In the 20 months I have now been on Twitter that is something I keep thinking about. Why name it Twitter? However, after a bit of research I found the answer. I found out they very nearly called it 'Twitch', but after searching similarly spelt words in the dictionary, found 'Twitter'.
"We came across the word "twitter," and it was just perfect. The definition was "a short burst of inconsequential information," and "chirps from birds." And that’s exactly what the product was." - Jack Dorsey.
Imagine that though; we could have all been 'Twitching' and sending each other 'Spasms'.
I am sure most people are aware of what Twitter actually is by now, but for those who don't, I would describe it as 'A website primarily for people to share and read useless babble with millions of other people, which has to fit into 140 characters or less.' That description is a perfect example with it being exactly 140 characters in length. My one problem with that fact, is that it was not intentional 140 characters, and I'm now worried that I am indeed addicted and obsessed. My own mental state aside, Twitter is the best, most pointless thing ever.
I will happily stand up and admit that I am in fact an addict. I Tweet too much. Rarely a day goes by where I have done under three Tweets. In the 20 months since I joined, I have shared over 3,500 thoughts with the world. In that time, I have become barely a speckle on the giant bird that is Twitter. I am currently circulating around the 100 followers mark, which is still rather impressive. This is 100 people, in numerous locations around the globe, reading my cynical thoughts about life and society. Not bad. That is the equivalent of 100 people following me around where ever I go, asking me what I'm thinking every so often. Now that is slightly worrying.
I refuse to become one of these Twitter's that share: their boring thoughts, their boring daily activities, their mental state, and just generally - their boring lives. I do not see why anyone would care about what I am doing that day, unless it was interesting. 'Being at home bored' nor 'Watching TV' are things which I would consider to be Twitter worthy. 'I'm happy' nor 'Feeling depressed' are snippets of your life which I consider Twitter worthy either.
The topic of conversation which annoys me most on Twitter is the weather. This is what we would consider to be small talk in the outside world; or a 'Phatic Utterance' if you've done A Level English for two years. A lot of Tweets are just moaning about the weather. In the winter, people either moan on Twitter about the lack of snow or the amount of snow and also how cold it is. During the summer, people either moan about it being too hot, too cold or rain. It irritates me that in real life people moan about a yearly cycle, like it's never happened before, so imagine how irate I become when I read it on Twitter.
I like to use Twitter to share interesting and, maybe even occasionally, humorous thoughts or things I find that intrigue me in general life. If I'm going to share something about my life, like what I am doing, I feel I have to add an observation which may make someone, somewhere, smile slightly. I'm not going to lie and say everything that I put on Twitter isn't boring. I am guilty of sharing my mental state occasional and being uninteresting, but I don't like doing it. If I have nothing of any worth to say, I won't say anything. Some days I'll put 4 things on Twitter. Other days I'll put 20 things of Twitter. I barely care about my crap life, so why would I expect someone else to care about it? And likewise, if I barely care about my crap life, why the hell would I care about a complete stranger’s even crappier life?
People use Twitter in the way they use Facebook to update their status. The reason I don't update my Facebook status very often is because I don't want to share every little detail about my life with my Facebook 'friends', and that is what I feel Facebook is for because only friends and family, who care about you, can read it. What you put on Twitter is open to the entire world to read, so you need to impress, and you don't do that by telling strangers you’re miserable or giddy with joy.
Make humorous observations. Share your own jokes. Say interesting things about your life. Share something humorous that happened to you today. Moan about things you hate on TV or in general society. Share funny things you find on the Internet. Discuss news events. Just be interesting. Don't put on Twitter that you're depressed for umpteenth time in one day. We heard you the first time, you miserable bastard!
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| If you do want to follow me, I'm @MrStuy |
Another thing a lot of people do on Twitter is moan about their lack of followers and request more. This is something else that annoys me. Why would someone want to listen to you constantly moan about your lack of followers? It doesn't bother me how many followers I have. If I had 20, I'd say exactly the same things that I do now, and I would continue to say the same things if I had 2000. I admit I got a bit excited when I had 100 followers the first time, but that was just my OCD for numbers shining through. I get excited every time my Tweet counter hits a multiple of a 100. There is even a scheme for the desperate people on Twitter called 'Follow Back', where people will follow each other, in order to have more followers. The problem I foresee here is that you will eventually have hundreds of people sharing their shit lives with you (see previous 5 paragraphs for more details).
If you look at the 38 people who I follow on Twitter, it is a mixture of a few family and friends, a couple celebrities, a few news feeds of local and humorous types and lots of comedians. I like to laugh, so if you don't make me laugh and I don't like you in real life, don't expect me to follow you. I love my timeline being filled with interesting thoughts, funny jokes and weird Internet links. I don't like boring.
There is also a thing on Twitter called 'Trending Topics', which allows you to see what the most talked about topics on Twitter are. Usually, when X-Factor or Football are on, it will all be related to that or when a major world even happens, like Michael Jackson dying, that topic will be trending. On normal, boring days, weird topics will be trending. The problem with Trending Topics is that you never actually know why a topic is trending, so most of the Tweets on topics are asking why that topic is trending, and the more people the ask, the more popular that topic becomes and then become stuck in an annoying paradox.
Twitter is full of spam as well. If you thought it was annoying getting sporadic emails about your small penis size, wait until you use Twitter. I mentioned the word 'Golf' in a Tweet a few weeks ago; I got two replies from companies advertising their golf products, another reply about the Volkswagen Golf GTi and also gained two followers, who were also advertising their golf products. I also mentioned the words 'Single Parent' in a Tweet and I got a reply offering me a subscription to a dating website for single parents. The madness of it! Twitter has become a tool for people to advertise, in amongst all the useless babble.
The main problem I have with Twitter, is me. People don't use Twitter how I would like Twitter to be used. Twitter gives people the freedom of speech, to say whatever they want; and as soon as you start saying you can't do that, you have yourself a website which is run like a dictatorship; and we can all agree that isn't what we want. Twitter is used how individuals choose to use it, and if they want to keep saying they're depressed, you cannot stop them, and so I control it in the only what I can - by following a very select group of people.
Twitter is great for keeping up to date on what your favourite celebrity is up to. Charlie Brooker is my main one. By following him on Twitter, I know exactly when he is on TV and when he has written a new article for me to read. I love that and in fact it was one of the only reasons I got Twitter in the first place - to stalk.
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| Charlie Brooker's Twitter display picture. A world class scowl! |
That is one of the main purposes of Twitter - to stalk people. I can stalk my favourite celebrities without them even knowing and getting a restraining order on me. I know precisely what members of my family are doing without even having to ask them; and likewise for me. People know what I'm doing. People often know when I'm doing it. People even known what kind of car I'm driving, which makes it even easier for them to stalk me. Twitter is a very scary device.
That is another problem with Twitter, as soon as you say anything it goes on the Internet, forever. You have to be careful with what you say, because things can come back and bite you on the derrière. You cannot copyright a Tweet either. You have no way of stopping other people saying it; which is what regularly happens with things I say I've found out. Either people have exactly the same thoughts after me, or they steal them and don't give me credit. Keith Chegwin is a big culprit of this and recently erupted into a 'scandal'. Regularly he will Tweet other peoples jokes. Milton Jones and Tim Vine seem to be his favourites to steal from. You have no way of knowing who the true author of a Tweet is.
And finally, I have to mention Jade Goody. I haven't mentioned her in a blog for nearly 5 months I think, which is brilliant, but now it's time to break that record. When I joined Twitter 20 months ago, it was in the midst of Jade Goody being ill and dying and me disliking her very much. I started to get into regular disputes on Twitter with people about it. Other Twitterer's were very quick to respond when I said something negative about her, so I quickly developed a reputation on Twitter for having very strong opinions about everything and Jade Goody. That has slowly faded away, but my first experiences with Twitter were debating with Jade Goody fans. Something which I am very proud of and I wouldn't have been able to do that without Twitter.
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| One of the many pictures of Jade Goody leaving hospital and going home to die... |
I love Twitter. I adore Twitter. I heart Twitter. There is no hiding that, despite this long, ranting blog about Twitter. I Tweet a lot. I Tweet too much. I spend a lot of time on Twitter. I will Tweet anywhere thanks to being able to Tweet from my phone. I expect I will continue to Tweet for a long time to come. And why? I love blogging, and Twitter is essentially a way of writing lots of mini blogs. It allows me to share my strong views with whoever wants to read them, just like I do with this blog. Also, I advertise my blogs on Twitter, which makes more people, read them.
Now, I better go and advertise this blog to my 99 followers...
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