An Unconventional Driving Test - Ye First

Yesterday I had my Driving test. I may as well tell you now incase you don't know already - I failed. Bugger. Anywho, the snow means I have time to write a blog, so here I go. First I'll update you on the useless information of my four driving lessons prior to my test, and then vaguely inform you about my test. I am sorry I failed because it now means you've got to cope with a few more blogs about my lessons.

So Lesson 29. We're going back to the last week of school and the day it snowed hard and I had a driving lesson. Fortunately, my lesson finished about half hour before the snow came down. Was still cold though! The lesson consisted of me doing two, yes that is right, two three point turns, a parallel park, a reverse around a corner and a reverse into a parking bay. All were successful and was overall a good lesson.

Now let’s move to Christmas Eve for Lesson 30. This was cancelled. Then back on an hour later with a different car. This first meant going to the instructor’s house to meet his wife and very hairy dog to get into his new back-up black car (I was the first student to drive it). Anyway, it took some getting used to, but other than that it was a very good lesson I thought. Done a reverse around a corner into a parking bay (a two birds, one stone move), a parallel park, a three point turn then a reverse around a corner. It was an interesting way to 'celebrate' my 30th lesson.

Lesson 31 a week later and I was back in the old car - the first student to drive the old car since he got it repaired. It was raining very hard and didn't really do much driving. The majority of the lesson was going through the 'Show Me, Tell Me' questions for my test, as well as numerous emergency stops and also managed to fit in a three point turn.
Lesson 32 was the next day and it was still raining hard as well as my last lesson before the test. We done some more 'Show Me, Tell Me' and more emergency stops; I have to say - emergency stops are such fun! Anyway, I also did a reverse into a bay, a three point turn and a reverse around a corner.

THE TEST
Okay, so yes, I failed. I have prepared an excuse however: Snow. My driving test was on snow and ice which if I'm honest isn't exactly the best conditions for a driving test. I should be grateful it wasn't cancelled though I suppose. I actually did very well for a majority of the test. It didn't start very well with me attempting to open the bonnet at the bumper but my instructor was very nice and didn't think I was a complete idiot.
I had 9 minors (you're allowed a maximum of 15 to pass) and had 2 serious (you're allowed none). The two ‘serious’ mistakes where silly one which I've never done before, and both done in the last 5 minutes of my test. One was rolling back at traffic lights as I hadn't put my handbrake on and the other cutting someone up coming off a roundabout. The minors where mainly me not checking my mirrors regularly enough and getting the wrong gear going up hills. Very silly stuff.

I am very disappointed with it really knowing I could have easily passed it. However I have already booked my second driving test. Annoyingly I have to wait another two months though - 3rd March at 09:37. Wish me luck!

Going back to my vague discussion about the instructors cars; he has, let's say, unique license plates. His normal red car has 'POO' written in his licence plate number. The back-up car has 'PEE' written in the license plate number. Now picture the scene with both cars on the driveway. You could knock on his door and tell him "Someone's left a poo and a pee on your driveway." That entertained me for ages when I figured that out. How immature am I?

So, from now on my driving lessons will be fortnightly (because prices have gone up and I can no longer afford them weekly) so a new blog on my driving lessons will be posted just before my test on 3rd March.

This is my first blog post of the year so I suppose I should say:

Happy New Year!

It's Unconventionally Close Now

It's not long before my driving test now; in fact I have my test on the 6th January which is the equivalent of 3 more driving lessons - it's becoming a scary thought considering I can't get much practice in my own car in because of all this blooming snow and ice. Anywho, I've not blogged for a while about my driving lessons, and I have 6 lessons in which to boringly inform you about. I hope I past my test first time because I don't think I could bear the tedium of having to blog about more driving lessons...

Lesson 23 then, and it was what I consider to be a very good driving lesson which I enjoyed. The lesson was mainly through country roads and was of course - an unconventional driving lesson. How many people have a driving lesson where they come across a telegraph pole across the road? My Driving Instructor doing the right thing, phoned the police to inform them while I carried of driving which meant I ended doing 20 minutes driving on my own, which was good. Besides that, I did do a reverse around a corner, into a parking space, a parallel park and also a three point turn.

Lesson 24 wasn't as exciting as the previous lesson. Essentially, it was just a boring hour drive around Canterbury with lots of traffic; in which I done (as you can guess by now) a three point turn, parallel parking, reversing into a parking space and reversing around a corner.
Lesson 25 was the same, driving around boring Canterbury, in what seemed to be a huge circle. I done a three point turn, a parallel park, reversed around a corner and into two parking spaces. The first one took 4 attempts before I done it properly - why I do not know. The second I felt was a much harder space to reverse into and managed to do it quite successfully.

Lesson 26 and it went very well and again enjoyed the lesson. I done the usual three point turn, a parallel park and reversed around a corner. I made no mistakes. However, as is common in my driving lessons, all the brake lighting failed, so 10 minutes of my lesson was at the back of the car replacing the bulbs. It's good experience anyway. This happened a few months ago as well.
Lesson 27 followed in the car's record for being very reliable with me doing the lessons with an almost broken clutch. This meant I had to be very careful with it, and again is a good experience I suppose. I done a three point turn and reversed around a corner - which for some reason I couldn't do properly.

Lesson 28 was in the dark - my first lesson in the dark to be precise... Well, considering that fact, it went very well I thought. I didn't know how to use the car lights, so there may have been the odd time in which I was driving in the pitch black. I now know how to work them however. Despite the fact it was a night time lesson, I still had to do a parallel park which went well. Also, I had to do a three point turn, which ended up being a 5 point turn because I couldn't see and reversed around a corner which also didn't go particularly well because of the darkness. The thing is, in the dark it's hard to see where you're going - would you believe that?

I get on well with my driving instructor, and the reason for this is that we share a similar tendency to have big pointless rants about insignificant things. A man not indicating at a roundabout can result in him moaning for 10 minutes at how dangerous it can be. Also, he seems to have a different word every few weeks to call people. Usually it's child-friendly words such as 'Plank' or 'Twit' but his new word for the past few weeks is 'Pleb', which I think may be a slightly strong word to call someone who forgot to put a blinking light on. Never-the-less, he's alright.

The next blog about my driving I expect will be telling you about my remaining three lessons and then how my test went; whether I passed or failed. I am actually quite confident about it. The only things which I think will let me down are my observation and reversing into a parking bay. Those are the two things which I have the biggest problem with. Hopefully it won't affect me and I'll pass first time; purely because I can't afford to take my test again...

I'm Running Out of Unconventional Blog Titles

I've had twelve driving lessons, so now I feel it is time to relieve you of the agony of not knowing what happened in driving lesson number nine. I revealed at the end of my last blog (in case you've forgotten, which you probably have) that the lesson nearly ended in terror. That was my first cliff hanger I've done on a blog, and is probably something I won't do again because there was no point to it. Anyway, onwards with the third 'episode' of the ‘Unconventional’ series of blogs.

Driving lesson number nine (which was six weeks ago - seems like ages) started off normally really. I did my usual trip from my house into Canterbury with no major problems. Then I was faced with a Zebra Crossing. As drivers will know (and I now know), you're suppose to stop at a Zebra crossing if there are people waiting to cross. I panicked and instead of braking, ended up accelerating to the horror of the old man with a walking stick who was crossing.
Don't worry reader, the car was brought to an emergency stop by the instructor and the old man crossed safely. This was however, the only time I stalled the car, but technically it was the instructor who stalled it, not me. Anyway, shortly after we stopped to allow me to calm down and get an earful from Yoda's younger, driving instructor brother. After that 5 minute break, I recovered the lesson by doing a successful reverse around the corner.

After a week to recover from that frankly, disastrous lesson, I hit the 10 lesson mark. To mark this occasion, it rained, very hard in fact, but nether-the-less, it was easy to say that had been my best lesson after demonstrating a whole range of skills. I spent 20 minutes on a dual carriageway, which was the longest I'd done in one lesson and was very successful, still having to stop myself from speeding though. Also reversed around a corner, reversed into a parking space in one go and also done a three point turn which my instructor said I hadn't done it properly and wouldn't make it round. Guess what - I did do it! Also done a hill start without hitting any parked cars. I did however stall the car one, but who cares?

Lesson 11 and the sun was out this time. Was another very good lesson I thought, and I didn't even stall the car, which was an achievement in itself. I done a three point turn again very well as well as reversing around a corner. This lesson was more to test my knowledge of the Highway Code and to find out if I had really been reading the books. I got about 90% of the questions he asked me correctly, but then the questions where from two categories; Alertness and about loading cars. He regaled me with tales from years ago when he over loaded his van, and when he once towed a car on a trailer, which began to swerve and how he overcame this problem. These are obviously stories which will help me pass my driving theory test...
I don't want you thinking the lesson went without problems though, because it didn't, but this time it wasn't my fault, it was the fault of the car. I'm not a mechanic, but I think the car had a stroke. All the lights on one side of the car stopped working and every time I used a light on the right side (to indicate or brake) the car kept buzzing at me. Once I got home, I was given a lesson in how to change a car light bulb. This attempt didn't work though and he ended up cancelling his lessons for the rest of the day - and I was only his second student of the day, so I don't think he was best pleased.

Lesson 12 and again the sun was out and the car was fixed. This lesson also went reasonably well and I done a three point turn, reversed around a corner and reversed into a parking space. I still haven't mastered reversing into a parking space; in fact I've not mastered parking the car at all yet, whether it is a parallel park or reversing into a parking space. I did however discover that Canterbury has a very small one-way system, and considering I never knew it existed, I got rather confused. I survived, and so did the car and every member of the public, so it wasn't too bad.

Anyway, in a few more weeks, I shall post another blog about Driving lessons 13 to 16. I'm not really doing this blog to tell you how my lessons are going, and not even to give The City School of Motoring some free advertising, because if that was the case, this blog isn't really doing it successfully. I'm purely only doing this for my benefit. I suppose you could call it a diary of my progress, so that when I finally pass my test and can begin driving around in my Orange Nissan Micra, I can look back at these and think how silly I was getting so excited by going into Top Gear (or Fifth Gear, depending which you prefer).

I am now about to consider putting myself in for my theory test. You would have thought I would have been slightly put off exams for a while after getting my A-level results (which weren't exactly brilliant), but no, I feel like putting myself through more agony of exams. Anyway, so by the time I post another 'Unconventional' blog, I will have a date for my theory exam hopefully.

Toodles m’dearys
xXXx

Unconventionally Back By Popular Demand

Well I say it's back by popular demand, that’s technically not true. I didn't have a group of people camping outside my house and waving around signs nailed to an old piece of wood demanding I write another blog on my driving lesson. By popular demand, I mean it is the blog that has gotten the most responses than any of my other ones. Plus it is something that can be a regular theme until I eventually pass my driving test. From now on then, every so often, I shall write a blog about the last few driving experiences. Maybe they won't be that entertaining, and demand will disappear but it saves me having to keep coming up with different blog ideas.

I shall begin, where I left off last time so it's now lesson 4, early in the morning, on a Tuesday. Where I live, this is considered to be dustbin day, so my driving lesson started by manoeuvring my way through dustcarts. Then off through the narrow country roads which seemed to never end, but when they did, I stalled it, just as I was pulling out onto a main road, so not very handy. Nether-the-less, I carried on and done another three-point turn and again, didn't hit the curb, which I think was rather lucky. And when I got home, as usual, I found my shirt was rather wet from sweat.

A week later, and again on a Tuesday morning, but this time as we sat in the car near my house talking, while we waited for all the school kids to get to school so I didn't run them over, a nosey neighbour came over to talk to me, eating a 10 minute hole into my lesson. She ended up talking to my instructor about fruit, out of all the subjects of discussion to choose. Anyway, after she buggered off, I began lesson 5. Had to drive around the dust carts again and then the lesson began properly. This lesson we covered reversing into a parking space, which didn't go too bad, but could've been better. Then it was time to come home, and to go home always requires a trip down a dual carriageway and for the first time I got into top gear and started to hit just over 60 MPH, which at the time felt great. He was egging me on though, with him keep repeatedly yelling 'boot it' at me. Also, I did stall the car twice, but at this point in my lessons, it is expected still.

Lesson 6 now, this time on a Monday morning, so there were no wheelie bins to contend with, just little kids again, avoiding the nosey neighbours and it being bloody hot. This time I attempted the reversing into a parking space again, which I failed miserably with and after 5 attempts, we gave up and attempted the three-point turn manoeuvre which I seem to be rather good at. Again, I never hit the curb - surely this is a miracle. Anyway, on my way to do the three-point turn, I stalled it, but stalling it isn't bothering me yet. Also, I counted and overall I had 9 roundabouts, which are rather daunting sometimes, and then I decided I would park in a disabled bay for some reason at the end of the lesson, but he did stopped me. At the end of the lesson, he revealed to me that he felt like 'A Mouse trapped in a microwave'. I'm assuming he was telling me my driving scared him, which is good to know.

Lesson 7 and yet again it’s a Monday morning, but luckily it wasn't a hot day, so we didn't have to sit in the car sweating like mice in microwaves. Done reversing into a parking bay again, and this time it went pretty well, could have been a lot worse. However, I did stall it rather a few times, as for some reason I had forgotten how to use the clutch properly. Then we went on to attempt reversing around a corner, which went very well and done it one attempt, so I was rather 'chuffed' with that.

It's Wednesday afternoon (a week later), and I'm having driving lesson 8. It made such a change to me, and also for a change, I wasn't worried about it too much, in fact I couldn't be bothered to do a lesson - and this showed. The lesson started from school, so imagine the annoyance when I only stall the car once - in front of a load of my peers at the bus stop. Then I went and done a three-point turn, and for the first time, hit the curb. However, I did attempt to do reversing into a parallel parking space, and luckily I hit no cars, so this made up for it a bit. My confidence had been hit about two hours before though, after witnessing a pretty bad accident. But I survived however hard I tried to destroy the car. At this point in my driving lessons, I am coming home drenched in sweat still, so after every lesson, I have to make sure I have a bath.

When I wasn't going very fast, purely for the fact I was nervous at the start, he would shout 2 commands at me. It would either be 'Come on, Boot it' or 'Give it some more go-go's'. Now I have become more confident, and he no longer has to yell these commands at me, and instead he finds himself having to constantly remind me of the speed limit. I do still find those two phrases ringing around my mind, and I think I have many nightmares with him constantly repeating 'Give it more go-go's' in my ear.

Today’s driving lesson nearly ended in terror, but you will have to wait another month to hear about it. I’ve never done a cliff hanger on a blog before; I wonder how successful it will be. We shall have to wait and see.
Toodles m’dearys
xXXx

Unconventional

The word unconventional is used a lot, you could say it's used an unconventional number of times, but that would be an unconventional thing to say really, and very unconventional to keep saying the word unconventional in a paragraph about the word unconventional. Sometimes the word unconventional is used in unconventional places (like here) and other times it is conventional to use the word unconventional; possibly to describe my unconventional driving instructor.

I have been seventeen for two weeks and I have just completed my third driving lesson, which I must say are very frightening and how I've not hit anything yet is somewhat of a miracle. I had my first lesson on my birthday, but not under the best of conditions. The night before did include some drinking of alcohol in excessive amounts, not a great deal of sleep... And Mamma Mia three times (not my choice, that's for sure). So with my driving lesson I wasn't exactly the most alert I've ever been. It didn't really help that my driving instructor is unconventional.

Driving lesson one - Very simple really. It included a hill start, two roundabout, dual carriageways, and fourth gear hitting just over 50MPH. Just to break me into the act of driving softly. He claims it was a good way of building confidence, and it was really. However at the time I was totally and utterly nervous and a heart attack was only one more roundabout away. I got out of the car drenched in sweat and took me a few hours for my heart to return to what is considered to be a normal and healthy pace. I won't get bored though, and it is considerably better than just driving around a car park for an hour to practice using the clutch and break.

Driving lesson two - Again, very simple really. It included a hill start, dual carriageways and fourth gear hitting 50MPH. However it also included 5 roundabouts, a lot of country roads and I later worked out it was a 20 mile trip around East Kent. Not quite as terrifying as the first though. For a start, I got an early night sleep, hadn't touched a drop of alcohol for a few days and it had been a week since I last watched Mamma Mia. However, I did stall the car at the very start and at the very end, but the distance in between was rather successful. To be honest, this lesson was rather fun, even if I did get out of the car, drenched in sweat again and a heart that only took a matter of minutes to return to its normal state this time.

Driving lesson three – It was much simpler than the first two. It included the normal dual carriageways and fourth gear, not far away from 60 MPH and only 2 roundabouts. Also, I did a three point turn, something which is generally done after a few more lessons. Obviously I couldn't just attempt it and hope for the best, we had to have a chat first. But about the history of the introduction of the first driving test and World War II? You wouldn't think so, but yes, it is true and it did work. I knocked over no lamp posts and squashed no passing dogs; in fact it was rather successful. Well, the result was that the car was pointing in the opposite direction anyway. I got picked up from school and an hour later I was at home, so you could call it a £21 taxi ride, in which I chauffeured myself, ended up drenched in sweat again, but for the first time, got out with a smile on my face.

To be honest, the amount of times he keeps pushing me to go faster and faster makes me wonder if he is training me to drive fast so we can make a quick escape after he has robbed a bank; although I'm not saying he is. I am beginning to quite enjoy these lessons now with my confidence increasing as well as my skill. I have now nearly mastered the pedals and gear changing and the steering and general stuff that involves the car moving and not crashing.
He could be a heck of a lot worse though, because at no point does he shout when I make a stupid mistake, and he even adds a few laughs in between the serious business of teaching me drive. After walking 3/4 miles in the pouring rain the other day, I am even more focused on passing my driving test and driving my Orange Nissan Micra to school, or maybe even work by then. The day I have dreamt about.
I do feel guilty though because in my three lessons behind the wheel of a car, I seemed to have progressed the same as friends who have been learning to drive for months, and in one case, learning for over a year now. Am I just brilliant? I doubt it. Is it because the instructor is forever pushing me and thus growing my confidence? More than likely. Am I just delusional? Possibly.

Anyway, if you fancy going with this guy contact me because there is a free driving lesson in it for me!! And now the reason for the blog is apparent, I'm trying to persuade people living in the local area to me to drive with him so I can save £21. They never thought of that on Dragons Den did they!

Toodles m’dearys.
xXXx