was iconic. ICONIC! Now, you have metaphorically chucked it in the toilet and relieved yourself all over it. I hope you are proud of yourself Steve Jobs. I may be coming across as angry, but that is because I am. I loved the design of the iPod range. Now. It's ruined.

Then iTunes. It only received minor tweaks here and there, granted. However, they have only gone and got rid of the iconic (Yes, I am using that word again, what of it?) desktop logo. The new one is trying to be too damn modern. I don't like change of something which has been the same for years; in fact as long as I've had iPods. Okay, I had OCD in the fact I'd look at the old logo every day and get frustrated that the CD behind the musical note was not spherical. I enjoyed that frustration though. Now when I look at the logo, I get disappointed to see the new circle on the new logo is very round indeed; if not a perfect circle.

Actually, now I've seen it in big form, I understand why it's not a perfect circle: It's on an angle...

Even though I now have a strong hate for Steve Jobs thanks to his new obsession to touching, I love Apple. I love my iPod Classic, Oscar. He is one of my best friends; always there when I need him. I want an iPhone. I don't care if it would burn my face off and is purely materialist, I still really want one. Even to the extent where I have stuck an Apple Logo on the back on my Samsung Mobile and pretend it is an iPhone. You know, one of those poorly crafted, rare Samsung/Apple iPhones. I would also rather quite like a Mac, of the book or desktop type. I just want to touch one and own one. Even to the extent where I have stuck an Apple Logo on the lid of my Samsung Laptop and pretend it is a MacBook. You know, one of those rare black and bulky Apple MacBooks. I am an obsessed geek.

If I was rich with lots of money, I would like to fill my house with Apple products (except the iPod Nano. I need a restraining order on that piece of ruined technology), but why? Fashion. Apple products are fashionably cool. I have been programmed by the media and society that Apple products are must haves. Who knows whether I'll manage to get any of these products as I get older and richer, but I know that for now I am happy with my Oscar, and if they dare turn the iPod Classics into Touch Screen; I might just cry.