Milton Jones. You Know, Him With The Shirts On Mock The Week...

The Crazy-haired, obscure shirt-wearer, pun-machine,
that is Milton Jones!

I don't think Milton Jones really suits the surroundings of Mock The Week. The show is a bear pit where comedians race to get their joke heard, and it will sometimes involve a race to the microphone or shouting louder than someone else until they give up. However, he still seems to excel himself. He is much like a senile Grandad who sits in the corner of a room quietly, until you forget he's there. Then, all of a sudden, he says what he has just been thinking about amongst all of the shouting. Everyone stops and listens, and then everyone laughs harder than they have previously to any of the other comedian’s material. He is brilliant and fast becoming my favourite current comedian.

                                                         

Therefore, it won't come as a surprise when I say that I have now seen him perform live for the second time, in a space of under 18 months. I reviewed his first show in 'My Comedy Nights Reviewed' blog at the end of 2009, and I very much enjoyed it. Well, I obviously did otherwise I wouldn't put myself through torture of going to watch him again for a few hours...

The show at Canterbury's Gulbenkian Theatre was actually scheduled for January, but due to 'TV commitments', it got postponed by a month. Also, this date was one of two, with the first one being booked very fast. This I think is a sign of how his popularity has increased since our last meeting. However, he is still different from all other comedians I have seen live. Last time I saw him walking about outside after the show. This time, I saw him wondering around before the show. I have only seen five other comedians live, but none of them have walked through the cafe part of the theatre, to buy a sandwich. Obviously, being the English people I, my friend and everyone else in 'holding pen' are, I don't believe anyone actually acknowledged him.

Anyway, once released from the holding pen into the theatre, and after a few Queen songs played and the lights turned off, the warm-up act came out. This was Milton Jones's Grandfather; or for the more cynical amongst us, Milton Jones wearing a cap, jacket and a gurn, whilst pushing a check shopping trolley, in the guise of the aforementioned Grandfather. Yes, he was his own warm-up act.

Or rather, he was a warm-up act for his warm-up act. After Milton's 'Grandfather' left the stage, a young chap called James 'Giftshop' Acaster took to the stage. In all honesty, I am always cynical about young comedians, so I was feeling anxious about this blonde haired man who has barely stopped using Freederm. He was actually, really funny and I thought him a great addition to the night. A great raconteur who will make every audience member squirm at the amount of detail he squeezes from every story. He also had great audience interaction in which he practically sodomised another young man live on stage. Whether that was a one off or if it always happens, I don't know, but that was a moment which had the entire room laughing. If it wasn't part of his routine, it probably is now. Incidentally, you won't get the 'Giftshop' part of his name unless you see him live.

He left the stage leaving everyone still slightly giggling and the interval happened.

Then the interval ceased, people returned to their seats and on stage came Milton Jones, sporting a blue addition to his collection of fabulous shirts.

His act was obviously brilliant. It was fast paced puns continuously, with him using props such as an overhead projector, a small book and slides to help him seamlessly flit from pun to another. He was only ever slowed down by hecklers, but then when has that never been the case with top comedians? He, and indeed other members of the audience, dealt with the heckler, who was soon put back in his place. One may enquire why people insist on shouting out, when they don't intend to deal with the follow up.

If you have flicked back to my old blog, you would notice that Milton has done the same thing in his last live show, such as dressing as an old man, but it was completely different. In fact, I think Milton was fantastic and I actually never wanted him to stop telling jokes. I would have been happy to sit there for many more hours. This whole evening out only took up two hours of life, and it felt like much longer. I suppose being told a vast volume of jokes in a short amount of time seems to affect how time seems to pass.

If you can go and see him, I strongly recommend it. If you like jokes, laughter, sodomy, old people impersonations, colourful shirts and props, then Milton Jones: Lion Whisper is the comedy show for you.

P.S. I have no real idea why he named it 'Lion Whisper', apart from the fact it's a reference to one of his jokes, which you'll miss if you cough.

My Comedy Nights Reviewed 2010

Just like last year, I have spent the past few months watching comedy shows and laughing until I forget my problems, instead of concentrating on my A-levels. Every time I have gone to the local, small theatre in Canterbury called 'The Gulbenkian'; a lovely, small place. Where ever you sit, you still feel as if you're too close to guy on stage. I think it is probably the meaning of an 'intimate gig'. This year, I only went on three occasions; Paul Zerdin, Ardal O'Hanlon and Jeremy Hardy.

Firstly, I went to see Paul Zerdin on his Spongefest tour in mid-September with a friend. It is very interesting to think that he is the most popular, active Ventriloquist in the UK currently, and yet, a lot of people don't recognise his name. Every time I told someone that I was going to see him - they would just look at me blankly. I would then go on to explain that he is 'the one who has the baby'. What followed was people going 'Oh yeah, him', but I'm not sure whether that was to just shut me up or not.

Anyway, he had a female magician, Mandy Muden as his warm-up act, and she was brilliant. One reviewer called her 'A sexy Tommy Cooper but without a fez', which is a shame because I think she'd have looked lovely with a fez. Anyway, the reason for the comparison is that she was very good at comedy and pretending to be rubbish at magic. We, as seems to be the norm when I go to see comedy, were sat near a heckler. He was soon put into his place by her and was no longer the 'cocky bastard' everyone thought of him to be.

Paul Zerdin then came on, after being introduced by 'The Voice Of The Balls' (National Lottery) and Nigel Havers (that posh one who left 'I'm A Celebrity...') through recorded sound bites. Impressive start. If I were to be brutally honest, I was slightly disappointed by his lack of new material. However, it didn't matter and he was amazing. He has three puppets. His most popular one seems to be Sam. He also had Sam's Grandfather called Albert and a baby called... Well, Baby. The reason why it was brilliant seeing him live was because of the fact it was an 18+ event. It is one thing to see a ventriloquist, but to see it all X-rated with swearing is truly amazing. One review of him which I read said he were 'A ventriloquist for the South Park generation', which he so definitely is! Seeing an old man puppet shouting "She's gagging for it" is certainly very funny.

Forgetting the puppets; Paul Zerdin is so very talented. He has the ability to use his voice to devastating effects, such as being able to echo the characters voice without his lips moving the slightest millimetre. He also has created great real life scenarios in which he could use his skills; for example to freak people out in a non-speaking elevator, walking past pregnant ladies and while watching Lobsters boil. If you have the chance to see Paul Zerdin and all his sponge friends, I strongly suggest you grab the chance with both your hands. Just a tip though - if you're ugly, don't sit on the front row - he will pick on you, throughout, constantly. I'm just saying...

The second show I saw was just a week later; Ardal O'Hanlon. This is a man who I have admired and watched on TV for many years, since I was young. In fact, it is easy to say that he is one of the four people who probably created the person I am today. Ronan Atkinson, John Cleese, Richard Wilson and Ardal O'Hanlon are those four men. Imagine my excitement at seeing that he would be coming to a theatre near me soon. I had to go and see him. With another friend, I did.

I have his last stand up tour on DVD. I love it. It is one of my favourite stand-up shows I have on DVD. I will just say this; it is a bloody good job that I do love it, because about 60% of the material he does on his latest tour, is material he done on his previous tour. It doesn't change the fact that I loved it and laughed the entire way through. He did change some of the punch lines, so it adds a bit of variety. Mind you, it is a bit like going to see your favourite bands really. You go to see them to hear them perform your favourite songs live, so why should it be any different comedy? I went to see him live, and he done some of my favourite jokes and also some new stuff, which was equally as funny.

The Irishman was very popular with the folk of Canterbury and I in fact saw numerous people I knew, including my favourite primary school and my family doctor. O’Hanlon had the audience eating out of his hands, metaphorically of course. It would be a completely different show if weren't metaphorically. Anyway, at every joke he told, people were howling (or in the case of my primary school teacher, cackling) with laughter.

Whether I had heard them or not, his jokes were fantastic. He is completely different to the likes of Michael McIntyre and more an Irish version of Lee Evans, but less sweaty. His humour is some of the most observant one can hear and is thoroughly enjoyable. If you haven't heard any of his stand up before, then great, fantastic. Go and see him and you will laugh until your lungs hurt. If you have seen his material, and really liked it, then still go and see it, but you don't need someone like me patronising you and telling you what you already know. The man is a genius, even if he may not sound or look it.

Exactly two months later, on the final day of November, I went to see Jeremy Hardy with the same friend. This was slightly new territory for me. Previously I've only really seen comedians that I have watched or listened too and really enjoyed. I've heard him a little bit on Radio 4 and seen him on occasion on Qi. I liked what I'd seen, so I was looking forward to it. Me and my friend did seem to drastically bring down the average age of the audience however. I could easily say I was the youngest person in the audience, being just a mere 18.5 years old.

30th of November was the first day of the 'treacherous' snow in Kent, so it started half hour late due to him being a few hours late. This had put him in a bad mood. His comedy was more just satire. It was as if I had gone to University to do a degree in ranting; two, hour stints of him just standing on stage, lecturing us about the new ConDem Government, social media and lots more. He started off in an unplanned rant about the weather and the state of travel.

Just in case you do go and see him after he's had a miserable journey to your town, be warned, he is asthmatic. Never would I have thought that I would go to a comedy show to see a comedian need to use their asthma pump. Mind you, I never thought I would see a comedian ask the audience for a tissue, but he done that too. It is for those reasons as well as the intimate surroundings and relaxed attitude of the audience that I think this wasn't a stand up show. This was most definitely a man lecturing a group of a few hundred people about his views upon current politics.

Was Jeremy Hardy worth risking my life for to driving home at 11pm in the thick, icy snow on untreated roads? Yeah, I really enjoyed it. He was different to the other comedians purely because it seemed more conversational, albeit coming only from one side. Others do this whole routine that they have done time and time again. I'm sure that is what Jeremy done too, but it is less obvious. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

If you were putting a gun to my head and forcing me to pick one of the comedians I saw as a favourite, I would have to be shot; right in between the eyes. I couldn't pick. They are all completely different and unique in their different ways: Paul Zerdin with his puppets making rude innuendos, Ardal O'Hanlon with observational humour and one of my childhood heroes, and Jeremy Hardy with satirical lecturing. All were brilliant. However, made to choose between all the comedians I've seen in my life, I would still say Lee Mack, who I saw last year and reviewed in last year’s 'My Comedy Nights Reviewed' blog.

I have no idea what next year has install for me comedy wise, but so far, I know I am seeing Milton Jones again in January, so expect another blog reviewing that experience...

My Comedy Nights Reviewed

In recent months, instead of concentrating all my time on my A-levels to try and get fantastic grades and get into University, I've been out sitting in the audience of numerous comedy gigs. The first one was more a magic show, in which comedy was included and that was 'A Night With Paul Daniels' in October. In November I went and sat in the audience of Milton Jones; a one-liner comedian who is the English equivalent to Stewart Francis and a hairier version of Tim Vine. December saw me go and watch Sean Lock who can regularly be seen on Comedy Panel Shows and then Lee Mack a week later who occasionally is seen on Live At The Apollo and on Not Going Out. Also, I've been reviewing these shows...

Paul Daniels I saw on the 9th October at the Village Hall which is about a 30 seconds walk from my house, which is surprisingly close for a famous person to be from my house. I was surprised to learn that not many people of a similar age to me know who he is. He is the last of the proper performers in my opinion. This was just after Derren Brown's shows on Channel Four so magic was fresh in my head. One of the tricks Derren Brown done with the nation was make them stick to their seats, something which Daniels done on a smaller, similar scale. He had two men onstage; one of which was sat down and the other standing behind a chair and holding the back of it. He made them convinced for about 10 minutes that they could not move, which was a funny experience to watch.
Paul Daniel's brought his wife and assistant Debbie McGee with him as well, and between them they worked the audience well, but after doing this for 30 years, you certainly would hope they could. He is actually rather a funny man, with lots of interesting thoughts. He also allowed audience members to ask him questions, some were rather appalling and others were very good which left Daniels demonstrating his wit and making the audience laugh - not bad for 71 year old it has to be said.
On the 6th November at the Gulbenkian Theatre, I went to see Milton Jones. It has to be said, he isn't particularly well known with the stereotypical teenager, what with him having a show on Radio 4, but a recent appearance on Mock The Week, replacing David Mitchell who replaced Frankie Boyle, made him briefly known. I've known of him for a long time, and after listening to a few shows, decided I liked him. He is a very funny man and not for people who aren't fast to get jokes. By the time you've understood the first joke, you would have missed the following three.
The warm-up act was a man called Paul Kerensa from Devon. What do I remember most about him? Is it his any of his jokes? Nope. Maybe it's the fact he has ginger hair? No It's the fact he showed us his belly, to prove that he doesn't have a belly button. To be honest, he could have just walked on stage without a shirt on and he'd have made a lasting impression on every single person in that theatre. It seems people (including me) are mesmerised by people with deformities.
After that Milton Jones came on stage (dressed as an old man) to tell some awful, but hilarious bad jokes. This was my first exposure to a proper live comedy gig, so I was disappointed when the person in front turned out to be a heckler. This is a man who we concluded was a cross between Jimmy Saville and an unfunny Vic Reeves. Why people pay to go and watch a show to then shout 'You're rubbish' half way through makes no sense to me. Luckily comedians have a quick wit to deal with idiots like that. Apart from that, I really enjoyed it and I urge you to find out who he is if you don't already know who he is.
The best bit for me was when it had finished and we were standing outside when who should walk past... That's right, Milton Jones. I felt the need to ask 'How are you?' before saying 'Good show'. Not my proudest moment, but he's added to my list of comedians I've spoken to, with Vic Reeves being the only other name on that list.
Monday 7th December came along and that evening I went to see Sean Lock; warming up for next year’s tour - and we were on the fourth row. I have always considered him to be my favourite comic, and seeing him live was a proud moment in my life. I’ve also always considered him to be 'The Panel Show Whore' with him doing shows from BBC's 'Qi' and 'Have I Got News For You', to Channel Four's '8 Out Of 10 Cats' and even Dave's 'Arguemental’. It’s good to just go and see him on stage by himself instead, and I think he is funnier by himself.
As obviously expected, he was very funny. This time the hecklers where much nicer, with one shouting out 'I love you'; how sweet was that? Another heckler who sat behind us was like Rayman - she knew the position of every seat in the theatre - so naturally this provided some comedy for him for a few minutes. From the show we also learnt that Canterbury people get very nervous when asked to think of a letter and also don't like it when someone steals their turn to talk to the man on stage. In a part of the show named 'Audience Battleships', he would shout out a seat number and whoever is sat in that seat he'll speak to. However this isn't a good game to play to a room full people who don't know where they're sitting.
The best image I got from that evening was possibly the idea of Nick Griffin being on fire, and Sean Lock 'having a service station piss on his feet' to put his feet out; then the idea that an Asian paramedic coming and Sean Lock sending them away also 'tickled my funny bone'. So watch out for that gag on Live At The Apollo next year... There are loads of other jokes of course, but the problem I have is that I walked out of the 2 hour gig knowing it was amusing, but only being able to remember a handful of jokes.
A week later, Monday the 14th December, I went to see Lee Mack. How lucky was I, being able to watch two very funny comedians on two Monday's running. Lee Mack is well known for his show 'Not Going Out' and appearing on 'Live At The Apollo' pretty much every series. He has always been one of my favourite stand-up comics, but after seeing him live he has now become my favourite stand-up comic - Live he is hilarious. The warm-up act was Simon Evans and he is one of the writers of 'Not Going Out' along with, coincidently, Paul Kerensa (The warm-up act from Milton Jones), also writes and directs 'Not Going Out'. ALSO, Milton Jones has written the odd bit for Not Going Out; I only just found all this out and that is why you should do research before publishing writing. It amazed me.
Anyway, Simon Evans is a very funny man. A posh man dressed in a waistcoat who swore created quite a funny juxtaposition. Also, with good old fashioned racist jokes about the Welsh, how could he go wrong?
Back to Mack, and he started his part by locking someone in a box and calling a man on the front row a paedophile - I think if a comedian can do this without getting punched in the face, then he's very good. This is what has made him my favourite stand-up act; he's ability to involve and bounce off of the audience. A comedian having a five minute rant at a local area named 'The Isle Of Thanet' is hardly something he could have prepared for and it is his ability to do this which makes him great. Then going behind the curtain and realising there is Pantomime staging behind it brought on more laughs, with him resorting to kicking it to annoy the staff. At the end he lets the audience ask him questions, but it ended up with him just being asked to repeat gags from his last tour, none of which he done, but then why should he?
This show ended up being nearly 3 hours long, and was the most I've laughed all year. This was also a warm-up for his gigs next year, so if you're going to see him you'll have a great time. Two piece of advice though: The first, if you're claustrophobic, don't sit on the front row. The second is if you suffer from incontinence and have the need to go the toilet during the show, don’t back chat him because he’ll always win. The amount of people who done that was actually very surprising.

To be honest, I think you should all be bloody jealous of me and my comedy social life. All four evenings cost me £33 pound overall, so I'm not complaining. What wonders I'll see in 2010 we'll have to wait and see, but hopefully it might include names such as Stewart Francis and Sarah Millican, but we shall have to wait and see.

This blog has turned out to be one of my longest – these blogs aren’t just thrown together you know; hours of effort goes into writing and I had to sit through around 9 hours of comedy to review just for you!

It’s not all fun fun fun...