The Stuart Awards 2010

We are 'enjoying' our last day of the year 2010, and it is time for the annual and greatly unanticipated Stuart Awards. These are awards which are made out of 100% imagination and 'awarded' to those people, objects and events which were either the most annoying or greatest of their category, during the year of 2010. Here are the final results:

Music

Most Annoying Song Of The Year: This award could go to so many songs. Many songs were close contenders for this song. However, after very little deliberation, I'm decided that Willow Smith - Whip My Hair is the most annoying song. It also is the most repetitive and the worst video of the year. Yes, we understand daughter of Will Smith, you like to whip that hair of yours, backwards and forwards, over and over again. Geez.

Song Of The Year: This is a song that you probably will not have heard of, so I suggest you have a listen. Barenaked Ladies - Four Seconds. It is very catchy with its somewhat random and sporadic beat. It ends too soon with the song only lasting just over two minutes.

My New Favourite Old Song Of The Year: Well, this is a song I heard while wandering around B&Q and became stuck in my head for the following months. Prince - Raspberry Beret is the song in question. A song about a woman wearing a reddish hat is essentially the synopsis of the song. I also rather like the imagery of a woman wearing a raspberry beret and not 'wearing much more'. Yes, anyway...

My Album Of The Year: This will not come as much of a surprise to people who have been regularly reading my blogs or know me reasonably well, but this award goes to Maroon 5 - Hands All Over. It is brilliant. It was closely followed by Barenaked Ladies - All In Good Time, but the fact I only like the first four songs, kind of ruins the point of an album of songs.

Most Disappointing Album Of The Year: This is the fastest selling album of the decade I believe; which I am completely miffed about. Take That - Progress gets this award. If this was their debut album, they would never make another album again; let alone tour. It is a short album, with songs which are dreadful. Underground Machine - What the heck? Letting that egotistical mongrel back into the group was the worst thing Take That have ever done.

Film & TV

Best Sequel Of The Year: This is such an obvious winner really. In fact, so obvious that I was considering not even typing the answer, but you wouldn't get that with the Oscars, would you? Anyway, so the award goes to Toy Story 3. This film also wins numerous other awards;

Best 3D Movie Of The Year: This goes to Toy Story 3, partly because the adverts prior to the movie were really good in 3D, and partly because it is the only ever film I've seen 3D, not only this year, but in my life.

Movie Of The Year: Well, it's Toy Story 3.

Worse Sequel Of The Year: This goes to a television program. An American television program. Most surprising is that this program won My TV Obsession of last Year. It goes to Scrubs Series 9: Med School. I love Scrubs; well the first 8 series. The final one should not have been allowed to be made. It was essentially a very bad tribute act. It still had its occasional humorous moments with Dr. Cox's presence, but nothing comparable to the previous series.

The Film Which Went on Too Long: This went to Harry Potter last year, but not this year due to it being rather enjoyable. Instead, the award goes to Eclipse, from The Twilight Saga. It just failed to capture me and continued to drag on.

Drama Of The Year: Obviously goes to Sherlock on BBC 1. It was disappointingly only three episodes this year, but those three episodes were absolutely fantastic, and a lot of people agree. Anyway, read my blog is you want to know everything I thought about it.

Regeneration Of The Year: This only had one contender, and that was Matt Smith as the Eleventh Doctor. He had big, cliché shoes to fill in following David Tennant, but I think everyone is amazed at how brilliant he has turned out.

Sitcom Of The Year: Well, this is really hard. There have been no new Sitcoms which have actually captured my attention. Hardly any continuing Sitcoms have lived up to expectation. Only one Sitcom has, and they won the same award in 2008. It is the only consistent Sitcom which offers laughs. Outnumbered.

Most Annoying Program: This is a shocker. I like Ant & Dec, but 'Ant & Dec Push The Button' may have helped them in the direction of their ending career. Such a disappointing show, and the fact that other people liked it, seemed to annoy me the most.

Best TV Moment of the Year: This is also a big shocker. You never thought that this show would win an award. It just has. Big Brother! The best television moment of the year was specifically the final 5 minutes. Davina cried, hugged a few people, credits rolled, and Big Brother has left British Television!

Celebrity

Celebrity Death Of The Year: This goes to an animal who resided in Germany, who came to fame during the World Cup. Yes, Paul the Octopus wins the award due to him being popular for being able to predict football results correctly. He dies just a few months after, and he wins this award because I have never seen such pointless coverage of a death since Jade Goody last year.

Most Annoying Celebrity Couple: This award doesn't go to a couple who are engaged in a relationship, but a pair who share the media attention and have annoyed us this year. Adrian Chiles and Christine Bleakey. First they snubbed the BBC for ITV, then their show got record low viewership, and the continued coverage of this charade made them more annoying; especially whenever Adrian spoke.

Most Annoying Celebrity: Lois Spence wins this award, as well as the Annoying 'Celebrity' Newcomer of the Year award. He cannot walk, he has to prance everywhere. He is on every channel and invading nearly every program. He has rather an irritating voice and he has to be the centre of attention; even when he done something for charity. This is a 'man' who should be shoved in a dark cellar and forced to create a dance for an N-Dubz song until he eventually becomes malnourished and dies, alone. He has grated my brain until I can convey nothing but irritation for him and whatever he does.

Christine Bleakey in her Dalek costume...

Politics

Best & Worst Newcomer: Nick Clegg. He spent the first few months of the year being one of the most popular people in politics. Everyone liked him. He was the underdog with a chance of doing quite well in elections. Gordon Brown wanted to be just like him. Then, it all went wrong. He is now one of the most hated faces of politics at the latter end of the year.

Coalition of the Year: I am forced to give this award to PC World and Currys. No-one expected them to win a politics award, but they were owned by the same company, who later decided to have them as one entity. They weren't even a contender for this award, but to give it to our ConDem Government would indirectly praise it.

Budget Cut Of The Year: Well, there were a lot of contenders in this category, what with their being over £80Billion cut this year. It could go to the Police, who were already struggling to cope. However, I think just the resulting protests, it goes to Education; or more specifically, University funding. What does it matter if they don't get as much money? I mean, they're only educating the future generations which will run the country in years to come.

General Awards

My Favourite Twitterer Of The Year: This award goes to Tony Cowards; @TonyCowards. He has been described as 'The Tim Vine of Twitter' and a 'Pun-osaurus', he is brilliantly funny and excessively Tweets, so you are always inundated with some of the best worst jokes.

Cloud Of The Year: For the disruption it done, this award goes to The Icelandic Volcanic Ash Cloud which infiltrated British and European airspace for about a week or so. It left thousands of people stranded in foreign countries, with the only way to get home being to carpool to France then catch a train and get to England. Sounds cheap and simple, but I don't expect it was either.

Most Disruptive Water-Based Element Of The Year: This goes to Snow; that white stuff that falls from the sky mainly during the winter when it is particularly cold outside. This brought the country to a standstill, every single time.

It Doesn't Do What It Says On The Box Of The Year: Sensodyne Whitening Toothpaste wins this much wanted award. Its purpose is to clean teeth, relieve sensitive teeth and continue to whiten them. It does none. My teeth just got dirtier, my teeth got yellower and I still had the same level of pain. Is there actually any point in them filling the tube with toothpaste? They may as well sell it empty.

Pointless Use Of 24 Hours News: This is being awarded to two different occasions. The first being the Raoul Moat coverage. It was a week of portraying a crazed man with a gun as the biggest threat to society since the Taliban. This angered him more. The final day with a seven hour standoff against police was covered. That's seven hours of speculations and interviewing people who knew nothing and phoning scared people near the event to relay details. The second award goes to The Chilean Miners. That was two months of being mentioned every day on the news, until the climax of them being freed, when all 33 miners were shown being released back into the wild. It was like Big Brother in that the news went to great lengths to find out lots of information about them, so we had sympathy. Both were just completely unnecessary.

There you have it. The Stuart Awards for 2010. Some you will agree with, others you will think I am on some kind of drug which has impaired my brain power. Well, I'm taking a lot of Paracetamol at the moment, so you might be correct. Anyway, I hope you agree mostly, and have enjoyed these non-televised awards. I will see you back here next year for The Stuart Awards 2011.