Whack-A-Baby

This probably is not the blog someone who is a few days away from becoming a Godfather should be writing, but hey, here I am about to complain about babies.

They may look cute, but they hold the potential to clear a room within seconds. First the loud crying begins which pierces through the ears of everyone in a 500 yard radius like someone blowing a vuvuzela in your ear for about 7 minutes, stopping only for a quick breath. Then follows the next step: Why are they crying? Well, it could be for a number of reasons, but if it's due to a number two in a nappy, the smell will linger in the nose of everyone in whiffing distance for six to eight weeks after.

Ashamed To Be Human

I have concluded I don't suit the human race. I think I would be much more comfortable at being part of another species on planet Earth, such as a rabbit or a tortoise. They always seem quite happy and contented and unbothered by what is happening in the news. A rabbit’s hutch will be lined with newspaper, but being a rabbit I wouldn't be able to read the text nor really be able to understand the context of the pictures. And even if I could understand it, I'd either eat or poo on the offending article. It's easy as a rabbit. I can even wiggle my nose and ears like a rabbit. Maybe I was meant to be a rabbit? Or if you believe in reincarnation, maybe I was once a rabbit. I wish I had a simple life like a rabbit, where I couldn't get offended.

Why am I considering the rabbit’s life? Well, the news the past two days has completely depressed, revolted and ashamed me. I am part of a species that murders. I know it's hardly a news flash: “Human Race Murder”. I'm thinking more about a specific murder carried out yesterday; a murder of a bad man. A terrible man. A man most would agree didn't deserve to live in the first place. However, what has bothered me more is not the murder itself, but the aftermath. His death has been glorified, and that is what I have a problem with.

Almost every newspaper carried a picture, on the front page, of Colonel Gadaffi. His lifeless face, covered with blood and a bullet hole in his head, is a picture which can be seen everywhere today. The Mirror had the worst, most disgusting picture and The Sun had a headline, which seemed to be full of pride at his death: "That's For Lockerbie", with the sub-heading "And for Yvonne Fletcher. And IRA Semtex Bomb victims." That headline is typical of The Sun, and its approach to anything done by, or as a result of, our Army. They are often blinded by a sense of pride. Morality doesn't come into their field of approach to news stories like this.

I hate myself for having to put his picture in my blog, but I just wanted to share the front cover. You can hate me and call me hypocritical if you like...

It comes to something when the human race uses technology to spread footage of a man being tortured and killed, all done within minutes of the event happening. Within an hour of hearing about the capture and possible death of Gadaffi, I was seeing pictures on the BBC Website, and video footage on their news channel, of his dead, bloodied and beaten body. The BBC defended it, by stating that they used the video to convey the scale of the "dramatic and gruesome" events. This is the same for every international news outlet in the country. To me, that is just seems wrong. It seems inhuman to put the face of a dead man everywhere; we wouldn't even treat an animal in that way.

Of course, we have to appreciate that as a nation, we are cynical enough to take the opinion that we won't believe something until we have seen it, and studied it for ourselves. Seeing as we can't all fly to Libya and poke the body ourselves; video footage is the next best thing. Saying to news outlets that they cannot show the pictures in their papers, and websites and news channels would be censorship, and I am against censorship. I just believe that we don't need to see these pictures over and over and over and over again. He isn't a very attractive man in the first place, let alone dead, bruised and bloodied. Why couldn't it just be confined to the Internet and after the watershed on TV? It seems wrong to have this man, who has essentially been 'happy slapped', in this state, as a picture to symbolise Thursday 20th October 2011.

To take an extreme view; we wouldn't do this to a victim. If Gadaffi had captured, then beaten and killed an innocent person in public and filmed it and uploaded the video to the Internet, the media would handle the whole event with moral decency. The same was done with Osama Bin Laden in May. We had a blurry, inconspicuous picture of a body said to be him, which was plastered everywhere. It seems revolting to do this, time after time. WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!

It seems the newspapers have become the medieval equivalent to putting heads of bad people, on spikes for others to treat as they will. It dehumanised them. Now, the papers print the picture of a lifeless head on the front page instead.

There is also the argument of whether he should have been killed in the first place, and even the circumstances of the death are hazy. We have a video of Gadaffi in a bad way, being dragged through the streets of his home town, after been beaten up and having blood pouring off of his face. Then the next video we have is of him lying dead with a small bullet hole. Apparently it was cross fire. However, chances are, it was an emotional person, who probably knew some victims of Gadaffi's regime, and then, consumed with hate, put a gun to his head and blew his brains out (metaphorically).

However, now he is dead, people will never know the truth. People will never know his darkest secrets (which is possibly a relief for Western countries, who were heavily affiliated with him). He can never be tried in court, and can never be punished in the humanly correct way. Many questions will remain unanswered. How can a 'new Libya' claim to be any better than Gadaffi, when they begin like this? But then again, his trial was expected to have taken 10 year. It could be said to have been a waste of money and time. I know I will still disagree with his death, and especially how our media have dealt with it.

If God existed, and I was him, I would be putting the human race on the naughty step. No, don't argue and sulk, you done a bad thing, now sit there quietly until I say so; especially you media bastards!

Easter - The Celebration of the Birth of Christ... No, It's the Death of Christ... Is it? Well Either Way It's The Time Something Happened To Christ

Okay, I know that Easter is celebrating the reincarnation of the character Jesus Christ, from the well known book ‘The Bible’, but I am merely demonstrating the point that a lot of people don’t know why they get four days off, apart from to eat Easter Eggs and watch old movies on the telly. I don’t know a great deal about the story, but I am an Atheist who went to a Methodist Primary School and paid no attention to any of the bible stories.

I may not be very familiar with all the ins and outs of Easter, but I like to think I have a rough idea. Now, I’m about to give my gist of the story, which probably won’t be very accurate, but I’ll have a go, and if I’m wrong, I don’t really care, it just means I’m illustrating the point that no one really knows what Easter is about, better than I planned.

Okay, on Palm Sunday Jesus rode in to Jerusalem on a Donkey with ‘Taxi’ tattooed down the side, while walking on Palm leaves which people put down in front of the donkey. A few days later, Jesus had a fancy dinner party with his 12 groupies called ‘The Disciples’ and fed them with Blood and Skin (Or more famously known as ‘Wine and Bread’). The next day, he was put on a cross, along with a guy called Brian, and they whistled/sang to forget their pains. The Romans then put his dead body in cave and a few days later when they went back, his body had disappeared, therefore meaning he had come back to life – apparently.

It’s funny how many ignorant people there are around, who have no idea what Easter is about, and don't understand the difference between the Birth and Death of Jesus. Looking around on the Internet, you find people posting things which illustrate the point that no one knows what Easter is actually celebrating. I read one thing, which said she was celebrating the birth of Jesus with an Easter Egg. Whether she was joking or not, I don’t know, but that was the inspiration for my blog title.

I don’t understand why we celebrate the death and reincarnation of someone with a chocolate egg and hot cross buns, but for some reason we do. I didn’t have a hot cross bun this year, and I haven’t any other year. I got far too many Easter Eggs this year though, and all I’m doing is sitting and looking at them, wondering why. It’s the same every year, just like other religious festivals.

One of the jokes you hear repeated a lot at Easter, is people saying things like ‘Easter is to celebrate the chocolate egg’ or they start off by sounding serious and saying ‘People forget the true meaning of Easter...’ and conclude with the obvious ending ‘...the chocolate’. It’s a very old and over used joke, which I’m sure everyone must be sick off, well I am at least. My next blog will be about comedy and the state of it at the moment, so look forward to that...

Anyway, I hope you all had a good Easter and are so fat after eating a continuous supply of Easter Eggs that you look in the mirror and wish you was dead...
HAPPY EASTER m’dearys
xXXx

P.S. The picture of the rabbits is just sooo cute!!